What should i tell my mom....???

Question

Ok so my mom is getting remarried to this complete jerk to me and she is completely head over heels about him... the wedding is really close and i have never told her my real feelings about him... what do i do/say without breaking her heart?

Answer 1

I've learned from experience that nobody ever wants to hear what a loser their chosen partner really is.  If he's as much a jerk as you say, she'll find out sooner or later.  Nothing you can say now will make any difference.  

Keep your opinions about The Jerk to yourself or vent to a trusted friend.

Answer 2

TELL HER!!!i know from experience

Answer 3

i think that you should speak with her about the situation so that she can gain an understanding of the emotions tht you have about her relationship with your soon to be step-dad.... talking to her will open up a line of communication tht you all maybe lacked before, she will respect you more for sharing it with her now, than she will when you all start having negative experiences because of the mutual feelings tht you all towards one another

Answer 4

There isn't a terrible amount of detail here... but heres the real deal. If you haven't told your mom about your true feelings about this man in whatever time period there is from meeting-dating-engagement, you've kind of missed the boat. It really depends on how severe of a "jerk" he is.... is he the "get drunk and cheat on her/beat her/ beat you" kind of jerk...or the " you can't borrow my car because your 17" kind of jerk... If this is something serious I would reccomend pulling her aside and gently pleading your case...but if its just a matter of personalities clashing its a little late to bring it all up. Likely you will just make her feel a tremendous amount of guilt and she'll marry him anyway... I'd bite my tongue if its not something major.

Answer 5

Well...  I'm going to assume that you're over the age of 17 with my answer.

Ultimately--it's not your decision.  You don't get a say in who she marries, unfortunately.

You do, however, have the right to tell your mother how you feel.  You want to be careful, though, because the chances of her breaking off her engagement with your soon to be step-father is slim.  You don't want to burn that bridge between the two of you--because later, you might want to grin and bear it and perhaps even work on a relationship.

I think you should think long and hard about what you have to say.  The best advice I've ever received about giving people the hard truth is to prepare for them to respond.  When thinking about what you're saying, think of how you want your mother to react.  

Tell her that you love her very much but you're not so sure about her current choice for a groom.  Tell her that your concerned and that he might not be the right one for her and you'd hate to see her unhappy.

If nothing else, this will at least provide reassurance in your heart that she's happy.

And if it ends badly, don't say "told you so."  Just hug your mom.

Answer 6

How old are you? In order to get the best advice on this one knowing if you are a child, teen or adult is really important.

Answer 7

1st rule...be gentle.

2nd rule...start every criticism with "my opinion is"

3rd rule...make sure you emphasize that her happiness is most important to you.

4th rule...she may listen, but don't expect her to change her plans. Period.