What should i do if my dads side has a big family, and my husband to mother has a big family,,?

Question

My dad has 17 brother and sister,,,,who know how many cousins i have ,, and the same for my boyfriend mothers side,,,, my mom has a small family and so does his dads side,,,,,,,,,,,we don't want a big wedding cause we really cant afford it,,,,,,,how many should we invited to the wedding?? not to mention our friends that want to come............!please help

Answer 1

How you can know now what your financial situation will be in three years?

That said, closer to the wedding (more like a year out when you’re actually booking venues and such) talk to your parents about your guest list and see what sort of compromise can be worked out.

Answer 2

Hi

It's your wedding so you make the decision

But inpt thing is that if you don't call one, don't call all

If not one find out yuo miss them out, you will be in triouble

may be you can try all by an informal buffet setting reception type

the KEY immediate family then go for wedding ceremony

Answer 3

Invite the ones who you feel you are really close too. Invite your aunts and uncles and invite the cousins who your close with. Don't bother inviting your cousins kids, the list would really add up.

Answer 4

Have a destination wedding w/ parents only. Then have a huge potluck BBQ to announce it to the rest of the family.That way everyone helps & everyone can come.

Answer 5

Well talk toy our parents about who is a "have to" and who you can skip over like family they hardly talk to or dont get along with.  Tell tehm you want it small so cuts wherever possible

Answer 6

I say invite whomever you would like to share this life changing experience with.  You say that you don't want a big wedding because you can't afford it.  Well there's lots of ways that you can cut your expenses.  Check out Martha Stewarts wedding books.  She's got a great assortment of ideas.  Or go to the library and gather ideas.  Where there's a will there's a way.  You could plan your wedding ceremony for 11:00 a.m. and serve fruit and punch (cheap) of course your wedding cake. But you can make so many cute things out of fruit.  You did not state what time of the year that you were planning on getting married.  There's just a few suggestions for you .  congrats on the up coming marriage.  Good Luck!

Answer 7

your getting married around the same time i am well i hope your saving now! but ayways why dont you invite all you can and instead of having a sit down dinner have cotails in appetizers such as buffalo wings, pin wheel sandwiches,fruit and veggie trays

Answer 8

I know how the big family thing is, My mom is one of 17, my dad is one of 10. My mother-in-law is one of 12 and my father-in-law is one of 10. Plus we had numerous family friends as well as our friends. We were lucky enough that my parents paid for the wedding so we didnt have to worry about cutting down numbers, but if I were in that situation I think that I would either

1)Have a small private ceremony and have an informal reception where you could maybe do a potluck reception.

2)Depending on how close you are to some family members you maybe could still invite them all and have a few of the ones that you are closer to help you make the food yourself

3)Have an afternoon wedding so you can invite everyone and just have some small snacks

4)Decide where to cut and cut some guests out like stop at aunts and uncles or just invite the ones that you are closest to

Good luck hope you have a wonderful wedding!

Answer 9

There is a couple ways you can cut the number of people down.

1. Only invite relatives up to a certain point. For example, maybe you decide to stop at aunts and uncles, then you wouldn't invite the huge slew of cousins that you have.

2. Only invite relatives you know well.

3. Or a combination of the two, maybe you stop at aunts and uncles but still invite the 2 or 3 cousins that you know really well.  

Answer 10

Could you afford to invite all of your aunts and uncles and your friends? Just include on the invitation, that you want it to be an intimate ceremony, and that you will have sort of a reception picnic (inexpensive, fun) to accomodate those who you could not invite to the wedding. Be sure to follow up at some point, even months down the road, with a random wedding picnic. You'll still get gifts, and all you would have to provide is burgers and potato salad! =]

Answer 11

That's rough! I have the same problem! This will be my first wedding and my fiancee's second...so cutting down on his side will be easy, but my family is huge and I have like a $5K budget!!! We started by cutting out those family members who we only see maybe once a year (I see my friends more than that!) and we managed to get the guest list from 250 to 120! There is still some more cutting to do, but the best way is to limit the people to people that you see more than twice a year.