What should i do about my marraige??

Question

My husband wont grow up,i have 4 kids and he doesnt have any, and i cant have anymore,but all he wants to do is drink, we dont even sleep in the same bed anymore,and we hardly ever have s*x . its like were roommates or something everytime i bring it up it turns into a big fight and he says he is just stressed out i dont know what to do should i leave him?

Answer 1

If you can't talk it over or go to counseling, and nothing meaningful happens, maybe you should consider separation/divorce.  

Answer 2

Try to get him into counseling.  If he refuses to work on your marriage I would consider leaving him.  You aren't setting a great example for your kids having a lousy new husband.  

Answer 3

i would just act really sad.. and when ya pull him inn.. tell him everything again.. so he thinks about and will realize it.. i alaways do this it workss.. playy innocent and sad..lol

Answer 4

there is a big difference between being married to a man who is a kid at heart and a man that is an alcoholic...........

Answer 5

Seriously, I have to ask--was he not like this BEFORE you married him? Because you can't change people, you take them as is.

If you suddenly decide you can't live this way, then split up.

Answer 6

i would just be flat out honest and tell him exactly what you want and that he needs to do it now if he wants to keep you. There is no point being in a unhappy marriage with a partner that is unwilling to change. you owe yourself more than that and you owe that to your kids. My friend has a finance that is an alcoholic, she thought having a child would solve all their problems. He changed for 3 months and went right back to his old ways. Now they are living with her parents and he doesn't have a job. Some times as hard as it may be, you just have to walk away and know you deserve more than someone is willing to give you.

Answer 7

Could he be depressed?  Either way, counselling is an option, if you love him and want to make it work.  He doesn't sound like he is very good at communicating.

Answer 8

Let me ask you this, is this how you want to live your life?  well if you do, then that is perfect by all means because you chose to be with him, however, your children did NOT have a saying and did NOT have the option of choosing. Your children deserve to have a normal loving family.  That is the bottom line.

Answer 9

I know exactly what your going throw my daughter dad did the same thing.  In his case he was cheating ( but that may not be yours)  maybe he is bored,  you should try something new. My opinion (and if he isn't cheating it will work).  Find a babysitter one night( Not at your house)  Find a s**y victoria secret or Priscilla's  Sup rise him with what you know he loves.  just try it, if he turns that down there there are way bigger issues. and then your answer would be to separate for a bit and take it from there.   LET ME KNOW

Answer 10

Talk to him; Put GOD first in your marriage. Let GOD fix it. It's out of your hands.

Answer 11

I know your going through a rough time.

It's not easy and no one thinks their marriage is going to be like this...

what you have to do in this situation, is think rationally and face facts.

what is most important is you and your kids.

If your not happy then your kids are affected and this can have a negative affect on them. especially being around someone who drinks all the time. kids are a product of their environment.

I'm not telling you to leave. when you get married it is for better or for worst.

but if you two cannot find a way to resolve these issues through, counseling or finding better ways to communicate, then getting a divorce might be the best thing.

what i've found also, is you have to work on yourself first...you have to look at your faults and change your negative ways. you can't change anyone else but you can change yourself.

build your self worth and self esteem. Because you deserve better.

people will only do what you allow them to.

and most important. do you want your kids to think this is the way a marriage is supposed to be. remember you set the standard for what they will allow and accept.

good luck...speaking from experience....build a relationship with God and the rest will fall into place.

Answer 12

Maybe you should pursue him again, you liked him at first for SOME reason surely! Get a sitter and go out just the two of you and have a drink, go to a movie etc. Maybe you should crawl into bed with him and put the moves on him. That might liven things up a bit, it's that or just give up on each other and all your time invested.

Answer 13

you have 4 kids i did at one time and i left but you can throw him out and file for divorce. for gads sake don't tell him just get him out and lock changes and do all this other stuff first. change the checking account and all the stuff first and have everything going to you and then throw him out in same day or two don't' take any chances get good lawyer and get him he has to pay and you don't' have to take that c**p i did it and i ended up marrying another person who helped me with the kids (4) and i ended up getting job and retiring. so you see life is worth something but not with him.

Answer 14

It sounds like some thing is botherig him.If he won,t talk to you is there some one he trusts that you could ask them to have a chat to them.Would it be possible for just the 2 of you to spend a couple of days away togeather,maybe then you both could camly have a talk about things.Pick the right time to ask what it is that is stressing him out and offer to help him with how ever you can

Answer 15

i think you would be better being a mum to just the kids babe !!! leave him to it ,it will show your kids that grown ups take responsibility. good luck to you babes.xx

Answer 16

i think you might want to look at some counselling

if you have 4 kids, this would be another divorce they would have to deal with

give it a shot, you must have seen something in him when you married him

look to find that again

if this doesn't work out think of how it will affect the kids

please make your decision with them in mind

i am not saying that keeping him around is the best thing to do at all costs, that's not what i mean.

but it sounded to me like you were making the decision from YOUR point of view, as a mother of 4 i think you need to make it from the FAMILY point of view

hope that's helpful

good luck

Answer 17

Doesn't sound like there is much of a marriage left. From here on you're just wasting time.

Answer 18

try getting him to go to a marriage counselor

Answer 19

leave only if you think you can not be patient with him. let him know that he is at risk of loosing you to someone else or even just loosing you period. is he not happy? you can tell if someone is not happy. maybe he needs a break?