What should you do if you are in love with a married man when you are married yourself?

Question

We used to date and it seems like he feels the same way. We flirt alot, but I don't know if that is all it is. Please help. He is all that I think about!!

Answer 1

Don't be a cow.

Answer 2

Please young woman, please think with your mind about what you are doing, if you are having problems in your marriage first think of what you want in your marriage, think of your husband, if you don't love him anymore or if he's hurt you deal with those feelings first, before you embark on adding another person who is married to another person in your life. It is a big mistake, it is complicated messy and it is against your vow of marriage, and it will hurt you.

Lust is a very strong emotion,but so is love, and think of your self respect, love yourself love who you are and love the one you're with. Don't try to escape by getting your mind messed up by someone who is not your mate.  If you have children how would they feel, what about your family, friends,what about that guys wife does he have kids,  Next time you think about him think about his wife and children,  May God bless you and protect you, and guide you through this. Reach out to the Lord he will help you.  Also think of this, there are so many women out there who would love to have a husband, have a marriage, and you have one however it may be, try to work it out, don't throw it away.

Answer 3

Do you love him? Does this guy love you? Better find that out before this goes any further. If it is love then re-evaluate your marriage. I agree with most the other answers but they forget one thing. sometimes marriages just don't work - but you need to be honest with your spouse.

Answer 4

you should stop if you love your husband and value and respect yourself

Answer 5

Don't even THINK about it!  It's called CHEATING!  That goes for both of you.

You need to find something else to occupy your mind!

Answer 6

If you leave your husband for your flirtatious fling...and if you meet another guy you use to previously date before your current flirtatious fling...are you going to do the same thing?

When does it stop?

What you SHOULD do, is focus on your husband and make that love grow because if you don't, you'll keep looking elsewhere to satisfy a need you'll never find.

I can't understand why you even opened this door in the first place, what made you cheat on your husband?  What ever told you it's okay to flirt with another man while you are a married woman?

How did you convince yourself that there would be no consequences and that no one was going to get hurt?

Oh...wait...I know.  You only though of yourself.  You'll never be satisfied by anyone you know, because you're actually selfish.

Answer 7

Stop all contact with him, and you won't be tempted..

Answer 8

The ONLY married man you should be in love with is your husband!  Did you not promise that you would love him exclusively when you married him?  The other married man promised his wife the same, I would think.  Wow!  How would you feel if you were to find out that your husband and his wife were asking things like this?  Ouch!

Answer 9

this is a mess! who is with me on this one?

Answer 10

keep cheating on ur husband untill he finds out and u will lose everything. u r really need a good doctor or u need more love from ur husband...

Answer 11

Just a thought:  Deal with your apparent lack of commitment to your husband first, independent of this other guy.  Are you done with your marriage?  If you aren't going to keep your vows to the man, at least set him free to seek someone who will.

If you deal with that question, then the answer to your question will be rather obvious.

Answer 12

You are in a very painful and confusing situation. You have to think about everyone involved. In my opinion, it's never a good idea to cheat. The fact that you are flirting and thinking about cheating means that there are problems in your marriage, and his too, that need to be worked through. Cheating just introduces many additional problems. Think very deeply, and try to figure out what needs to change in your relationship with your husband. What is missing? Don't automatically list your husband's faults. Try to think of things that you can change as well. Think back to when you felt really in love with your husband, and remember what it was like. Remember the things you loved about him. Also, think of how you would feel, and how your husband would feel, if he found out. There is a lot of shame, hurt, and lack of trust when something like that comes out, and it probably eventually will. Are you sure you want to deal with that?  

Answer 13

PLEASE HELP? Help you do what? It's common sense lady he's taken already and you just need to be mature enough to recognize this flirtation  for what it is, Just hot horny flirtation. What sort of advice are you wanting? For the masses on this forum to say,.... go for it!

I would love to **** a lot of women other than my wife, as well, but I don't because I am married. So I don't agonize over it because what it's a waste of emotional energy

Answer 14

well let me say this dont risk taring your family apart

if your not even sure if hes feeling the same.

also make sure its love not lust on your part.

Answer 15

No relationship will last long enough not to be uncovered by your spouse. When your husband finds out, you will have a rude awakening and wish that it was only a dream because your b/f the married man will stay with his wife as it is always the case.

Answer 16

your TRASH. It's women like you why men are such cheaters

Answer 17

Please stay away from each other!!! Disastrous if you carry on.....all will be lost and so much hurt...be strong

Answer 18

The first thing you need to do is step back from him and look at your relationship. Chances are, you're looking for something you aren't getting in your present marriage elsewhere, and perhaps all you really need is to fix that before you start claiming that you're in love with another married person off of some flirting.

Answer 19

Keep flirting and see if the timing ever gets better.

Answer 20

I am in love with a married man.  We used to date and still flirt a lot.  The only difference is that I am married to this man.

Answer 21

Consider why it is that you're flirting with the idea of breaking your vows. Is it boredom, unhappiness, or something else.

You need to talk to your husband, your friend, and someone who loves you, and discuss the why's here. Be careful. Cheat on a whim, and you could repent at leisure.