What should i do about my problem?

Question

i really feel that i about or have been for years, lost touch with at least some part of reality. I am really getting concerned with my mental well being. no matter what i do i can snap my self out. Therapists, medicine, books, vitamins. I fear that i am not meant to survive, that i am just a weak person. I am on the verge of committing myself but i dont even know if you can do that. The weirdest thing is that i am extremely good at fooling people and even myself that i am fine.. i dont know what to do. I am in the military and i have a tremendous amount of pressure to be mission ready which i am not... Can anyone tell me what these symptoms sound like.. Fear of being alone, depression, anxiety, no sense of self or what i want. No feelings or emotions. I feel self conscious around people, like they are judging me. i felt i had control over these feelings for a while but since i started taking an anti depressant they came back with a vengeance. I am going to stop but the moments of clarity i sometimes got before the meds make me see that i have some deep problems but i fear no one will understand. any advice is greatly appreciated

Answer 1

Hi :)

You are under a lot of pressure!

If you felt it was under control, what brought on the meds?

I feel the same. I've never seen anyone else voice my own thoughts about thinking I hide it well from myself and everyone else. I'm going on 13 years of lies. To my loved ones, and to myself. I'm afraid that holding it back that long has caused some serious damage.

I've contacted and started seeing a therapist, since I don't like meds. I tried them once and they just made me feel nothing at all. At least sad is something, right? :)

I feel for you. Please just remember that there are lots people who love you lots, even if you don't know it.

If you can, or feel comfortable enough with it, go ahead and contact me via Y!A from my page.  

Answer 2

It sounds like you could be suffering from anxiety and depression.  The out of touch with reality feeling sounds like depersonalization/derealization and are symptoms of anxiety also.  If you could find a good doctor in your area, even a mental health doctor and have a nice chat with them that would help and then they would set your mind at ease and help get you some treatment.  If you don't like the first doctor then go to another one.   A good doctor will know how to help and reassure you.  Millions of people suffer needlessly from depression and anxiety every day when they could be living much fuller and happier lives.  I've just mentioned this to someone else but if you practice mindfulness and Progressive muscle relaxation therapy, eat healthy and get out and about with good friends then even that will help.

Don't worry about what other people think of you.  People never think of us or judge us as much as we think they do.  If you saw an empty box at the side of the road you wouldn't know what was in it because you can't see the inside, people are like that too, we can't see the inside.  

Good Luck!!

Answer 3

Start by getting your thyroid checked. If that's OK, get all the other hormones looked into.

You should do this with an endocrinologist. Most GPs aren't really up on hormones and tend to be years behind in which tests to order and how to interpret them.

If all that checks out as OK, find a licensed psychologist to talk to.  

Answer 4

I think you have to get yourself out of the military first . Or at least into a non combative position . A medical discharge may be the answer .

There is a big difference between being mission ready and death ready . You don't want to die . Good for you !

You seem to be feeling what people would judge you on if you opened up and gave your honest feelings vent . But in a combat ready situation this is not wanted .

You need to find a theapist who will honestly listen to you . Not one that is told to keep bodies combat ready .

You are good at surviving . That is why you are good at fooling people around you . But you know this is a bluff , like taking prisioners with an unloaded rifle . War is h**l . But somebody has to do it . But you don't . Tell them that .

Answer 5

Maybe you are not happy in your environment.