What should she do?(please answer)

Question

this is a question for a friedn.

she's 17 and had a baby 2 years ago. when the baby was 3-1/2 months old she left the baby with the father and hasn't seen her since. she talked with her ex afew days ago and now she hats mising out on so much of the babies life. she wants to be part of the babies life agin. how can she tell her ex she want's to be a part of the babies life agin?

Answer 1

If she wasn't ready to have a baby, at least she did the right thing by letting him/her live with their dad. It's not our place to judge what she has done, at the time it was her decision to make and I'm sure it was a hard one. It's a shame she didn't stay in contact, but now she wants to be a part of the baby's life she needs to sit down and talk things through with the father. He will probably worry that she will walk away again and she'll need to prove to him that she won't. It's not fair on the baby if she isn't fully committed to being a good mother. She also will need to understand that the baby's father may be scared she'll try and gain full custody of the baby at some point. I think this would be very unfair on both the baby and the father as he has brought him/her up since they were tiny. I think the best thing she can do is be completely honest about how she feels and what she wants, and reassure the father that she is not going to let the baby down or try and take the baby from him. They both need to do whats best for the baby, and eventually the baby will want to know who it's mother is. Good luck to your friend.

Answer 2

Wow nice mom shouldn't have spread her legs if she was going to be a crappy parent. Just tell him I guess...I don't have kids but I can't imagine doing something so pathetic.

Answer 3

Your friend was very young when the baby was born and is still very young.  She is a minor herself.  First, she should try to connect with a social worker for advice, legal assistance, and support. If she is going to be responsible and consistent, then the baby has a right to know her.  There may be some legal issues - don't know - but she may have lost her legal rights due to abandonment.  If not, and she is really changed and ready to try to correct all the mistrust and pain that she has caused, then she says, "I'm sorry. I was wrong.  ...explanation, explanation...I know you will have a hard time trusting me, but I am committed to becoming the mother for my child.  I know I will have to earn your trust and prove myself, but my child should know her mother.  I will be a great mother for her, etc"  If she doesn't mean these things, she should not do this.;  Then, outline her plan for visitation, employment, childcare when she visits, etc. She cannot be wishy-washy.  The baby needs stability and to not feel rejected.  Your friend should realize that it's going to take a lot of time to reverse what she has done.  She should set up a support circle, including her family, pastors, and professional counseling.  This is a serious issue.  The girl is only 17 and needs support even if she had not abandoned the baby.

Answer 4

call her ex and say that she want to be a part on the baby's life again. ? ;))

Answer 5

In my opinion, I think she should just make contact with the Father, explain that she is feeling a mistake was made on her part and she would like to become involved in the Childs life. Hopefully he will understand and allow it for the Childs beneifit, it is very important for the Child to have the influence of both Mother and Father and the Childs best interest should always come first. I am not sure, she may have parental rights through the Courts if that is necessary as a last resort. She needs to be sure she is up to the responsibility of becoming a part of the Childs life and know she can stay the duration, a come and then go situation would be hard on the Child.

Answer 6

she was confused i agree with that.

if i was in that situastion i think i would wnt to tell him bt i no it will start a fight bt is something she has to do if she wants to b back in her life.

she has alot of thinking to do b4 she goes bak to the baby cause she is young

i think she desurves a second chance defo bt she has to think about the future and that this will b her family frm nw on.

good luck hope it helps  

Answer 7

In this case its whats good for the child thats important! I think it is wonderful for the child her mums come back and will be a part of her life. We all make mistakes and deserve forgiveness and given a second chance. Hopefully she stays and does not leave again or that would be disatrous.  She need to meet with her ex without the child preset but with another person so they keep it friendly and stick to taliking about the child and not get into arguments. supervised visits to start with would be good. till the child goes willingly with mum. A lot of couples share parenting hopefully they can come to agreements.  

Answer 8

She was too young and confused, everybody deserves a second chance!