What should my brother do to get out of this trouble of sending this anynomous email?

Question

My brother is suffering from some depression and frustrations and is subjected to an anti-depressant as well as a counselling treatment. His problem is that whenever someone annoys him, he sends them anynomous emails from his laptop at home to express his anger and frustration. Recently, some students in the university in which he studies who don't like him reported him to the dean of school as causing them great distress and harassment. He has a formal meeting with the dean (who has already informed the police) soon the result of which might be referring the cause to desciplinary hearing. He is frightened since then: can't eat or sleep well or practice any normal life activity coz he's terrified that he might be suspended from the university. In the formal meeting, which is the best thing to do? Should he deny writing such anynomous emails? In this case, will this be discovered? What the university might do with him if it is discovered that he was lying? Should he tell the truth explaining the stresses he went through and how he was a victim of many dirty games made by his group which hates him? Should he concentrate on his over-sensitivity and nature and how it was difficult for him to learn what people say about him or receive emails from them without replying, even anynomously? Should he tell them about his depression and frustrations hoping that they will consider this? I'm really worried about my brother who has been extremely anxious feeling that his academic future is in danger. I'll appreciate it if you read my enquiries carefully and give a detailed advice in light of the points I raised. Serious answers please.

Answer 1

"Should he tell the truth explaining the stresses he went through and how he was a victim of many dirty games made by his group which hates him?"

Absolutely, he should be honest.

"Should he tell them about his depression and frustrations hoping that they will consider this?"

I think he should tell them but it is of course at his own discretion since it is his medical history.  If a doctor has diagnosed him with any sort of depression or such, it is now an official medical diagnosis vs. just a personal problem.

All in all...honesty is the best way to go about everything.  It may not always turn out in your favor but your conscious is clear.  It's better to have all of the facts laid out so the best decision can be made.  

He really needs to make an effort to get his medical problem under control though.  It takes time and some major frustration sometimes but the right amount of medication, counseling, combination of things, etc. can work in his favor in the long run.  I'm not saying he hasn't already done all of this, so if he has then keep continuing and great job.  If he hasn't, tomorrow is a good day to start.

Answer 2

I'm sorry for your brother and the trouble he's in. Unfortunately, this situation was handled poorly and that's why it has now arrived at a regrettable junction. But the way I see it, this may just be an opportunity to seek the desired solution.

Let's see things for what they seem to be first. There's a very important piece of information that you're omitting here and that you don't go into detail, which is the actual content of the emails your brother wrote. If they are of the life threatening kind, in which he's targeting individuals, etc, he's going to have to face up since this is considered a serious offense and most institutions will not take them lightly. Lying about writing such emails would without a doubt be, the most potentially damaging and wrong thing to do. Any proof of him writing them and he would lose all credibility as a trustworthy and functioning individual.

As far as a possible solution goes, I'm afraid your brother will have to be professionally evaluated to establish whether or not he might be an actual/potential threat to the safety of others. Again, keep in mind that I can only go by my observations and based on the fact that there will be a meeting with the dean of the school. It's clear to me that this wouldn't be happening if the contents of your brother's emails could have been discarded as nothing to worry about, and had not instead raised serious concerns.

The one thing in your brother's favor is that he has been undergoing treatment. Like I said, the thing that brought all of this to the school's attention is the unfortunate way in which your brother chose to handle the situation. This is what's very much a concern and in question right now regarding him, who/what they're dealing with, etc.. So, there's no question that he will have to fully admit to extremely bad judgment on his part to clearly demonstrate that this was a very unfortunate lapse and that he sees now that his actions were clearly wrong. And that although (let's not forget) originally prompted by the actions of the others involved, he knows/understands his reaction was excessive (not help thanks by the condition of anonymity) and no help but most likely aggravated, by the condition for which he's undergoing treatment.  

A good thing to do would be to show his willingness to stop all possibility of any further trouble by suggesting a solution of his own. Like asking to please be transferred away from the people who initiated the "annoyance" and got him in trouble in the first place. This way he'll show his studies as being a priority to him and the one thing he considers important for his life and future. A willingness to enter into a binding written or contractual agreement to complete his studies in peace with the added promise oif staying away from any possibility of any future conflicts.

If this is his first time doing something like this, and he goes well prepared to his meeting, I believe he could come out renewed and successful. But he must believe in himself also, and show his willingness to start a new period in his life.

I wished him the best and hope that he looks at this incident as an opportunity to put into action what it seems to be his honest and genuine desire, which is to create positive changes in his life. Not to mention that if he accomplishes this, he would  significantly succeed in eliminating the possible sources of stress, frustration and depression for which he is treatment for in the first place.