What should i do? what do you think???????????

Question

ok... here's the deal..i am pretty certain that i am pregnant. i took a test and it was most definitely positive, plus i am late and had unprotected s*x,etc...i am not here to ask am i pregnant. what i want to know is should i tell my mom? i am a legal consenting adult who is in a bit a tangled web of legal issues and such. long story short, i am uncertain as to if i am going to have a place to call home much longer, my bf might be going to prison for something he had nothing to do with(very complicated situation there), and his dad is pretty much going to spend the rest of his life in jail. i don't want to bring a kid into this situation, and due to all the uncertainities in my life, i have decided not to bring another person into this complicated situation. my bf and i have discussed this til we are blue in the face and feel it is our best option. i don't want any rude comments telling me what i have decided to do is wrong because i am totally against abortion...but in this situation i feel it is the best option. we have decided to tell his dad about it since we felt he should know and plus he confirmed our decision was the best one. however, now my bf is asking me why i haven't told my mom. i just don't want to deal the hassle and i know how bad she wants grandkids. i promised him i wouldn't tell anyone about it..but now he's asking me to tell my mom. i just don't want another hassle to deal with as my life is plenty stressful enough...what should i do???

prior to my finding out that i am pregnant...my mom and i have talked "hypothetically" about this situation and she agreeed with me then that it would be best not to have a child in this situation. and i do agree that there are some situations that abortion is the only answer...and quite frankly i don't think that i could have a child and then give it up for adoption. i do however, feel abortion is "wrong" and it is "killing" but my situation is a difficult one to understand. i don't want to raise a child without a family, no place to live, etc. it's not fair to myself, the child's father, nor the child. i just can't see that happening right now. i know how hard it will be physically, emotionally, and spiritually to go thru with an abortion and while no one is ever ready for that, i am about as ready as i will ever be.

Answer 1

To me if you don't believe in abortion or at least don't like the idea of it don't do it. You may think it is the right decision for you now but think about 5 years from now when your baby would be going to school or 16 years when the would be getting there license. It maybe really hard to deal with.

Perhaps adoption is the way to go.

Also your mom maybe angry and livid with you but if she wants a grand baby really bad maybe she would be willing to raise the baby or at least help raise it until you get your situation sorted out.

I know that is probably not what you want to hear and take it for what its worth.

Good luck to you

Answer 2

If you're a legal adult 18+ then you don't have to tell your mom, it's up to you. Only you know what's best for your situation but please think long & hard about this. I had an abortion 15 years ago and have constantly wondered if it would have been a boy or girl and always thought about what age the child would have been at this time. I know adoption would be really difficult but it's the most selfless and loving option. I regret having an abortion. It was only at 6 weeks and there were no complications, and I never thought it would bother me so much, but now in my 30's I finally have a loving, stable husband and great life and couldn't get pregnant. For a long time I cried thinking God was punishing me for what I did. I mean I know that doesn't make sense... I had one abortion - my husband's ex wife had FIVE and never had probs getting pregnant and now has 2 kids, but we don't know how HE works. I felt like it was my punishment for what I'd done and I should have kept the child. At the time there was no talking me out of it (plus bf at the time freaked and wanted me to get rid of it, and I was in a bad situation like you, he was an unemployed Loser big time), but looking back I have regretted it so many times. Think about it carefully b/c whatever you decide will be irreversible. Take care :)  

Answer 3

heres the thing. tell your mom. she knows your situation and should be supportive and maybe even want to adopt the child. If she flips out its understandable but its not her decision its yours. But im not going to judge you but have you thought about finding adoptive parents? Because you never know because by 9 months your life may of changed for the better or your situation is not as chaotic and then maybe you can raise the child on your own, or just give it up for adoption......good luck and god bless.

Answer 4

This is a tough call.  If you tell her and she does not agree it would be harder for you.  But it would be nice to have her support.  Sound like things are kinda tough for you right now.  I don't think I would tell her unless you need to tell her.  

Answer 5

Im a pro-life. But there really in NO POINT in ranting and raving to you. Even if i convince u NOT to get one millions of people are still getting them.. I do think abortion is the unforgivable sin. I think you need to do some serious soul searching. God wouldnt have put the baby in you for no reason. And god will not put more on u than u can handle. Not only do i think its morally wrong but it can mess you up there are so many complications that can happen have the baby give it up for adoption. If u do this ur denying the world another lovley baby. Please do some serious research before you do this! Its a life changing decision everyday your going to think about this and they baby you choose to KILL! Its also not the childs fault you had unprotected s*x is it now? What if your mother had felt it wasnt "fair"??

Answer 6

see thats something you have to decide on your own other peoples opinions you might want because your so confused about things i no that i had an abortion before and i dont belive in them eaither but the father wasnt going to be there and etc. but i got the abortion and i no it was the right thing to do but still to this day i wish i never did that i think back if i can go back to that day i would have never done it , it messes up your head well it did mine . well just make sure its what you want and you want only noone els . g00d luck!!!

Answer 7

sounds to me like your mind is already made up so I don't even see why you bothered writing all that stuff. but since you're asking opinions I don't get how you say you can't give the child up for adoption and you think it's best to kill it.If you have no qualms about killing it then what would be so hard about giving it to someone that would love it.I think that you are very selfish all you could say was your problems and troubles but you got your self in this situation and now you want to kill your little baby because it doesn't fit in to your plans and you are to selfish to let it live and give it to a family that would love and care for it .

Answer 8

I was in a similar situation as you. Yet, I already had one child and I didn't know how in the world I could handle another child not knowing whether dad was going to be there. I, as you are against abortion and I though it was my only option. Yet the more research I did, the more I realized that I would not be able to live with myself if I gave up this life inside me. Now I have the most beautiful one year old baby girl and she fills my heart and mind with joy. Daddy there or not, she is mine and I regret ever even thinking about getting rid of her. I have hard many hard times. I lived with the father of my children for 3 years until he kicked me to the curve and I had no where for me or my kids to go, but we made it and we are doing fine. I don't know whether you believe in God or not, but I was always taught that he never gives you more than you can bear. Give the baby a chance to live. Every child is a blessing. And if you are not strong enough to give the baby up, then somewhere in your heart you care about this child more than you know. And if it is "not fair"  than suck it up. No child asks to be born, but its not their fault. Why kill innocence?

Answer 9

don't tell your mom if you're going to get rid of it...what's the point in that? her support? why not adoption? if you really think about how many women want kids and can't have them, it's sad.