What to do about a 5 year old who?

Question

throws a tantrum every time you ask her to do something? whether is be pick up her room, pick up her clothes or even throw her trash away.

Answer 1

Stay calm and if she wont do what you are telling her to do then you do it and start throwing stuff away or donating her stuff. Dont threaten to do it. Dont bribe her to do it. Either she listens and does what she is told or you do it and get rid of her things.  Tell her if she wants to keep her things then she needs to take care of them and follow the rules.

Answer 2

just stay calm and constant

Answer 3

i used to put everything in a big garbage bag infront of my daughter and store it away in the garage, i held them for a week and than everyday she cleaned up after herself she got one thing back, this also works with clothes as long as you are willing do put in extra laundry time.

Answer 4

I let my kids have their tantrums at that age. They need to learn to deal with their emotions and it is OK to be upset. I do not tolerate lashing out verbally or being destructive though.  If the tantrum disturbs the household, I make her go to her room to let it out. I make sure that I do not withdraw affection as I do not want her to think that it is bad to have negative feelings. When she was older, like grade 2 or 3 I made her write 10-20 ways on how to express anger in a positive way.

She rarely has outbursts that last more than seconds now. She is 8.

Answer 5

5 is kinda old to still be acting that way....yet, at 5 they are pretty much set in their ways.

It is going to take time and patience to reverse this. as she has probably been acting this way her whole life.

put your foot down now and tellher you are sick of her acting like a three year old, and you need her to act like a big girl.

when my 6 year old starts that c**p...i count to three and she KNOWS i'm in business.

Answer 6

It seems that she is testing you, my son is 6 and sometimes he trys to get away with more than usual and I have to put him in his place. Most of the times I can give me a look and he knows that he has gone too far. You just need to show her that this is not good bahavior and she will learn, kids are smart. But be in the look out because she will test the water again. good luck

Answer 7

You walk away.  You ask and walk away.  You need to show no reaction to an outburst.

Answer 8

Use the  best matter of fact voice you can muster up, give her specific directions and set a consequence like "I need you to put the dirty clothes on the floor into the hamper. When you are done, then you can watch your cartoons, have your juice, play outside, or whatever you think would work." Of course, you have to follow through so make it something you are willing to follow through on. Also, don't forget to thank her for finishing the task or if you catch her throwing out trash or what not.

Answer 9

in my family if you're throwing a tantrum you go to your room by yourself until you're ready to be around other people.  you don't get an audience for the tantrum, you don't get sympathy for the tantrum, and even if there was a chance you might have gotten what you wanted if you hadn't had a tantrum but had simply asked politely, you definitely don't get it if you do have one.  when the tantrum is over and you're back under control, then you get back to whatever it was you were supposed to be doing.  since they've got nothing to gain, my kids generally don't have tantrums past the age of 2 or so.  5 is really pretty old for tantrums.  if i had a 5-year-old who started having tantrums, i'd suspect that they were getting sick or that something else was going on with them.  i'd still treat the tantrum behavior the same way, but i'd also try to figure out what was going wrong with them (maybe at school? maybe with friends?)

Answer 10

well sell them!

Answer 11

This is what i do and it seems to work. I either threaten her with the garbage bag and tell her that i'm going to throw all her stuff in the trash or i'll tell her that she can't go visit a friend or go anywhere fun.  Good luck!!

Answer 12

Lock her in her room and let her scream it out. Don't give her attention of any kind. That's exactly what she wants.

Answer 13

OMG!  my 4 year old son does the same thing!  his thing he says is "I hate doing everything" and then he'll cross his arms in front of his chest and pout.  its so bad sometimes.  eventually he does it but he is not happy.  he's just spoiled and now i am trying to un-spoil him.  LOL   its not working very well.

Answer 14

My 5 year old had this problem.  After fighting with her about this so many times, I finally did the following:

I cleaned her entire room for her.  And I mean a good cleaning where everything was in order.  Then I brought her in and showed her.  She was happy with it.  Then I said to her, mommy cleaned it this one time.  I will not do it again and I will not help you either.  When you go to bed at night and you get something out, if it is still there in the morning (on the floor) it will be thrown away.  If you leave your clothes on the floor instead of putting them in the hamper, they will be thrown away the next morning, etc.  It took about 3 of her things being thrown away before she realized I meant business.  I feel like it was easier for her to keep it clean once I did it and it wasn't such an overwhelming feeling for her to have to do it herself.  It's worked pretty well.  Occasionally it backfires in regards to trash being left around because she knows I will throw it away, lol.  They get smart!  So what I do is I leave my trash in her room and she gets mad at me for it.  So I tell her pick up your trash and I'll pick up mine!

Answer 15

First of all you need to stay calm because they are doing it to get a reaction out of you. If they dont pick uo their room say "Ok i'll pick it up, but then I gat to keep andything I pick up" In most cases this will be toys or clothes they like" Then to earn them back they will have to do extra chores for you around the house. You have to try your best to let the issue be the consequence. This worked for my 5 yr old daughter. Good luck..oh and when they do pick up their trash, room, etc.. praise, praise

Answer 16

You can ignore her tantrums, and tell her her behavior is not acceptable. When she is ready to talk to you in a sensible tone then you will talk. Start taking privileges away. Like no tv, no radio. She cannot invite a friend over until she starts helping out with the chores. Make a game out of her chores. Give her a chart with her chores on it when she completes the chores at the end of the week give her a treat a prize or something . Like a movie to rent, a friend to come over. You can also put stars or some kind of stickers on each day when she completes her chores. If she doesn't get a start everyday, then no treat. Give her some kind of control, let her choose what time of the day to throw away the thrash, or pick up her room. If you haven't already  give her colorful storage bins that she can decorate to put her toys aways in. Let her pick out her own little garbage can. They have them at Walmart for kids. Disney Princess, Hannah Montana and so forth. If you can't find one get just a plain one for her size and let her decorate it. You can come up with all kinds of ideas. I hope this helps. I have a 5yr. old girl to,soon to be 6, so I know what it's like.

Answer 17

If she is throwing a tantrum when you ask her to pick up something, put whatever it is in a box and let her know she can no longer have them till she learns to do what she is told without throwing a fit and having to be told multiple times. As far as her clothes, obviously you can't box them up.  But you can put away all her favorite outfits, shirts or jeans, even shoes. Make her wear the clothes that she doesn't like and she'll soon obey...looking good is important even to five year olds!! If she refuses to throw away her trash, don't allow her to snack on or have items that produce trash. No more candy  bars with wrappers, juice boxes, etc....

You have to make sure at her age that she realizes there are consequences to her actions and you HAVE to follow through. Don't tell her if she does something again she gets time out and then warn her again when she does it. Put her butt in time out everytime or she'll realize you are just "saying that".

Best of luck.....