What to do about daily 4 YO tantrum?

Question

My 4 YO son was a late talker and so has always found it easier pointing and crying/pouting when something happens that he doesn't want to happen.

Right now he's lying down crying because I moved his cup from one place to another...yesterday it was something else..day before same, day before that, same, etc.

Repeat the following daily: I tell him when something happens that doesn't make him happy it's not OK to cry - it's only OK to talk. And then I tell I will be in the other room until he settles down and talks about what he wants because when he talks that's when he gets what he wants.

Now I'm sitting here knowing he can carry on his crying for 20-30 minutes or more.

Since this is not improving - or at least not consistantly improving - what should I do?

I try not to feed into it - but am I doing too much waiting it out and ignoring?

Answer 1

TIME OUT!! my 4 yo is a constant whiner!! When he dosen't get his way andstarts the crying thing i put him in his bed and tell him to sit there without any tv or toys until he calms down...walk away and dont give in! it might be hard at first but he will get the idea!

Answer 2

No, it's good to wait it out and ignore his tantrums. It's also good to show him that using his words is more powerful. Maybe reward him somehow with a hug or a "good job!" when he uses words to express how he is feeling. My mom told me that when I was younger to get me to stop throwing tantrums she said "Cherise, when you feel like screaming just say 'i am frustrated' and then we can talk about it.' She said it helped dramatically.

It sounds like you are doing a good job, maybe just encourage the words a little more instead of rebuking his first behavior.

Answer 3

If he throws a tantrum for no reason then put him in a room alone and tell him that when he's ready to calm down he can come out.

When he is calm is the time to talk about what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Do not respond to any crying, pointing and refusal to talk (which it seems like you are doing already).

The only way to correct the behavior at this age is to ignore it and not feed into it.