What to do about a 4 yr old girl with a mean streak?

Question

I have 4 yr old with a mean a streak. She can at one point be sweet and loving and the next moment she's kicking at the dog. If she's mad at me she will kick at me or scratch, pinch or hit me. She gets toys and priviledges taken away and/or time outs when she does this. I also tell her that she won't have any friends if she's a mean and sassy girl. I just want to figure out how to stop the mean behaviour.

thanks for the help...

Answer 1

Take her off sugar, artificial coloring, sweetners and preservatives. It is not punishment it is a health issue that needs to be addressed in the most seious way. She is hyperactive and most likely hypoglycemic.

Answer 2

i little spank is not going to be child abuse, spare the rod spoil the child... she feels she is domanating you and thats why she does it

Answer 3

You need to be consistent in her discpline and also look into what it is that makes her so aggressive. Could it be a TV show she watches? Does she see people fight a lot?

When she does that, you get right down to her eye level and firmly tell her she is not to do that and then put her in time out.

Watch SuperNanny, it's a really great show that would address an issue like this!

Answer 4

The punishment needs to be bad enough she doesn't want to be mean anymore.  If my child kicked the dog or kicked me, scratched, etc. I would beat her *ss and send her to her room.  There would be no question she would recognize that behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated for one second.  I know, people think spanking is such a bad thing, but used sparingly it can be quite effective.  I disagree that spanking a child teaches them that violence is a solution.  I think swift and sure punishment teaches them that there are repercussions to their actions, and that those reprecussions will be unpleasant.

Answer 5

pimp slap her with your pimp cane

Answer 6

Please don't spank her.  I am all for spanking, but not in this situation.  My son had the exact same problem.  It is like saying "don't hit" and then WHACK!  I tried embracing him when he was acting vicious and he put my teeth through my lip.  I was at wits end and didn't know what to do.  I kept with it.  I tried everything.  Nothing seemed to work for me.  Then I got creative, and what did it for me was the "button".  I glued an oversized button to his wall by his bed and dressed it up with a sticker.  I told him that when he felt angry and couldn't control himself that  he could go in his room and push his button.  I explained that it acted much like a restart button (like on his V-smile).  I told him that he might have to wait a while for it to kick in.  See for him, punishment only made him more angry and he couldn't calm himself down.  It was coming out in all kinds of awful ways.  I started saying "Do you need to go push your button?" and he would put himself in his room.  One day he spent two hours in his bed because he was feeling mean, and wouldn't come out until it went away.  It averted so many fights, and taught him how to sooth himself when angry.  He is 7 now and no longer uses the button, but is the most empathetic and sweet kid  that I know.  All thanks to the button.

Answer 7

Well, I work with children with behavioural difficulties. The thing to do, which is much easier with other people's kids, is to separate the child from the behaviour. She's a nice kid who behaves badly, when she's angry. Hang on to that! Second, teach her it's quite OK to feel angry - no one has the right to try and alter your feelings. However, it is NEVER okay, as a result of those feelings to hurt anyone or damage anything. Tell her that - in those words ('I can see you are angry - that's fine, but do not kick ..etc') Then, teach her 'strategies - try tearing up old newspapers, crushing cardboard boxes, popping bubble wrap, counting to ten.... Discuss and rehearse these with her. Have a special 'code' word to use if you see her getting mad, and use it to cue her in to these strategies. Give her an 'angry place' (not like a naughty corner!) where she can stamp and shout away from people. Finally, loads of hugs and praise when she manages to calm down all by herself. Remember, you love this child, (if not her behaviour.) She will probably feel pretty scared by all these strong emotions. Remember, even when she has calmed, emotional temperatures remain high for some time, so aim for calmness and preferably a change of activity or scenery. Good luck

Answer 8

Anger Management classes for kids?

Or maybe a call to Super Nanny?

Answer 9

Every time she acts up she needs to be punished. No matter what she dose. I believe in spankings but being told no just no dose not work. She has to realize that the way she is acting is unacceptable. You need to make her understand. Maybe you should make the punishments a bit more harsh. Try to be more firm. You are the leader of the pack and she needs to respect you and know that!

Answer 10

Leave her at the mall.

Answer 11

I know this is going to sound mean and not with today's PTO groups, but if the girl is seriously acting like this, spank her.  I know that's what happened to me if I was mean and trust me, I never did it again.

I know, cruel, but seriously spank her with a belt and she'll never do it again.

Answer 12

Spank her. I had a mean streak and thats what my parents did. They also sent me to bed without supper if I didnt behave. There's nothing wrong with spanking if you don;t hit them hard enough to bruise. And if you explain why you are hitting them.

Answer 13

I have a little girl just like yours, she is obstinate, a bully, temper tantrums, am not used to this cause my other 2 are so sweet and quiet. I've found the best way to get to her is simply ignore her tantrums, as I really do believe it's an attention thing. Good Luck, and I know how you feel...Bella

Answer 14

I am a studying pshchologist--Working on Masters. Everything I have learn about children--that is my field child behavior) she has aggression that is pent up from somewhere--anxiety from something. You need to pick her up when she has one (because most of the time it is for attention--sometimes there is a serious problem) and hold her tight till the tantrum is through. Tell her you love her over and over during her fit. She is 4 and does not have the words, knowledgfe, experience like we do as adults to convey waht is going on with her. I have a 5 yr old and boy is she sassy-it does come with the fact of having a girl-but you do need to explain "BOUNDRIES" my child is just now getting it. They can have opinions and get frustrated because we do also--they are just mini people--tell her it is okay to be upset but she has to find another way to get it out--like you go to her when the fit \starts and say "are you mad?" make her answer you and then say lets talk about it--why are you made-did the dog make you mad--if no then you say well then we dont hurt the dog--he did not do anything ....and so on....

I know it sounds elementary --it is--you have to get to there level and only have there vocab not yours. Teach her to talk about it and tell you--catch it now aggression is a bad thing.

Answer 15

lmao i liked the first one! but your on a good start disipline it out of her, you may feel like your being harsh and that shes just a kid but your right she wont have friends if you dont do something... grounding

Answer 16

You have to make sure that you're being consistent.  Continue  with the time outs and taking her privileges away when she acts out... but also make sure that you OVERLY praise and reward her when her behavior is good.

Answer 17

Children's behavior are learned from their parents or whomever their around majority of the time! I always said I didn't want a little girl BC I was more than a hand full when I was younger, but NOW I have come to realize, no matter what the s*x of your child is, they are going to gain their parents personality and character traits. My son is stubborn, fiesty, at times very mean, spoiled, arrogant, intimidating all at 1 and 1/2 years old. I was the same exact was ans still to this day have some of those traits I cannot lose.

Answer 18

Apparently you are agents spanking.  

I have three children 5, 3, and 9 months.  Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I spank them for every thing, but if my children acted that way they would get a swat and told why they got it.  Use a big speaking voice to assert that you will not tolerate this behavior.

If you don't want to spank just use your voice as I stated before, get down to her level make her look you in the eye and tell her you will not tolerate that behavior.

Answer 19

Give her a good bum spanking.

Answer 20

try checking out the show nanny 911 on abc it seems like it might help :D

Answer 21

she only does that because she somehow gets rewarded by doing it. if you follow through with your punishment EVERY time it should die down after a while