What to do about his family?

Question

Ok my boyfriends sister has been nothing but rude to me since she found out I was pregnant. He says the reasoning behind that is that she cant have children so its kind of hard for her to accept anyone else in the family having children. Last night was the final draw with this whole thing. His mother was in a wreck so everyone came over to see her at the house (including his ex fiance whom is also pregnant not by him) I have learned to get over her b/c my boyfriend is still friends with her so I am doing my best to be nice. His sister however used this situation to her advantage and completly cut me out last night and made me feel like an outcast. It was like his ex was part of the family again and I was just on the side hangin out. The whole family saw what was going on and a few made comments to me about it b/c they felt bad. I left b/c I couldnt take it emotionally. My boyfriend made up and excuse for his sister once again and I told him im tired of his sis being a bit**.

Answer 1

No you certainly did not over-react.

I would have done the same thing. It's no excuse to treat someone like c**p. I had to same problem with my boyfriends sister. I am currently pregnant, but it's not why she treats me like c**p.

She always used to be like "My brother deserves better" or "your just trash" and "I will Never share a last name with you". I used to get so upset. My boyfriend and his sister have different moms, same dad.

I used to just put up with it, and after enough abuse. I was done. I just couldn't put up with it anymore.

His sister then did some mean things and it got back to my boyfriends mom. His mom was mad at him for god knows why or what she told him about me.. Now, he wants nothing to do with her. I kinda feel bad because they are family, but not because she did it to her self.

His sisters name is Erica Nicole.

I used to LOVE that name.

Now, I hate it.

I wouldn't dare give my baby, if its a girl, ANY part of her name.

I think you did the right thing by walking out. and your boyfriend will eventually learn how bit**y his sister is. and if she doesn't stop will eventually lose him as a brother..

Good Luck. as I am still going through it my self anyway.

Answer 2

My husbands grandmother still makes jabs at me because we got pregnant while we were engaged and I just tolerate her. But if he had wanted to name our child after her, I would have said no way. I am sure that your boyfriend's sister will get over it when she gets to see your beautiful baby. Good luck :)

Answer 3

i dont think you over reacted at all, and id tell him NO WAY on naming my daughter after a person who disrespects me, your the mother, you get to fill out the birth information and pick her name, dont let him force you to name your little girl after a family member of his who treats you like c**p. id say too bad, maybe if she was nice and respected me more id consider it but she doesnt, so im not considering it and we can talk about a middle name and agree on one we both like.

Answer 4

He needs to defend YOU! I have an evil sister in law too. I was 18 when I got pregnant and she was wildly angry with me because she wanted to have the first grandchild for her parents.  She is 35 and had plenty of time to have her own kids. She wants to wait till shes 40.

i am lucky in the sense that my hubby doesnt like his sister and i call his sis a fat cow all the time when im frusterated with her. he doesnt mind...he even pushed her in the pool last time she was mean to me.

Answer 5

Yes.  You're going to be a mom now, so now's as good a time as any to grow up and be the bigger person.  Let her treat you however she wants -- your job is to focus on treating your baby and the father of your baby well.  That's it.  If she wants to act like a baby and cause a whole bunch of drama, let her.  What does it matter to you?  You should feel secure enough in your relationship to let it just roll off your back.  Don't waste energy getting upset about petty dramas like this --  you have a life growing inside of you that you need to focus on and care for and a relationship with your baby's father to continue to work on!

Answer 6

I wouldn't say another word about her, I just wouldn't let her around the baby when it's born.  That will "get to her" more than anything else you could do or say.  h**l NO I wouldn't give my baby her middle name, not when she can't treat you right.  What a lame excuse, she treats you bad because she can't have kids.  Even more reason for her to look forward to yours!  Get brave and confront her, say I don't know what your problem is latley, but if you can't find a way to be any nicer to me than you have been, you can forget spending any time with MY child!  See what happens!

Answer 7

I agree with the other answers. You were not out of line and I would not give the baby her name. If he insist well you fill out the birth certificate and don't say a word about it. I would back off from the entire family for a while. You might consider just letting the sister know that you are not going to be bullied by her.

Answer 8

I don't think that u were wrong at all. She is wrong & if she is unable to have children u would think she would see how much of a miracle a baby is and be happy for you.

He shouldnt just sit back..and let her do these things. He should sit her down in private and talk to her. He needs to have your back. Its not about family vs girlfriend..but right vs wrong and u dont let ppl do things that are wrong to ppl u love without speaking up about it. Period! The fact that he jumped to her defense would have pissed me off even more and he and his sister both were wrong in this case.

Answer 9

One thing for sure..She just does not like you, and he is making up stupid excuses for her.. This will probably go on your whole lives together. My sil and I do not get along, but have gotten to the point of being "nice" when we get together. We have had some whopper "discussions" about things too..So, be gracious, and dont let them see you as the b-word, but rather her..Try to be kind, as her if there is anything you can do, and just kill her with kindness..