What should we have done, and what should we be doing?

Question

This is long, yes, and this isn't just an "I know this guy and I like him, what do I do" question, even though it seems like it for a second. So I have this friend who I am pretty close to. We only met five weeks ago (beginning of school), but we are really tight, like brother and sister. He told one of my other friends that he was cutting himself. Not on his wrist, but on his leg, right above one of the major arteries or veins (not sure which one, but one of those two). he asked her not to tell anyone, and she said that she wouldn't, because at the time, she was in shock (he is really random and happy all the time, but he did mention that he used to dress in typical "emo" wear. I never imagined that that meant he really cut himself). But in the end, the person that he told told me because she couldn't just not tell anyone. We were freaking out, because he could die if he cut too deep or too low, so we told the vice principal (the counselor was busy at the time). She said that she would talk to the counselor, who would talk to my friend. So yesterday we were able to stop freaking out, but today we were really upset about it again, because we were really worried because he was upset again. People keep saying that it isn't my fault that he is doing this and that "it isn't a big deal" and that "I shouldn't worry because it doesn't involve me", but it is a big deal and it DOES include me, so I just wanna know if we did the right thing and if there is anything else we should do.

Answer 1

You did do the right thing.  I wonder if he might feel a little betrayed, though, since he asked your friend not to tell anyone...

Answer 2

You did just about everything that you can do, so stop freaking out.  You did the right thing, going to the school counselor.  Don't worry too much about his accidently slicing an artery -- most cutters only cut superficially, and the femoral artery in the leg is pretty deep -- he'd be cutting out a LOT of skin before he got to that artery!

I don't want to say that "it isn't a big deal", because it IS a symptom of emotional problems that he has.  Most cutters cut to regain a sense of control in their life, and for a brief moment, the sensation of cutting helps them focus of the cut, not their emotional pain.  He needs professional help, and that's NOT YOU.  You're a good friend to be concerned, and he's lucky you care.  Perhaps this will be the impetus for him to get the counseling he needs.  

Answer 3

i think you guys did the EXACT right thing. you told an adult that could help. i think you guys should just talk to him and ask him why he's depressed and why he's sad and why he thinks cutting himself is the only was to vent those feelings.

i think you should give him alternate ways to express himself. get him into art. or music.

hope things turn out well =]

Answer 4

You most definitely did the right thing! If someone is cutting themself, you're right, they could die if they accidentally cut too deep. You might also suggest to him that he should see a psychologist. Because this is a serious issue. He can use other methods to get out emotional pain, try music or something. I've had lots of horrible things happen to me in my life, and I find that music and art really helps me get out my pain. Also, exercise can make me happy for some reason, and I know it's the same for other people. Some form of personal expression, any kind (besides cutting, even though that's not really personal expression, it's being a m*******t, and trying to get rid of emotional pain) would help him. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck and I'll pray for your friend.

P.S. Don't listen to what they other people are saying, they're wrong.

Answer 5

HECK yeah you just saved a life!

Answer 6

I think you did the right thing by going to someone but I don't think it should have been an school official it should have been someone who you both trust.