What should you call your child before you formally adopt them? Is it right to call them son/daughter?

Question

If you bring them home as an infant and the parental rights have been terminated but you haven't formally adopted them yet, can you still call them son or daughter?

If you think this is wrong, then what should you call them before they are formally adopted?

Answer 1

If the adoption is in process but not yet finalized, of course you can refer to them informally any way you like, but they are not legally your children at this point.  They are still under the legal (although obviously not the physical) custody of the state.  It's fine to just tell people you are in the process of adopting the child.

Answer 2

i think that if the child is still an infant why not call he/she son/daughter? if your going to love and nurture he/she why not?

Answer 3

My cousins brought home twins (boy and girl) and they were son and daughter from the moment they first held them (even before really).

There is nothing wrong with calling them son or daughter and will help the family to adapt to the new situation.

The formal adoption process can take some time, so I wouldn't advise waiting! (In their case 9 months)

Good luck!

Answer 4

Yes of course you can call them your son or daughter even if the adoption is not completely finalized.  The biological parents rights have been terminated. You are adopting the child its just not been finalized yet, which in some cases can take a few months.  If there is risk the birthparents might reclaim but you used terminated that more seems that their rights were stripped of them.

Answer 5

if you adopt a child as an infant you can start calling them son or daughter, but if you're adopting a child or older, they've been through alot already and you should wait until they're ready....with an infant, they'll grow up calling you mom and dad and that's all they'll know and respond to....when they get older and understand they're adopted, you're still their mom and dad, even if not their biological one

Answer 6

I did.  From the day my children came to live with us (admittedly, they were not infants - they were older and from foster care), I considered and called them my daughters.

Answer 7

I adopted my son through the state also and I went and picked him up when he was 6 weeks old and his birth father and mother signed away there right from the beginning so from the day I brought him home he was always my son from the moment I saw and held him in my arms

Answer 8

I had to wait almost 7 months to get my son home through an international adoption.  We were so far apart and I hadn't even met him yet...  but in my heart he was my son.  He was all I thought about while going through the process...  so I considered him my son and that's what I called him.

Answer 9

I'm going through an adoption now, but with older kids .. and since we've started with them, we've called them our daughters ... it's up to you ... some people will question you on it and I'm still working on how to deal with that.

Answer 10

No, it is wrong and confusing.

Call them what they are. Are they foster children? Try the truth.

Yes, the truth, it works. Keep it simple and honest and don't jump the gun.

Answer 11

We called our son 'our son' even before we brought him home.  When it was all going through and being finalized, but we had met and spent time with him, we thought of him and referred to him as our son.   You can call them whatever you wish - there are no legal rules - but I would advise calling them your son or daughter as soon as possible!

Answer 12

Yes you can still call them you're son or daughter weather or not that you have fully adopted the child or not If you have raised the child from an Infant then yes you have the right to call the child what ever you want son or daughter

Answer 13

Call them by their name. Or why not try asking them?

Answer 14

If you are talking about an infant that you are planning to formally adopt but, you are just waiting for the paperwork to go through -- I would personally call myself their mom and dad and refer to the baby as mine (or ours). And I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "formally adopted." Do you mean for the time it takes to finalize the adoption? If the parental rights have been terminated, as you said, and the baby is living with you -- even though you may not yet be the legally binding parents of the child, you are certainly his parents. You are takinga care of him, you are providing for him, you are planning your life with him, you are signing forms for him as his mother and father -- as far as I can tell, you are his mother and father but, youa re jsut talking about the months it takes to finalize the adoption. I would definitely refer to him as your son or daughter and I would definitely think of myself as his mother -- and I'm therefore not real sure what the point behind yoru question is. Do you feel like his mother? If not, why not? And if not, what are you waiting for?