What to do about cheating? When is enough enough?

Question

I think i made a mistake in my previous email.Just to give more info. We have 2 children together and I have daughter from my first marriage.thankyou for all the advice everyone has given so far.

Answer 1

He says you don't need a third party but wasn't s******g another woman involving a third party?

Get yourself checked for STD's so you don't end up with a nasty disease and go get counseling for yourself

Answer 2

Oh honey, once is enough. You do not deserve that. Even if he never cheated again, everytime he is out of your sight, your gonna wonder. It will drive you insane. You cant live like that. That trust will never fully be restored.

Answer 3

Sounds like a habitual cheater. Its not a reflection of you, but I bet he would cheat on anyone. Some people feel trapped by commitment and cheating is an escape.

I am sure he loves you in his own way, but you have to do what is best for you and your son. Its not healthy raising a son with a father who does not respect his marriage vows.

Best of luck with your decision.

Answer 4

Enough is enough the first time he cheated on you.  Have some dignity and get out.  Plenty of fish out there.

Answer 5

You should leave him.  It might hurt worse in the short term to leave him, but in the long term, it will hurt less, because if you stay with him you'll have to deal with this until your dying day.

Answer 6

You life is out of control because your allowing other to control you.  Your husband is playing you and your allowing it.  I was in your shoes in my first marriage, the cheating continued for sixteen years, I have heard all the excuses but what it comes down to, I allowed it and never put a stop to it.  You can do the same thing or you can stop it now by filing for a divorce, this will get his attention and do one or two things, one he will come around and do whatever he can to save the marriage, or it will allow him to continue with the cheating without guilt.  Your the one with the power here, stop letting others run your life.  Good luck sweetie.

Answer 7

Looks to me like enough was enough a long time ago.  He is CLEARLY not committed to you.  Time to end things so he can s***w around as a single guy rather than a married guy.  There are plenty of good men - truly good men - who would be thrilled to be with a good woman.  Cut this idiot loose and move on.

Answer 8

while you are taking time to consider your feelings and trying to make sense of his nonsense, please make sure you work on an "emergency plan".  

your "emergency plan" should include where and how you will stay without your husband,  how you will be able to support the kids financially, and how you will make your own money to support yourself without your husband.  this "emergency plan" should be worked on for the same amount of time you're working on your marriage.  it is a backup plan because, as we all suspect, at some point you're going to realize that you can get alimony and child support, plus retain the same military benefits, should you decide to stop waiting on him and file papers for divorce yourself.

once the divorce papers are in it'll be time to begin implementing the "emergency plan".  

Answer 9

honestly, that's a question for you and God.  Only you know when you have had enough.  I can sit here and say all day.."girl leave, he aint this, you just that blaa blaa blaa"  Who are we to judge, that's your call.  Stay strong and remember to put your baby first!!

Answer 10

Enough was enough several years ago. Gather up a little dignity and self-respect and divorce this Neanderthal already. Do you approve of him sleeping with cheap, home-wrecking whores? No? By doing nothing you show him that you condone his disgusting behavior, so do something.

Answer 11

Everyone has their own idea of what a marriage is. Mine is two people forever - not any others on the side at any time. If people want to s***w around then don't marry, save that for the monogamous ones. It sounds like you are in pain. The one you love put you there. That is wrong in every sense! He is less than a man if he can't get in to a counselor with you and admit to his wrongdoing. He agreed at first, but then when you wanted to physically go with him, he backed out. He doesn't want a "third party" to tell him what he has done. He doesn't want to be present in a room to hear the emotional damage he's inflicted upon you, his wife that he promised to love above all others. You deserve more from this life. If he doesn't want to try and he's already cheated, chances are wonderfully high that he has no intentions of changing his nasty ways. You hold your head high and get out of there. Live with your parents, relative, or friends, get back to school to learn a skill you love, and be the best mom you can be. Your future will hold someone who will love you the way you want and need to be. Form a plan and stick with it. Your husband must have some sort of issues - hopefully one day he'll find what he is looking for and realize what he has lost. I am sorry for the situation you are in and change can be scary, but perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.