What think you of an ominous, portentious Sunday morning poem?

Question

Leaves out for recess...

Dawn no authority.

Schoolyard backyard

Acceptance.

Clouds' haze askew

Portends omens.

Delphic Oracle

Out my window,

Lips moving

Eyes laughing

Words...

I cannot hear.

A snake crosses

My path.

Answer 1

Snakes alive........

time to dive....

snakey died.....

Daddy cried......

Have a good nite!!!

Answer 2

The snake!  Now that is an ending with a new beginning!  Is it slithering or walking?  I liked the "leaves out for recess"  line.

Answer 3

I wouldn't worry too much. Cassandra was always telling fibs.

Answer 4

Thanks for the mention, Kid, 'though I don't think I'm quite up there with Poe and Browning.

I think he meant the poem, not just a particular word. And you haven't spelt portentous correctly...there's no 'i' in it. I'm afraid I agree with him. It's one of these 'poems' which has no clear meaning (or if it has, it's not clearly expressed) and lets the reader interpret it in their own way. If YOU are trying to say something, the meaning should be clear.

I'm told you block people who criticize your poetry so that they can't respond to your reply to them. If this is true, why? Are you really so egocentric?

Addendum 20 minutes later: Just emailed Kid, who tells me that he is denied access to your site. Just because he didn't tickle your ego? I guess I'll be blocked now as well, so if I don't respond to any comments it'll be because I can't. Oh, and by the way...the word is 'kindergarten'.

Answer 5

A wonderful mystery!  and watch out for those

snakes...some have two legs and no brains...sic Snidley on them.

Answer 6

THIS POEM SUCKED SO BAD IVE SEEN YOUR OTHER ONES TO AND THEY ARE THE WORST! GET A FREAKING JOB LADY! AND IF YOU DO READ THIS IM GLAD THAT YOU BLOCK ME SO THEN I DONT HAVE TO READ THIS GARBAGE YOU CALL POETRY!

Answer 7

simple yet great

Answer 8

You've got the ominous and portentious parts down, to be sure!

Answer 9

Well, the Oracle's predictions were always ambivalent, so maybe that snake is just a garden snake. The poem is still scary, though. That haze blocking dawn may actually portend a serious storm.

Answer 10

I've just read your responses to Kid and Percy and I think you've gone over the top. If the reader has to interpret the poem any way they want to then you can't blame them for interpreting it as pretentious, can you. What's up? Can't you take criticism unless it panders to your ego? You obviously just want to hear from people telling you how 'brilliant' you are. A poet (or any writer) should have a clear idea of what they want to say, and the skill to be able to say it in a thoughtful, entertaining, clever and CLEAR way, but in such a way that allows the reader to bring their own experiences to the table. To see the view that the poet has pointed out to them, but from their own perspective.

When your poem relies SOLELY on the reader to supply it with meaning, then it is void and vapid and an exercise in futility, merely messing around with words for the sake of it. When the reader says "I wonder what that means" (even if they enjoy the wondering) then it only proves that you had nothing much worth saying or said it poorly, or both.

Not wishing to be rude, but you seem a deeply unpleasant person, whose only concern is to feed off people's praise. I will not be visiting your site again because people like you are best ignored. And also, from what I've read, your poetry sucks. Before you tell anyone to learn how to critique a poem, perhaps you should first learn how to write one.

Answer 11

Sorry, but incredibly pretentious (never mind portentous), not to mention so ambiguous as to mean anything. Want REAL poetry? Read THE RAVEN by Edgar Allan Poe, or Robert Browning's THE PIED PIPER OF HAMLIN. Or some of Percy Hinkle Pinkerbottom's poems.

Answer 12

Good morning to you and your snake.  Be careful that snidely doesn't eat the wiggly one.

Answer 13

I guess... Something wicked this way comes...

Me thinks tis a little dark ,,,We liked it ,,With eyes laughing ,,,Words we cannot hear....

Answer 14

I like it. It is something about schools,students, education.Its the about revelation of knowledge when ceases.Or may be when knowledge is not perceived or not evoked in the proper manner.. lips moving.. words..I cannot hear .. allot of interpretations .. but then when the Oracle's words cannot be heard the snake crosses every ones path.

Dark, sensual, and abstract description of ones sighs.

COMMENT : to my knowledge the word "Portend" works on both sides depending on what comes next , here "omens", so it is not pretentious . . KID , is that right ?

Answer 15

typical summer feeling in my neck of the woods....lazy and hazy..