What think you of Part Two-ish of Allegra?

Question

Who would leave their bed of winter's night

To light dark's ice with wax candle?

Not you, priest...

Bound by law to the body, not soul's grief

Or expansion.

Bound to limit the soul in one direction.

Denial of reed and drum leads voices,

In canto, to ceilings.

Captured. Tonal.

Never twice on key.

To each a choice...thorn, dulled thorn.

Thorn nonetheless.

Vine. Rose.

What redemption after salvation?

Can salvation be redeemed?

Must it, should it, by who's hand...

Long the vine, short the rose.

Together...vining rose of headstones

Rendering hollowness in winter's

Dark ice.

For you who remember...

A candle.

Answer 1

There is not anything I could say That will be better then what's already been said ..............Beautifully Done!!

Answer 2

I have some work to do...you guys are all making it very difficult.

Answer 3

Salvation versus reincarnation?  Christain beliefs versus Hindu, etc.? Your words flow well with much meaning to try to discern.  Compliments, as always.

Answer 4

I can't stand it!  These are magnificent!  The ice/candle images are haunting me already.  They are permanently etched in the secret place where I live.

Answer 5

This feels like a chorus. Like the narrator is building from observation to song. I love the sounds of:

To each a choice...thorn, dulled thorn.

Thorn nonetheless.

Vine. Rose.

And "To light dark's ice with wax candle" and to end with:

Dark ice.

For you who remember...

A candle

Well, I love that.

Answer 6

Recall the light, of amazing grace.

Now all sounds like Spiritually versus Man made laws.

This I well relate to. Kudos!

Answer 7

Thank you but I am reading them backwards.

Answer 8

Very Pretty...!!

Answer 9

Perhaps a first....I am speechless.  The canvas is is so full right now.

Answer 10

Wow - I'm going to have to read and re-read this...as it is so richly layered.  Are you truly saying that a priest is not in charge of the soul?  Not capable of dealing with its griefs, nor allowing it room to grow?  Perhaps, a priest would presume to steer the flock in one direction, I suppose, not allowing for diversity.

By whose hand....(typo)

My favourite bit - since I am an echoing rhyme junkie, is

Together....vining rose of headstones/Rendering hollowness in winter's/Dark ice.

(ps This can't be a poem, it doesn't rhyme).

Answer 11

beautiful poem It sounds absolutely wonderful

Answer 12

This is simply breathtaking.  It is pensive and haunting in imagery and thought. "Can salvation be redeemed" is exquisite. I love it when you post your serious poetry because it always has such a strong impact on me.  Thank you.