What sort of reception will this receive?

Question

a new series in three parts

GATES OF SPLENDOR part I

Beneath it all, the surface fleeting

into dreams which never live.

Rain of tears down my neck sheeting

secrets I could never give.

Reaching out past my perception,

turning water into wine;

miracle or my deception,

am I the damned or the divine?

Torn between the world aquiver

with the violence and the strife.

Another plane begins to shiver,

bringing itself into life.

Night begins to fall behind me,

sunlight's gleaming palpitation.

Is it true that I am now free--

or is it just imagination?

Answer 1

I like this very much, keep up the good work.

Answer 2

"Behind me" and "Now Free" though they do rhyme sound like the kind of stuff I did were everyone said don't... I think it works but it sounds like my own past ringing through your words...

I receive it well... I do not know how the others will...

Answer 3

Completely heart touching, this story always is. And all is so smooth. Who am I to say, but I will chance it.

"Is it true that I am 'now free', those two words stopped my flow of read. "Is it true that I am freed"       "Is it true that now

I am free"   "or just imagination"

Kudos.

Answer 4

Perfect meter and rhyme is much akin to a singer with perfect pitch.  It can bring a tear of joy to the listener or in this case, the reader.

Answer 5

I am completely thrilled that you are writing a new series. This beginning is fraught with the anticipation of one on the verge of freedom, freedom from "the violence and the strife"; does this portend fredom from life or a gentler metamorphosis?  The flow is graceful and the rhyme is flawless in this poem. I anxiously await the next part of the series.  Thank you.

Answer 6

love a new series and the reception is on!

this is an awakening...

burdens dropped.

hands free.