What should the parents of a pregnant fourteen year old do?

Question

Here recently a girlfriend of mine told me that her 14 year old daughter announced that she was pregnant. Needless to say that my good friend is still in shock after receiving this news flash. She would like to hear about what other parents are doing or have done in order to get themselves through this type of situation. She reads stories all of the time that are written from the teen mothers perspective, and she wonders where are the stories from the parents of a pregnant teen perspective? Can you help me to help my friend? Any information that you can provide will be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

This is a really rough time for the mother and daughter. I'm extremely close with my mother and I still am considered young to be having a baby. All the mother can do is talk to her daughter and be a helping hand through this situation. She should tell her daughter the options that she has, and what could happen with each option. Once I was pregnant I totally saw my mom in a completely different perspective, and I talk to her every single day. This has brought us so much closer even though it's not the greatest of situtations. If her daughter decides to keep the baby, she will have a lot of negative responses from the public eye just because she is so young and people are so quick to judge. Tell both the mother and daughter to stay strong and not to worry about other's opinions. I wish them both good luck.

Answer 2

I have a 12 year old daughter and two sons ages 16 & 22. If my daughter got pregnant I wouldnt be happy about it but I wouldnt force her to give the baby up or abort it. It's not the babies fault. The baby would still be my grandchild (born now or 10 years from now). She's going to go throught enough just having this baby and raising it. I would however make sure that she took care of this baby,stayed in school and learned to be the kind of parent that the baby deserved. I hope this helps if just a little. I guess you really never know how you would feel unless it's happened to you. I wish them the best and you as well, you sound like a good friend. Good Luck !

Answer 3

I would make her have the baby becuase personally i think abortions are wrong and it would teach her a lesson. Find a good family that will adopt the baby. But she should punish her. be supportive tho. Tell her that she should have know better and they are really disapointed but they arent going to dissert her. My parents would have killed me.

Answer 4

When my mom found out my sister was pregnant. All she said was "well, you know we'll be here for you" and we all are. My mom is very anti-s*x before marriage and my sister wasn't married. Now that my sister is 5 months pregnant when someone says something to imply that she's a ****. My mom flips out.  

Answer 5

I've never been in this situation, but my husband and I have talked about it before.  After a massive tongue-lashing about how stupid it is to be 14 and having s*x, we'd offer her as much help as we could.  I'm sure she'd be scared and embarrassed and need love and support more than ridicule and disrespect.  It's going to be a long, hard road for her.  

I wish your friend the best of luck.  I hope she can remain calm and cool and deal with things as they come her way.

Answer 6

well first of all dont make her have an abortion if she dont wont to and help her through it. and mabe she will learn from her mistakes  

Answer 7

This site has alot of good information for parents of pregnant teens. It also has a few stories on mothers who's children where pregnant at a young age. It does not discuss abortion though.

http://www.childrenfirst.nhs.uk/families...

If you want to know more about abortion and birth control try

http://www.teenwire.com/ (this site is directed at teens but has plenty of good information.)

This also is a good time to address birth control and safe s*x as she apparently needs more education in these matters.

Answer 8

I agree with the advice to allow your teen to keep the baby and take on most or all of the responsibility for raising the baby.  Our culture tends to underestimate the capabilities of teens.  In other times and countries, young women were/are getting married and having babies at this age.  Her lack of self control (i.e. getting pregnant) may indicate that she is not an overly mature 14-year-old, but allow this experience to help mature her.  

Answer 9

She should take her to a family planning clinic to discuss her options, and give her all the support and help she needs.

Answer 10

dont force her to do something she deosnt want to do let her have the baby if she wants to let her have an abortion if she wants to its all based on what the girl wants

Answer 11

For the record I'm not a parent, I'm only 17, but here's my opinion:

The parents should discuss all the options and support whatever option she chooses. Punishing her, kicking her out, or making her get an abortion will not solve anything. Good luck to your friend and her daughter.

Answer 12

dont have an abortion, if she didnt want a kid she should have kept her legs closed

Answer 13

I got pregnant at 15 and I'm 21 now . But now my parents say they don't know what they would do without their gran daughter . And I grew up alot from it and actually married the guy and hes in the navy and were doing great . They need to try and get past the past and think about the futher and that alot of blessing come in disquises . Tell her my mom would tell her now she would go back and change anything for the world because during that time in my life me and my mom became best friends . :) Good luck  

Answer 14

Encourage her to have an abortion I should think.

Answer 15

As I am from a couple who is battling infertility and would love to adopt, i think the best option would be adoption for this family.  At 14 will the girl really want to be a mom and spend the time a child takes?  WIll the grandmother (your friend) really want to raise another baby?  I guess it's up to them, but i would think adoption is the best option.

Answer 16

If she was my daughter, I'd help her but after I wooped her a#s.

Answer 17

well im about her daughters age and tell her that this is going to be the worst and most difficult part of her life, so dont kick her out or anything becuase she really needs her mothers support. let her do what she wants with the baby, its her mistake she needs to make her own decision. let her know that if she chooses to get an abortion then she might not be able to have kids in the future. just help her through this, but dont do it for her. she needs to get herself out of this mess. just be as loving as you can, she already knows that she ****ed up.

Answer 18

support her in what ever se wanted to do

Answer 19

their daughter is going to be going through a hard time. this situation is one that really defines being a parent. they should be there for here, she's going to need their help. its hard to go through being a teen mom. If she decides that she wants to have an abortion then they should be there for her because she just made the difficult choice that not many people can handle alone.

Answer 20

I think u shld let her hav the baby and keep it and make her take all the responibility dnt let her push it off on u but still every thing happens 4 a reason so keep n mind this child is NO mistake!

Hope I helped! :)

Answer 21

you need to suggest an abortion to your friend and her daughter. motherhood is not fun unless someone is fully prepared. It will be totally embarassing for the daughter to go to school being pregnant and all ad it will ruin her life. she wont be able to go to school ( unless the mom of the 14 year old takes care of the baby). And very likely, the father won't be in the life of the teen's child, because boys at 14 or so don't have money, don't care, and are irresponsable- as has been demonstrated with the pregnating of the teen and no use of condoms- teens shouldnt be even doing that!. I think its horrible that a child shall live being raised by her grandmother or his/her mother who is uneducated- (won't have a job) and no father.

here's a link to a very informing website on abortion

http://women.webmd.com/tc/abortion-reaso...

please be sure to check out "Choices: Medical Abortion", and "Choices: Surgical Abortion" on the right hand menu- send this to your friend!

if abortion isn't right for you, then maybe the child can find a couple who is finacially and emotionally ready for a baby and want a child and are open to adoption.

if the teen/ and or your friend haven't seen the movie "Juno" starring ellen page alrready, its a good reference.  Though the movie makes pregnancy seem easy, it's not.

hope that helps your friend and her daughter makethe right descision!

Answer 22

Ok first you should have the mother talk about it with her daughter and help her with the steps of pregnancy.. If the daughter doesn't want an abortion don't make her have one. And if she does encourage her not to because she needs to face the consequences, and she should have been more careful.. It's not the "baby's fault" so why punish her/him. If she really doesnt want the baby then suggest adoption to give the baby to some one who actully wants a baby and can not have one... or the mother should addopt...

-this is coming from a teen's point of view