What to do about an 8 year old who is too boastful?

Question

My 8yo is really boastful about everything, is this normal and if not how can i stop the boastful behavior as it is really p*ssing everyone off?

Answer 1

Talk to him and teach him about being a good winner and bad winner.

Some kids are good at things (like soccer) because God made them that way. To make other kids feel bad because they aren't good at the same things, is hurtful.

Give him examples and stories he can relate to.

if he is boasting to others about all the video games, clothes, whatever he has, I'd take a serious look at what he has and why he is not appreciating it and making others feel bad that they may not have the same.

Answer 2

Depends what he is boasting about?

Does he have a larger willy than you and you are getting jealous, or maybe he is getting all the female attention lol

Answer 3

boys and kids can be boastful...but i would sit him down and tell him that being boastful is not a nice thing to do...make sure he UNDERSTANDS what boasting is ...tell him that if he changes his behavior then you'll buy him somthing or take him somewhere(like the zoo) and if he doesnt start to change take a way things he likes..and give him the talk every time..

Answer 4

tell him it is rude and if he doesn't stop just ground him (take away toys, no computer:(, Tv etc etc)

Answer 5

normal to be boastful if noone has told you that it can annoy people. Have a talk to him, he learns from those around him, so you need to teach him the right way to act

Answer 6

I think that in some ways it is good that your kid is quite boastful as it shows that he/she has a really good high self esteem and believes in himself.  I have a child who is the opposite and always saying how bad she does things, eventhough it is not true.

You could sit down with your child and tell him/her that you think that they are very clever and good at whatever they are boasting about but that it is sometimes not a good way to act in front of other people.  Tell him/her that sometimes other children get a bit jealous that they are not as good at things and that going on about it a lot may make the other kids upset, and maybe make them not want to play with him/her.  

Tell him/her that you are proud of what they do but that boasting so much is not polite and that  you want him/her to try really hard to not talk in that way and to listen a bit more to what the other kids are saying and doing.  

I do think that boasting is fairly normal for children of that age though.

Answer 7

Re- direct a boast...say he boasts about something, then say, and what did your friend Tommy do today? Ask him about others around him, what they like, how they are. Just change his train of thought and keep him focused on others, not himself.

Give him a little more attention to. He's craving it most likely.

Answer 8

Why does this child have such low self esteem?  The reason this child is like this is because he has low self esteem and obviously doesn't like who he is.

Answer 9

Tell him noone likes someone who boasts and that he needs to stop.Maybe start to take away some things he boasts about like for instance a toy that he boasts about.Boasting people really annoy me and sometimes the reason they do it is because they feel people aren't encouraging them enough and so they basically encourage themselves.

Answer 10

the key to your problem is proper discipline for your child



Discipline

If you've spent years grappling with a difficult and troublesome toddler and preschooler, you may well breathe a sigh of relief when the school days come along.

Discipline for misbehaving

You may imagine that because your child now has a lot of language and increasing maturity, discipline matters can be talked through. You may think the influence of school will add another dimension to create a child who is self-controlled, listens to reason and generally presents very few problems.

To an extent this may be true, but as any parent of children in the middle childhood age group will tell you, this doesn't mean there are no problems, or that discipline isn't an issue at all!

Life is, in many ways, much harder for your school age child. Many adults no longer see them as 'cute' and expectations for your child to behave well are very powerful, both from you and teachers. There can also be criticism from friends, teachers and you when your child gets things wrong.

Your child may use more sophisticated language, not only to negotiate sensibly with you but to deceive you if she wishes, and to answer back defiantly or rebel against you!

Misbehaviour in school age children may also have a more complicated basis.

A seven-year-old may constantly break things because her co-ordination is still not perfect, but she may do it to attract your attention to the fact she's finding it tough to live up to all the complicated new rules in her life.

Too many orders such as: "Do this" and "Don't do that", and being quick to criticise: "How could you?" and "Don't be so stupid", can be very hard to take for a child.

