What think you of a 'Nature' poem?

Question

Trees sway like

Seaweed. Kelp.

Currents...

Birds dart, wing,

Snap...scaled

Fishes...

The Earth is dotted

With shells,

Stones...

Storms rage water.

Subsea quakes

Typhoon land...

The Oneness of all.

Timeless.

Answer 1

Very beautiful image.  I like how it all works together in your poem and in life from the serene sway of the kelp to the tempestuous typhoon. I love nature poems and this is timeless.

Answer 2

i like everything but i feel that you could add something about the sky or air at the beginning

Answer 3

.....and everything exists....connected, in its matrix , space.. how amazing  the universe is with its islands of possibility . How wonderful that we are at once  a part of it all.  

Congratulations!  you have captured  and written in a few short words  the book of the  natural world and presented it to us like a butterfly on a leaf  ready for flight.

Answer 4

Sublimely descriptive poem.

Answer 5

This sounds wonderful, when all you have is desert and cactus.

Answer 6

This is timeless.............. I had to scrape the seaweed off the side of my house last year

Oh wait a minute that was pete moss.... sorry

Have a great week....

Answer 7

Indeed it does hold water....allow me, if I may, to tap into that.

Your words

flood our senses

rinse the doubt

from our minds

gave mine

a jolly good

spring clean

"time and Tide

wait for no man"

Answer 8

This is an exceptionally pretty image, not just because it reminds me of some of my stock options: it evokes, as you say, a timelessness similar to what section III of Shelley's Ode to the West Wind attempted (about the sunken city), or where Debussy's thick and almost a-melodic Engulphed Cathedral succeeded.  The storm does not spoil the image, so it is more natural than Shelley's; the substitution of fish for birds makes the poem, interestingly, alive yet timeless.

I am not too sure about `typhoon land,' however; perhaps I do not understand what you mean to convey by this line?  Likewise, `the Oneness of all' seems to be too strong a conclusion to draw; for example the trees are still alive, like seaweed, and the birds/fish fly under the sea of their own volition: it bothers me to argue that they are `one' in any but a very metaphorical sense that would be acceptable above ground as well.  But I have perhaps misunderstood...

Edit: Thank you or the clarification-- I had misunderstood the `syntax' of this poem.  In my lust for grammar I implicitly added `in,' `as,' and `and' to the ends of the first three stanzas' respective second lines-- and then get lost in the fourth.  The real version is less visual than how I read it, but persuasively argues the `oneness' point.

Answer 9

Interconnection of nature, sparse and brilliant.

Answer 10

Take away the water (or add it) and much the same.  This says much and is also timeless in message.  Well said.

Edit:

“Nature”, says Terry T

needs some air and sky

to make it whole

Maybe some sky would help

or a touch or air to make it real

but what then…a science lab?

Read again the lines she penned

and then begin to see the “why”

Why sky and air, not needed there!