What should i do i am confused

Question

Ok ppl, i am 17 and am in a relationship with my boyfriend of 3 yrs. we separated for abt 1 mth in 06 and he went and had s*x with a girl, she got pregnant and did not tell him until the baby waz born. and he kept that from me until now almost 2 yrs later. i never knew sumting waz up becuz the baby is in another country with his grand mother. i dont know how to deal with this suitation. i am confused. i really love him and i know that he loves me alot but ...........................i dont knoww

Answer 1

if there is confusion on ur part at present, i suggest that u make a cool off, or temporary separation..

he has broken a breach of relationship, and felt that he has betrayed u..hiding the truth for that long s really heart breaking because u

have trusted him that much and expected him to do the same...

what more, just for 30 days of physical separation, he was able to commit that "harmless act" of having s*x w/other girl?  

if he loves u as u said, he should have been mindful of u, and thoughtful of the consequences that might occur..

loving a short sighted man will just put you to serious situation in the future...financially, emotionally and socially...

u will not forget that, even how much u love him... and everytime he will be separated from u, fear will always creep in ur mind and heart.. and future and serious problems will continue to rise, until finally, u will separate...how if u got married and have children?  r u sure, u can forget the first offense he did while u were just bf/gf?  will u be happy to have a partner or spouse that is unworthy of trust?

confusion, is a battle between ur mind and heart, the brain says no, but the heart says yes... which one would u follow? if these two(mind and heart) is at war, there will be NO PEACE...in loving, always these two must agree together...if not, ur decision must be NO, if u insist, be prepare for the daily struggle that u will experience..

life is waiting ahead of u, welcoming u with open arms, w/a promise of a happier, and fantastic life... at ur age, the gate of opportunity is widely open to accept u, and better guys worthy of ur trust are there for u to choose... make up ur mind?   Look Ahead and be ambitious to find a man that can love you in a real sense, and able to keep that love entrusted in his hands...good day

Answer 2

Well if you love him it should not matter. I have been married for a year. But I dated my wife for 7 years with a 9 month break in 02. If I would have gotten someone pregnant which could have happened it would not of change how she felt for me.  

Answer 3

So, look at the facts.  Your boyfriend has a child who he should have visitation with and pay child support for.  Does this affect you?  Not really because he is just your boyfriend.  Now, if you stay together and get married - yes, it affects you and changes your life.

  The real issue seems to be  if he can be trusted.  He went out with someone and within a month was sexually active?  Really?  The things you should be concerned for are really bigger than that - like for your own health - maybe you should look into that.  

  What do you want?  You are only 17.  You have your senior year of high school ahead of you - lots of fun times coming up.  Keep your life simple and sweet while you can.  It just gets naturally complicated as you get older.  These should be more carefree times for you.  There are a billion guys out there - you will only meet a small percentage of that - but do you want to be free to have choices?  I thought so.  After high school, you will have college - another very fun time.  You have so much to do, see, learn, and be joyful about.  Don't let that be taken away from you by someone else's problems.

  I know you are in love, but you will love again.  Have hope.

Answer 4

girl many guys can pretend as they love u....u have to firstly ask yourself that "if he real loves you, How can he have s*x with another girl?"......so girl all i can say is that if you want to have a good life, just try to drop him, even thou you love, u will be fine after some time......just try to get someone else......i'm telling u, if he is having a baby with that girl thair relationship....it will never come to an end, because of their baby!!!

Answer 5

he is now a packaged deal.

If you are going to be with him in the future, you will have to accept the fact that he has a child , and the child may or may not be a large part of his life.