Main discipline problems

    * fighting with siblings

    * fighting with friends

    * answering back to you or teachers

    * bullying

    * lying

    * stealing

    * refusing to obey when asked to do something

    * refusing to carry out chores

    * lack of manners

    * showing off and being silly (at the younger end giggling about bodily functions, loudly passing wind or talking about bottoms).

It is in these years that positive discipline is essential for behaviour management.

This involves:

    * giving most attention to the good behaviour you want to encourage

    * ignoring minor 'naughty' behaviour as much as possible

    * only using punishment for really serious misbehaviour

Tips for positive discipline

Accept that your child is bound to want to assert her independence - answering back or not doing as she's told can often be a way of demonstrating this. She'll have a natural desire to show she's got a mind of her own.

Talk about independence issues, using explanations and reasoning - practise good communication and reflective listening. Communication is vital in the school age years as there's so much to discuss and negotiate when children are seeking new freedom. It's always a balance between independence and safety.

Reassure your school age child - she may sometimes act as if she doesn't need you and is very independent, but she still needs a lot of love and reassurance.

Regular routines are still important - set mealtimes and times for homework. Rules are still needed which are consistent and firm - it's important to keep reviewing rules throughout middle childhood, and changing them as your child becomes more competent.

Try not to give too many orders - describe what you want your child to do. Too many orders may overwhelm your child.

Make time to talk and listen carefully to your child about what's going on at school or with friends - keep an eye out for any worries that may make behaviour worse.

Try to use specific praise, describing exactly what it's being given for - "I like the way you cleared away all your books without being asked", not just "You're a good girl for tidying."

Let minor misbehaviour go - stay calm and avoid arguments as much as possible. Keep criticisms to a minimum - only criticise a behaviour, not your child. "That was a thoughtless thing to do" rather than "You're always so thoughtless."

A 'stuck record' approach can sometimes work well - calmly repeat what you expect your child to do. This avoids pointless arguments.

Consequences - if disappointment, mild disapproval or ignoring doesn't work to change a behaviour, relying on these can be useful, for example: if she doesn't hang up her coat, she probably won't be able to find it next time she's going out.

Distraction - when siblings argue you could say: "Why don't you both play that video game you like." If your child is in a bad mood, try something like: "Would you like to go swimming? We haven't been for a while".

Humour - can work well with school age children. If your child is whining, you could say in a silly and exaggerated voice: "I don't want to go to bed either - I want to stay up and party all night".

Rewards and bribes?

You may feel uncertain about how to handle giving rewards or privileges - "You can watch TV if you do your homework" or "I'll give you a treat if you clean out the garage." You might worry that your child will get to a point where she'll only behave well in order to receive something.

It's a difficult balance to strike between giving tangible rewards - for example, for doing chores - and expecting them to be done as part of a child's growing contribution to the family.

There's probably no clear-cut answer for every family and every situation. You need to work out the balance with individual children and according to the way your family is organised.

Good ways to reward children

All school age children should be expected to do at least some small chores, even if it's only tidying away their own things. It will depend on your child's age and the amount of time left after school, homework and other activities. Chores could include emptying bins, hanging up washing or setting the table. If possible it's better to negotiate with your child what she might be happiest doing - this ensures having it done more cheerfully.

    * For extra tasks, additional to a child's regular jobs, you may want to offer some reward - this might be for cleaning the family car or weeding the garden. Just as we expect some reward for our efforts in the real world, there's nothing wrong with sometimes rewarding your child's efforts.

    * Doing something together - a special outing, allowing a video rental, making a favourite meal - these are better rewards than money for most school age children. Make it clear this is an extra way of showing your appreciation, but that normal chores and good behaviour are still expected and not rewarded in this way.

    * It motivates some children to clearly work towards a reward. Teachers use gold stars and point systems all the time. You could adapt this by giving tokens or completing starcharts. When a certain number are gained, a reward is earned. It might be that you want your child to go to bed at a certain time without an argument - each time she manages this, she gets a star. After an agreed number, you give a reward.