What to do,married but soo unhappy?

Question

Her is my issue...my husband and i have been together 8 years and married 1 year. we have 3 kids ranging from 1 - 6 years of age. Ok i am the ultimate house wife: i work 35 hours a week,take care of the kids ,the house laundry ,clothes,garbage everything..he will help around the house on a rare occasion..he is never home and saties out to all hours of the nite.. ive questioned him and he says he is not cheating...even tho my gut says other wise.he mean i have a good life as far as house car and money goes but i dont feel the love. and now i am starting to fall out of love with him.

and i have tried evrything possible to get it to work... now i have attnetion from other guys and even tho i am so unhappy im not unfaithful and im just so confused on what to do...i dont want to end my marriage but yet i want fun in my life too.

Answer 1

This happens in so many marriages, guy meets girl, initially things are new and exciting, they feel comfortable with each other and get married...time goes by, guy feels like he doesn't need to stay attractive to girl anymore, or maybe he didn't even know how to be attractive in the first place to girls that well...guy and girl start falling into a routine...things get boring...girl becomes bored...girl starts losing attraction for guy....divorce ensues.  

Honestly, I feel bad for women these days.  It is really easy for guys, pretty women are a dime a dozen, and guys are mainly attracted to looks, and of course a charming lady.

Women have it rough though, finding a guy who has a job, makes good money and can support you along with still having enough for the finer things in life like vacations, who is loyal and trustworthy, along with being confident, a leader, having a sense of humor, being adventurous, not boring, and knowing how to be attractive to women, and maybe even physically attractive as well and takes care of himself and his body, that is Very, very hard to find that guy like that.  

Answer 2

First off I would be finding out if he is cheating.  However you have to do it even if you have to follow him to whereever it is he goes at night.  If he is cheating it is OVER...

If not then you have a trust issue or your gut would not be telling you he was having a affair and that is a trust issue.  You need to get some help for that if he is not having a affair that is if he is having a affair then he is a looser and not worth your time...

Answer 3

Divorce him, if your unhappy and he's unwilling to try and stay around to help you around the house, then the magic is gone, it may be better to split away for awhile and see what happens.

Answer 4

You should talk to him face to face and discuss what you want. If this relationship is really built on love, then he will listen to you and try to make you happy. Don't be afraid to talk to him or else you'll just have more unhappy days.

Answer 5

Unfortunatel it seems that you must choose.  If your marriage is not going to change and you want fun than you need to end the marriage before looking for fun elsewhere.  If you simply want to remain married than keep working to improve the relationship or forget about fun forever.

Time to put it on the line.  Tell hubby that you think he is cheating, the thought is destroying your love for him and your feelings have diminished.  You want to have fun in your life and there is not any in the marriage.  You will do whatever you can but he must make things different or you are going to leave him.  Tell him you are willing to go to marriage counciling and if he isn't then you know he is not interested in the marriage and you will then end it.  AND THEN DO WHAT YOU SAID.  then you can go look for all the fun you want.

Answer 6

If you have tried everything to make it work, go to counseling with him. Bring this up and he'll either A> go to counseling with you B not want to go to counseling so he'll help out more around the house, or C. refuse to go, in which you should leave him.

Answer 7

well i'm 12 but i'm good at this stuff. it means he getting tired of you. well i think cause it like when a boy loves you for a while and just wants to be cool by getting married so yea he does then he like igors u. i would do the same thing maybe backk?

i would go see someone to talk to maybe when ur kids go 2 school go see someone and their help=]

Answer 8

Time to trust your gut. Unhappy marriages in time will affect children as they are sensitive to pick up vibes.

If you do not attempt open up to him about your feelings and your anxieties re the state you're in, then you will not know the whole picture - he might have some issues that he is afraid to tell you, it's a male ego thing. Listen to his side of the story and if both of you come to a dead end then decide mutually what the both of you should do.

But... Looking at your daily routine, that's too much and you deserve to live a happy life. You're already feeling no love - a loveless marriage is a sad place to be (for the kids too). Talk to your close friends and share your troubles - they may have their own opinions, etc but still trust your gut.

Answer 9

If you wish for a lonely life, stay. If you have discussed this issue with him and he has done nothing to help the marriage, I would go. Easy as that. Life is too short to be unhappy. Sounds like he is having the time of his life without you. That's not a partner.

Answer 10

I would go with your gut.  If it doesn't feel right or you feel like you are falling out of love, you two are more or less living like roommates.

Let him know your feelings about not being "inlove" with him, and move on.  IF he can't give you and the kids the time of day, it's not worth your added energy of trying to work it out.  He doesn't invest enough into your family.

I'm not an advocate to break up a family; however, I believe a mother or father, for that matter, need to be happy in order for their children to be happy.  You don't want to teach the kids what a "bad" relationship is.

Best of luck to you in whatever path you choose.