What to do about an alcoholic dad?

Question

My dad is an alcoholic, but doesnt realize it. Almost every night, he either goes out to his favorite restaurant/bar and orders several crown and cokes, or comes home and drinks. My mom and I ahve tried talking to him, but he just becomes extremely angry (because his father was an alcoholic and he despised him for it) and he acts out. It has become physical in many occasions, but hasnt happened in a while. Now, since he is the only source of income for our family, he holds money from my mom. He wont give her any money for food or bills or anything.

Answer 1

state an intervention

bring him to a psyciatrist

this is a very hard thing to deal with

you should take it to the professionals

Answer 2

1. Unless your dad admits he is an alcoholic and wants help, there is nothing you can do to help him. Believe me, he will only get worse. Call AA and ask them where you can find a meeting for the family of an alcoholic. You will find your problem is a very common one, and you are not alone. If you live near a large city, there are meetings morning, afternoon, and evening. Go to one while he is working.

2. Have your mother call a divorce attorney, get a restraining order against your father, and let the police move him out. You will not have to move, but he will. He will also have to pay the rent or house payment, utility bills, car payment, and give money for food and living expenses. Once he sees your mother is serious, it may shock him into quitting. If he really loves your mom and you, he will stop drinking. If he doesn't stop, you will still be better off than living in fear and shame every day of your life.

Answer 3

your dad knows he's an alchie, but like all addicts he is selfish and does not care about how his actions affect other people.  

Answer 4

thats a tough one. love can be so binding. all you can do is start to distance yourself. you have already tried talkng to him. as for your mom that is going to be hard for her to get away, especially if she still loves him. no matter how down you and her are on your luck there is always a way out. a help line, a shelter, or a family member. if money would be her main reason to stay then unemployment, disablitiy or welfare are always options. you can not make him get sober, he has to want it. maybe you two leaving will make him want it bad enough. just remeber you never have to stay in a bad situation, there is help. you only stay out of fear or laziness. good luck.

Answer 5

I think your mom need to get a separate bank account and get a job to help you and if so, other siblings. You need to get your family, his friends, co workers or anyone. Get him into a room, lock it. And make him realize hes a alcoholic. That hes hurts those around him. Also, if your over 16, try to get a small job to help your mother also.

I wish you a lot of luck!

:)

Answer 6

OH MY GOSH!!!

i know exactly how you feeel, EXACTLY!

my mother is an alcoholic, and it upsets me so much.

i've been reading these comments and as much as these might help you, i don't think they'll work for me.

you see my dad is almost always gone for business, and my brother is never home either. my mom and i are close, but thats during the day, when i like her. she is wasted everynight, she drinks soo much wine. when she's drunk i try to ignore the things she says, she can be funny, but not normally. she says really hurtful things to me and calls me names all because i may be sitting on the couch and i don't  hear that the dog wants in so she has to go open the door. she'll screamt that im a lazy *****, and i don't deserve the stuff she gives me. i try to ignore it but sometimes i go to bed crying. it's never fun for me. my friends think im lucky, i can do anything i want after 10 because she goes the her bedroom or passes out on the couch, they just tell me it would be great to have my mother because she won't know when i sneak out, or when my friends sneak in. sometimes i just think her habbits rub off on me, because my friends come over and when she passes out we make martinis and things like that. lately it feels like my life at home has just fallen apart, i know this isn't an answer at all, but i just wanted to vent, and after reading your story, i knew you could relate. you probably haven't even read this whole thing, but i'm going to tyr to do some of that stuff your answers say.

Answer 7

Nobody other than your dad can make him stop drinking.  You are in a very codependent relationship.  Your mom needs to get strong and independent and try to get a job.  At first your dad will be upset and probably drink even more.  But she needs to be strong so she can break that cycle.  She needs to move on with her life and hopefully your dad will realize what he is losing and stop drinking.  I'm sorry.

Answer 8

Iam 24 years old and understand what your dealing with my dad was the same way fun when he was drunk unless he got mad then he was violent and his father was the same way so when we tried to talk to him about it he would get mad we didn't get along when he was sober either it was really hard on the family he got 3 dui's him and my mom got divorced but nobody could help him until he helped him self he tryed more then once to get clean and failed but we supported him till he got it now me and him are closer then ever So just try to hold on and hopefully it will work out  

Answer 9

I grew up the same way...IT SUCKS!!!

But basically if my dad was sober..He was a GROUCH!!!!

Hungover he was hilarious:

Drunk..Fun to a point then an A**

If you are scared then I would talk to him and explain that to him.

Maybe talk to a school counseler and see if they can help you.

Maybe you and your mom need to take a short vacation and let him know you mean business and you 2 are not going to put up with it.

Go stay at your grandma's house or a hotel for the weekend or week and see if it dawns on him that you have had enough!

You ever watch INTERVENTION on T.V?? Maybe you will have to do something like that??

Talk to him and beg him to get some help!

Good Luck ;o)

Answer 10

Well I see where you are coming from.

And it is hard to answer this since I don't know from experience.

But what I do know.

Is you and your mom should try to get some professional help and have them come to your home or something and talk to him. Maybe getting him to go to AA or another rehabilitation center.

He may not know what it is doing to him. Or refuse to believe it.

But in all actuality he is killing himself by drinking so much. His liver will eventually shut down. And maybe you should get your mom to try to find a job and that way he isn't the only source of income and that he won't have all the money. So just try something. Because you don't want your dad to die before you graduate high school or get married or have your first child do you??

Answer 11

Write some shows like, Dr.Phil...Call his doctor..Ask other people for help outside of the home! Good luck hun

Answer 12

Inform the local law enforcement when he stops after work. They will stop him after he leaves the bar. It can be expensive, but it may cause him to think about seeking help. Yours is a tough situation. Most alcoholics won't seek help until they hit rock bottom. Good Luck to you!