What the heck is my boyfriend doing?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We planned to get an apartment together this past June, then it was September, then I thought we had finally settled on January. Then yesterday he said maybe we should wait until April. Ugh, WHAT? He says that he wants to make sure that we have enough money saved up to rent a nice place, which is rational, but. . . come on, now. I keep asking him if he really wants to live with me and he says yes, but I'm starting to wonder. I go over to his house every other day (we live about 30 minutes apart), but he rarely (about once a month) comes over to my place because my mom won't let him stay the night and he says it's too far to drive. HAHA, right?

I love him very much and I could see myself being with him for a very long time. Breaking up is not the answer here. I just need opinions on what the h**l is going on in his head. Am I being too easy on him, letting him walk all over me about this? It would be mostly his money we're using because I'm in college, but he makes twice as much as I do anyway.

I am stuck in a dead-end retail job because he hasn't decided where we're going to move to so I'm not job hunting until a location is settled. There is nothing for me in the town that I am in, yet he keeps telling me to stick it out. Except that it is me who has the c**p job and lousy community college, not him.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah what should I do?

Answer 1

Bad news for you love, hes not ready to live with you. Its really that simple.

Best thing you can do is to stop talking about it and when hes ready to move he'll tell you.

Answer 2

don't pressure him you're only making it worse, his probably getting a little nervous about moving in with u because to some people that is a big step. Give him some space to help him clear his mind. And give him the time he needs.  

Answer 3

Why is it too far for him to drive but not for you?  Concentrate on your college homework and get on your feet.  If he still wants to move in he will wake up to that fact.  Concentrate on yourself right now and get yourself into a good position, either school or work.  Who knows, once you do you may not want him then.  Just don't waste your time waiting for him to make things better for you.  Take a stand and do for yourself.  Build your own confidence and it will let him see that you do not need him but chose him.  Then the two of you can work on things together.  "A relationship is 90% give and 10% take on both sides." Roy Rogers  

Answer 4

Okay this may sound harsh, but why would he move in with you when you are staying the night with him every other. He's getting what he wants from you plus he has all the comforts and no responsibilities of living at home. He could also be afraid to take that next step of moving in and committing to someone. It's a big step for someone to take to leave the protection of the nest for something that isn't known. Also his mother may be putting doubts into his head like "you're going to be supporting her".

My suggestion would be to back off on your every other night visits, try going over only on the weekends or only once during the week. my gut instinct tells me he will make his mind up about move in with you a lot faster and easier if he isn't getting what he wants all time. Or it could go the other way and he might leave you, But then he wouldn't have been worth it and it would be better off to find out now then later.

Answer 5

Dont pressurise him, do it in time.

Answer 6

hunny DONT!!! plan your life around a man! You are in college you have many routes to choose in life. When 2 people move in together people change, especially when it comes to money. You may not feel it from him now but you will later if you do end up moving in together that he will pretty much make you know you make less than him. If you are so itchin to move out your mamas house find yourself a place that is strictly yours. Get a room to rent or something if you cant afford a whole spot by yourself. Im not trying to sound mean at all, trust me when I say this been there done that. Your man may be different but there is a reason why he hasnt pounced on the idea of moving out together yet hunni. Give your lovestruck head a shake and become a woman by nurturing your self  and giving yourself the opportunity to be independant.