What to do about a teen daughter who has a learning disability, and wants nothing but to be a rock star??

Question

She has taken a few college courses but didn't do well. She is unrealistic about the world, and also naive. She is also shy to the point of not asking questions in school, in order to help herself. Seh can be stubborn. Guru, thank you for your good answer, but I saw it was listed under "Toddlers" so I thought I should post the question here as well.

Answer 1

First, the learning disability: you didn't say what kind of disability it is,  but help for many types of learning issues is available at most colleges and universities.  Together with the counselors at her learning resource or access center, your daughter can work with professors to adapt methods and/or materials in a way that works for her.  But she has to want to get help,cooperate with the counselors. and be willing to discuss her options with her professors.  That last part is the hardest. But she can do it.  And the profs really won't bite her head off or make her feel stupid.  They LIKE to have students come and ask questions.

Second, the rock star plan: if she has talent and this is her dream, let her pursue it.  She can perform in a band or enter talent contests and still take college classes.  If she is unrealistic about her chances, let her find out on her own how competitive the music world is. You want to protect her from disappointment, but at some point, she needs to learn to handle it on her own.  Encourage her to have other interests and plans "just in case" the rock music doesn't work out.  

Finally, the naivete and lack of realism: that's typical in the teen years and early in college.  Most kids figure things out on their own if they are given some freedom and independence.  Let her try things, but keep in close touch, and let her know you are there for her if she ever needs help.

Good luck to both of you.

EDIT: College disability services, learning resource centers, tutoring centers, and the like can't legally tell professors about the students who come to them for help. It is a privacy issue, and it's the law.  The students are encouraged to talk with their professors at the beginning of the term.  I have never known a prof. who didn't accommodate - in fact, they have to.