What should my brother do to get out of this trouble of sending a series of offensive anynomous emails?

Question

My brother is suffering from some depression and frustrations and is subjected to an anti-depressant as well as a counselling treatment. His problem is that whenever someone annoys him, he sends them anynomous emails from his laptop at home to express his anger and frustration. Recently, some students in the university in which he studies who don't like him reported him to the dean of school as causing them great distress and harassment. He has a formal meeting with the dean (who has already informed the police) soon the result of which might be referring the cause to desciplinary hearing. He is frightened since then: can't eat or sleep well or practice any normal life activity coz he's terrified that he might be suspended from the university. In the formal meeting, which is the best thing to do? Should he deny writing such anynomous emails? In this case, will this be discovered? What the university might do with him if it is discovered that he was lying? Should he tell the truth explaining the stresses he went through and how he was a victim of many dirty games made by his group which hates him? Should he concentrate on his over-sensitivity and nature and how it was difficult for him to learn what people say about him or receive emails from them without replying, even anynomously? Should he tell them about his depression and frustrations hoping that they will consider this? I'm really worried about my brother who has been extremely anxious feeling that his academic future is in danger. I'll appreciate it if you read my enquiries carefully and give a detailed advice in light of the points I raised. Serious answers please.

Answer 1

It does not matter if there is like/dislike about the persons.. if he did send the emails, he was in the wrong.  To attempt to lie, would be extremely wrong.  

My HONEST answer is that there is more than depression, perhaps bipolar.  I am hearing you mention what could be paranoid ("everyone dislikes him"), and anger, with very little judgement used.  You are right to be concerned, when someone does something so severe that it threatens his college, and maybe police charges. Severe lack of judgement and risky behavior are part of bipolar. The same is true of someone who is far too sensitive to being a "victim".  

Also.. persons with bipolar are OFTEN UNAWARE of all the behaviors, which to them, seem valid. He may only have told the counselor about being depressed, but I see other issues in what you describe. In fact, he may be on a medication that conflicts, and is not the best for him. Antidepressants are not suggested for persons who may be bipolar.

He has no choice but to be honest, but attempt to apologize. If he trusts you, you may want to ask if he will let you speak with his doctor.  

Answer 2

OK I take it that this is in the US and your brother is in a residential college somewhere.

Firstly there is no such thing as an anonymous email. They are traceable through international channels so they are going to be easily traceable through the college intranet service. For instance you can trace an email sent from the US to Australia and vis a visa.

Brother had better tell the truth and say he sent angry emails. Sending angry emails is a bad ideal at the best of times. It is also illegal in most jurisdictions if you use foul language and make evil threats etc. He will only bury himself in more legal trouble if he lies - besides it is morally wrong to lie - we all know that.

Your brother should not have bitten and sent the angry emails back to these guys. It is probably just what they have wanted for an excuse to get him off campus.

Your brother needs to get a medical exemption if he can from being prosecuted. This is not intended to be legal advice and nor should it be relied upon as such. I'm sure you won't I'm not American. I would suggest that he see a qualified lawyer. That way he will get a proper idea of his full legal entitlements given the circumstances which seem to be loaded against him. He needs to do this before he sees the dean and before the matter goes before the disciplinary hearing.

Your brothers' solicitor should write up an explanation of the circumstances surrounding the events and an admission that he did write the emails but explaining the fact that they were a response to intense harassment - he was depressed - this had gone on for some time - include the length of time - the intensity and nature of harassment - language used - type of threats etc don't omit any detail that you think will help you.

Also the submission should be accompanied my a medical certificate from a general practitioner and/or the therapist who is treating him for depression explaining how this problem has caused him to react the way he did. This may cause the disciplinary committee to look favourably on his case short - term. It may also cause them to speak to the people who complained about his sending the emails in the first place. The disciplinary committee should know that your brother is being harassed by these guys.

Your brother should not rely on anonymity in order to get his message across to these people. He should have the maturity and self-respect to state his case politely but firmly. Having done this he should then hold his peace and if they send him further abusive emails just delete them and not reply or if he wants too - keep them as evidence that he is the one receiving abusive emails and not sending them anymore. Under no circumstances should your brother continue to reply to these offensive emails.

If your brother is on anti - depressants and having counselling perhaps he is living in the wrong environment in the first place. After this matter is resolved - if it can be - it would be worth his while considering another place of residence and if he can get credits for any units/subjects that he has passed - another university. This would get him away from the adverse environment and company that is making his life so difficult even if it doesn't cure his medical condition.

It may also be best if he bows out voluntarily rather than have expulsion from a university against his record for the rest of his life when he is only partly responsible. He is responsible is the way the he responded to the emails. He is not responsible for the abuse that he has had directed at him - or at least that is the way I see it. It can be hard though. These things start as a cycle of internet violence and are sometimes very difficult to stop. Your brother also needs to change all of his email addresses so that he doesn't continue to get these angry emails.

I wish you all well in what is a difficult matter for your family and I hope that it all works out well in time.

Regards Bella Rose!!!

Answer 3

He might as well be a man for once and admit his guilt, as it is a simple procedure to trace the emails back to his IP address

Answer 4

let's start first by understanding that no e-mail is truly anonymous unless he went to great lengths to hide his IP address by use of sophisticated hacking/software...which I doubt...

in the header of any e-mail, there is a number, that can trace right back to his computer, every time, even if he uses fake e-mail addresses...it's a digital signature so to speak. So the University already knows he did it.

He has every reason to be concerned, and I suggest he be 100% honest about his reasons for lashing out - including any harassment he suffered prior to his misdeeds - but bear in mind he has to be able to prove it - or at least try. Above all, he needs to be truly remorseful and apologetic - and never fall back into the behavior again.

If he still has the e-mails that got him so upset in the first place he may want to bring copies with, just in case the parties who complained did not provide exactly what was said on their end.

He is an adult now, Childish behavior has consequences.  

Answer 5

Deny it. That was why he stayed anonymous in the first place, so he could say his crazy sh*t without consequences.

Oh, and he should stop doing that. It's just really really really lame. Either you confront people or you don't, either is OK, but don't send anonymous emails like a p***y...