What should we be asking peopel who want to adopt and what questions are not important/neccessary?

Question

For example: From reading answers to some questions, I would assume that a large percentage of people would say that income is not a question that should be considered. I gather that from reading answers that basically say, "Even though you have no job (or a low paying one) you should keep your baby because love is important."

Again, with most of my questions I am seeking opinions and viewpoints and am not trying to judge. When considering adoption reform, these are the questions that come to my mind that can not be answered by anyone who doesn't have some form of adoption experience.

Answer 1

Of course finances are important for either a birthparent or adoptive parent considering parenting.  It is a fact that it takes a certain amount of stability and financial resources to properly care for a child.  To say otherwise would be foolish.

But I am not sure what your question is......Are you asking if  birthparents shouldn't consider their finances or adoptive parents shouldn't?  Obviously, both should seriously consider their financial stability.  Children cannot wait.  They have needs from day one, and those needs continue everyday.

Answer 2

I don't know, the home study we went through was very intensive.   And in all honesty, there wasn't too much i thought was irrelavant.     The only thing i would like to see is more after support.     We really needed councilling about a year into the process.   The kids had issues coming up that we weren't prepared to deal with, and we felt very alone.    Social services even went as far as to tell us "ah, that' just kid stuff, you need to reframe it, remember, they have a life before you that was difficult."      Well, yes , we know that, and we are asking for help to deal with it.    That's my beef.

Answer 3

Ah but here lies the dilema.  Income is not considered in birth parents ability to parent but it is darn tootin important in adoption, you have to do an entire financial spreadsheet for them.  So is money really important?  I guess it depends who you are talking to.

Answer 4

Important:  Stability including but not limited to job stability, mental and physical stability; stable living arrangements should also be considered.

this is NOT to say that people are walking up to ask these questions and take a baby away but it is definitely something that a woman should ask herself when considering adoption.

Babies need love and nurturing but that needs to be done in a stable environment.  i can't imagine not having any money to cover my food and rent and having to live outside or in shelters during these brutal midwestern winters.  What kind of life is that for a baby?

Also Important:  Family Support.  Babies need family lovin'.  The more the better.  A single mom needs someone to count on that she can talk to or who can take the baby for a few hours to let her catch up on her rest, get herself back together, etc.  

another thing (and i'm probably going to get crucified here but *deep breath* here it goes) . . .

we are assuming that all single women have healthy babies.  What would a young gal do if she was on her own with nothing but love to offer and this child was born with some kind of defect?  Does she have the mental, physical and financial cahunas to handle this on her own?  I thank God every day that my daughter and granddaughter are healthy because i just don't know what i would've done if they weren't.  I can't imagine the extra stress that would've put on an already painfully stressful situation.

ok, there you go -- start taking bites out of me because it's going to happen

ETA:  I misread the question -- i thought it was questions a potential bmom should ask herself . . .oops

Answer 5

More evaluations need to be done to determine the potential adopter's mental and psychological ability to deal with the stresses and demands of parenting.  Being able to write a check for 30 grand does not automatically make one fit to be a parent.

Answer 6

I think that when preparing for an adoption, the adoptive parents should plan as if they were having a child of their own. Finance is important and everything should be taken into account as if having a bio child.