What should i do about my problem child daughter who is out of controll and disrespectful?

Question

My daughter is 12 years old and trying to do all the bad things she can from back talking to cursing and eating all the time she was abused when her mother kidnapped her from one state took her to another with no way to take care of her the courts decided its in the best interest to stay with me because she was physically mentally and sexually abused I have had custody of my kids for 2 years because my daughter cant get her way wants to move back with her mom yesturday got out of car when we went to the back i called the police they found her an hour later released her to her unfit mom who when she sees the children is suppose to be supervised visits because of all the abuse what should I do far as all situations go here

Answer 1

get her some councelling

Answer 2

I can not tell you what to do about your daughter, but if you make yourself sick with all the build up of stress and frustration you are dealing with you will be no good to anyone. Make sure you remember to balance your own life out so you can stay strong, and keep telling your daughter you love her.

Answer 3

It's called puberty.  Of course calling her a "problem child" doesn't help.  The only thing you can do is go to court, but your daughter is old enough to state who she wants to live with.  Also stop talking her mother down.  Whehter she is fit or not, you CHOSE her to be the mother of your children...

Answer 4

Honestly? I suggest a boarding school geared toward problem kids, one that has an intensive counseling program. This child is crying out for help in dealing with what she's been through, and will continue a path of self-destruction until she is turned away from it.

Good luck, a child like that is sooo hard to keep loving. Do the best you can.

Answer 5

get her conseling

Answer 6

She definitely needs therapy.  Maybe even a support group for kids who have been abused.

The whole family needs therapy.  Her behavior is very normal with children who have been abused.  The fact that she knows mom is a backup plan isn't good.  You need to keep that woman away from her.

Good luck.

Answer 7

What a rant. Take things easy.  You're whole reaction seems to be. 'I've got to control this.'  The poor girl seems to be caught between a rock and a hard place.

If we as a parent have a problem child  is it not that we have made the problem?  We can all blame our partner as being the failing party, and however much truth there maybe in that, we have to recognise that we only have one chance with a child.  We don't have the luxury of a rerun, and we are as much responsible for how that child turns out as anyone else.  

What we have to do is make sure that we are part of the solution and not perpetuating the problem.  In general what you are doing is sound, laying down rules and insisting she keeps to them.  That is not all there is to it.  It is a bit like an angler letting out his line when he has caught a fish before  reeling it in.  The biggest mistake is to believe you know what is what.  If you are willing to take advice get good professional advice, even if you take it all with a pinch of salt, and certainly with your daughter good and on going advice is probably necessary.

Answer 8

I swear and back talk and eat a lot, and I 'm not a problem child. She's  becoming a teenager you idiot.