What to do about borrowed item returned damaged... Pic included.. : )

Question

I lent this evening top to my Sister in law. She had it for ages and finally returned it after months, but she returned it clearly unwashed and stained with who knows what on the breast. I have not yet tried to wash it, i am really annoyed at her.. what can i do without being to confrontational to make it known to her that she has ruined the top and should feel ashamed of herself for returning it to me in this condition! And she actually had the nerve to ask to borrow it again!!!!

I am really fuming about it! What would you do??

Answer 1

Maybe you should try washing it and see if it comes out.  Or ask her about it first to find out what it is.

Answer 2

Ummm...you ask "What can I do without being confrontational?"

Are ya nuts?  This is a situation that DEMANDS a confrontation.  She ruined your clothing, then returned it without an apology.  Sometimes in life, you have to stand up for yourself.  You need to call her and ask her to have the dress cleaned.

Answer 3

Call her up and say "Hey, I'm doing laundry and I need to know what to pretreat with. What did you get on my shirt? It doesn't look like it will come out."

Answer 4

When she asked to borrow it again, you should have told her no, because you have yet to get the stain out that she left the last time.  

Or you can return the dirty stained blouse to her and tell her in a condescending tone that she can keep it since she already did a number on it anyway.  (What?  Did she think you would dry clean it for her?)  

You should have addressed the issue the moment you found the stain.  So what if it stirs things up a bit?  She destroyed your shirt.

Answer 5

Give me her email, I'll send her a link of the question, and it'll work itself out.

This is why men hate us, you know. You complain to literally the whole world but refuse to do anything practical about it.  

Answer 6

She "should feel ashamed of herself for returning it to me in this condition!"

What is the difference whether she is ashamed or not?  Why should you care about THAT?

"she actually had the nerve to ask to borrow it again!!!!"

Do you owe her money?  Did she risk her life to save yours?

Stop being a door mat.  Forget about the top for now.  The next time she wants to borrow your clothing, say NO and say why.

Answer 7

I can not believe that she actually returned the blouse in that condition and had the nerve to ask to wear it again.

But, what really concerns me is your lack of confidence to call her out on it!  I think that you are not a confrontational and that's probably the reason that she did this and knows that it doesn't matter.

She's even throwing it in your face that you accepted it WITH stains and she expects YOU to clean it.

So, I would call her and innocently tell her about the stain and ask her why she didn't have it cleaned.

Of course, she will deny it and will make you feel that you did it.

Don't argue with her.  Just (in a soft voice) say "are you sure you didn't do it or was just not aware of it?"

She will become defensive and angry at you.

At this point, tell her that this argument will never be resolved.  So, just agree to disagree.

Then, firmly tell her that you will not loan any more clothes to her EVER again.

If she gets indignant, remain calm and just don't return the angry. Just repeat:  I will not loan you my clothes anymore.  And, then say...oh, I've gotta run.  Talk with you later.

Bye- Bye.

Next.

Answer 8

WOW...It was so inciderate of her to return your blouse in such condition. By the looks, I'd say that is silk or satin both require dry cleaning. I'd have it cleaned and present her with the bill. Ask for borrowing it again, that would be a "Sorry no"

Answer 9

If you can just let her borrow it and let her keep it, why do you need a table top that is that damaged??? Just let her have it as a reminder of the mess she did...that's what i would do anyways!

Answer 10

I would also be upset. Would of asked her what happened to the top when you first saw it.Tell her you are upset because you loved the top and since you don't know what she spilled on it, you don't know what to tell the cleaner.

I would never loan her anything again.Why should you go out of your way to spare her feelings when she obviously doesn't care what you think.