What to do About g*y friends vs homophobic family + baby shower!!?

Question

I have all g*y friend and my sister in law is a L*****n. Im due to have my son in 8 weeks and my baby shower is in 4 weeks. I was going over the invite list with my mom and my aunt because there the one's giving me the party. Well i gave them a list of friends whom they didnt have address's to and my aunt became obviously disturbed because they were my g*y friends and L*****n sister in law. It was so sad! She doesnt mind g*y people BUT her husband (my uncle) is from the south and he is SUPER homophobic. (baby shower is co-ed). She tried to tell me that maybe they could have a seprate shower for "those people" and have the "normal" one with family and their close friends. I got very very upset to the point that i dont even want the party anymore. My mom understands my view and disagrees with my aunt but at the same time she is sick of hearing it (on my b-day gathering if they show up her and my uncle will leave). i tried talking 2 her but out of respect i dont argue (shes my great aunt)

Answer 1

It is your shower. Sometimes friends are more important than family. So what if your Uncle is Homophobic, he doesn't have to go.

Answer 2

I usually don't agree with this but throw it yourself. If your aunt wants to act that way it's her problem and her loss. That is absolutely ridiculous. Your friends shouldn't be punished for their way of living.

I understand you don't want to disrespect anyone but wouldn't it be disrespectful enough to have separate showers simply because your family doesn't agree with your friends' lifestyles. Throw one yourself and invite everyone. If your aunt and her husband don't want to come then don't sweat it.

Answer 3

Ur uncle is prejudged and needs to get over it

Answer 4

it doesn't matter what HE thinks. it YOUR shower. don't let him spoil it. hope it turns out good.

Answer 5

its better to do 2 diff showers. i think im w/ ur aunt on this one. g*y ppl bring a uncomfortable vibe. if u try to bring them together YOU will be the only one who wants them to get along, trust me it wont happen. do 2 diff ones

Answer 6

I had two baby showers, one thrown by my mother and one by my mother-in-law.

My mom and mother-in-law aren't the best of friends and they both wanted to have a shower for me so I went along with it and had fun at both showers.

I can totally see your point, though.  People should be grown up enough to get along and be nice on your special day but if they can't then they can't and just think, two days to have fun games, and presents, etc.

Maybe you can even have more fun with your cool friends anyway.  The family shower will probably be dull and boring and the fun shower with "those people" will be a riot, I'm sure.

I'll bet they get your baby some really funky clothes and it will be stress free.  No worries about any unpleasantness.

Answer 7

Its your baby shower, you have the right to have your friends there. Tell your aunt something on the line, "With all do respect, i want my friends there, i can't just uninvite them, that would be extremely rude. I want them there and they are going to be there. I'm sorry, I love you aunt ???? but if you don't agree with it, then maybe you should just stay home."  

There is no room for ignorance in your life, or anyones life. I'm going to assume you are going to raise your child to accept people? Correct? Well, this is a good time to start. Don't univnite them due to ignorance of your aunt and uncle.

Answer 8

My personal opinion is that I have reached a point where..  I am who I am, and my friends are who they are.  If its my shower, I am going to invite who I want.

I would personally invite my friends, and if someone doesnt like it, they leave.

However, that will also cause fights and hard feelings.  If you want to keep things 'smooth' the only option is to have seperate showers.

I have no desire to keep things smooth in my family, so I wouldnt care.

But, in the end...   How are they going to treat your friends?  And thats where I might bend.  Not for my family's sake, but to keep my friends from being subjected to the attitudes I know they will encounter.

Answer 9

if your aunts husband can't accept people, he should be the one to suffer. plus, isn't getting rid of one person better than getting rid of a lot? just tell him nicely that you have different views and if he is uncomfortable he shouldn't come. it's your special day and you shouldn't need to stress about something. your aunts husband just needs to either go to the shower and be happy (even if he's pretending) or not come at all because you want it to be fun, you don't want him to spoil the day. you sound like you're in a pickle! hope i helped =]

Answer 10

I told those who attend any of my parties, to mind their mouths - I have no shame when it comes to telling people to leave.

My best-friend is g*y, and awesome. If people don't like him, that's there problem. The event is about me or my children, not their issues.

You say you don't argue out of respect, she needs to show you the same respect.

- I told my Grandfather, my own flesh and blood to leave my 18th Birthday, because I couldn't deal with his attitude towards my Friend. He has since been to many events including my Wedding, and they get along like a house on fire.

Don't back down babe, we live in the year 2008 not the year 1908!!

Answer 11

They should be able to set aside their differences for you and your baby.  It's for you, not them.  Besides, we're all grown-ups people, and this is 2008, people have different lifestyles.  I would have the party and if they don't want to attend, then too bad.  It's not like your uncle and your friends have to totally hang out at the party.  At my shower, I had my in-laws there who were divorced and hated each other.  They managed to stay civil and just stayed at opposite ends of the room. No big deal

Answer 12

If she's the host of the party, she can invite whoever she wants.

As the guest of honor, though, you, too, are a guest & can decide whether you are going to attend.  Is that the kind of party that you want to attend?  It might be.  It's family, honoring you & the new baby.  That's nice.  

If your other friends are not invited to a shower & want to give you one, they can do so, too.