What should i have done??? (LONG) Please answer!?

Question

Im 16 and female. I was babysitting my cousins the other night, all girls...twins aged 5 (Maria & Grace) and 9 year old (Carly). Im not a wonderful role-model atall as you would find out if you read some of my other posts about me & my stepmom, Michelle! Normally the twins are a nightmare and Carly will help me with them...but the other night was h**l! I invited my boyfriend over whilst i babysat which i don't normally do and we cuddled up on the couch. Maria & Grace played nicely with their doll house and Carly was such a pain! The twins cuddled up later before i put them to bed at 8pm and thats when all h**l broke loose! Carly took my cell off my bed & deleted everything before coming downstairs and throwing it at me. I had been playing with her all night so it wasnt like i hadnt given her much attention but then i told her she would go straight up to bed if she didnt behave so she started screaming at me & slapped my face. I took her upstairs by the wrist and told her to stop behaving like a little kid. I told her to get into bed and i shut the door. 10 minutes later she came down again shouting all the odds and began cursing at me. I know she has learnt most of the curse words off me but i couldnt let her carry on so i put her in time out which i had to take her back to 6 times but in the end she completed her 15 minutes. I took her upstairs and after she had had a bath, i put her to bed. Once she was in bed she turned over to face me and said 'i'm sorry for acting naughty Lou.' I told her i love her, gave her a hug and went downstairs.

Im really worried that the twins will start picking up the curse words from me and Carly even more than they have now. They already do a bit & i try not to curse around them but i don't know how to stop Carly. My Auntie has the same trouble. How can i stop Carly and what should i have done when she acted up whilst i was babysitting?

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Answer 1

well, she is probably copying off of you because she looks up to you. which is fine. however, mabey explain to her that you shouldn't talk like that because it isn't very mature. don't make her think you are telling her this to get her to stop, instead make it sound as though you have made the mistake. (which in a way, you have) there is nothing you can do about your aunt. she is an adult and she should teach her kids, "do as i say and not as i do". i let words slip in front of my kids periodically, but they never repeat them because they know better. mabey set up a pact with her. make it a game. and try not to cuss in front of her definitely, and more importantly in front of the younger ones. she being 10, is very impressionable. as far as the way she acted, you did pretty well, being a babysitter. i know the sitters i have had would have called if something that bad had happened, she was acting out pretty stongly. it just reinforces my comment earlier about her looking up to you. she was probably jelous that you were not giving her the attention. it might be a good idea to limit your boyfriend being there until after she falls asleep. i think you did pretty well, and remember that when you are someones role model, that should give you a bigger reason to act accordingly.

Answer 2

we all need to remember that little kids pick up on everything that we do...words and actions.

carly might not want to play with her younger sisters rather she looks up to you and this was a time for you to hang out.

you are right that you shouldn't have had your bf come over.  

I would just try to watch what you say around them and maybe talk to her and let her know that those words are not nice to say and when she says "well you say them" let her know that you are trying to show her to expand her vocabulary.

Answer 3

I think you did the right thing. It seems like she learnt her lesson. If you hear her using curse words again, you should encourage her not to as it is very un-ladylike, sets a bad example to her younger sisters and would make her parents very upset and angry to hear them.

Answer 4

As hard as it was, you pretty much acted appropriately.  There is no quick fix for Carly but it really isn't your responsibility.  Yes, you should be responsible for yourself and actions but it's your Aunt's place to make sure her children learn proper behavior/language.

Answer 5

First, I'd say you should have payed attention to the kids all night, in stead of inviting your boyfriend over. Babysitting is a job, just like any other. Your significant other should not be hanging out there.

That being said, I had a problem with my son cursing when I wasn't around. He most definitely learned it from me and my brothers. I sat him down and had a long talk about 'Just because you hear it, doesn't mean it's alright to say.' Kids are going to hear the stuff, either from friends, adults or teenagers that they might be exposed to. He certainly never said it around me, and NEVER said it to me. In my opinion, the kids you watch are probably saying it to you because, though you may be the babysitter, you're not the parent. Perhaps you can sit her down next time you watch her and tell her how hurtful those words are, and that you try not to use them, but sometimes they slip out. The cell phone thing might have been her acting out for attention as well. Bummer she was smart enough to delete all your phone info.