What to do about mooching mother...?

Question

I know this will sound odd, but it's true all the way.

I am 21, work full time and have been paying ALL the bills for the last 2 years. Over time I have some how took on all of them, my mother makes more than I do and yet won't split the bills.

I pay all of the phone bill, which she is the only one who uses it, I may use it once a month or so , but I have my own cell phone. I pay all of the cable bill, she is the only one who really watches it, I work all the time and when I come home and have a few hours before I have to go to bed I rarely if ever turn the TV on, matter of fact it hasn't been on for a week now. I also pay 90% of rent. Just this morning she put on a note on my door asking me to start paying for half of HER cigarettes, I don't even smoke, so why should I have to flip for this pleasure?

I'm tired of cleaning up after her messes, you'd think I would be the irresponsible one, but it's the other way around. I'm too tired and frustrated to deal with all of this anymore. I am in the process of moving out, yet it is hard to save up to move when all my money is spent on bills that should be rightfully at least split.

What should I do? I have to leave for work and I just know it's going to be a bad day.

Answer 1

You have three choices:

Change the phone plan and cable package to the cheapest one there is, and tell her that you are not paying for her smokes....

or

Look for a place to stay until you can get your own.

or

Lay the bills on the table with half of the money in a money order. Make a detailed letter.

Mom:

For the month of July:

Cable: $70/ my half $35.00

Phone: $80/ my half $40.00

Rent: $600/ my half $300.00

Food: I do not eat at home

Cigarettes: I do not smoke

My half totals $375.00 which is satisfied in full by this money order. (Money order #0000000)

Make a copy of the letter and money order each month.

Do not give her a dime more.

She is not going to start being responsible.

She is used to taking advantage of you.

BTW: She can not kick you out. She would have to legally evict you.

Best wishes

Answer 2

Clearly you must have a good job, if you are able to pay so much.

Move out, get your own place, and don't tell your mother until you're out completely. Don't give her your new address, but let her have your cell phone number for emergencies. Tell her she can go to her bank and arrange to have the bills paid by direct debit, so that she won't forget.

Tell her she has to start paying her own bills now, and if she wants to know the last straw, it's the fact that she has asked you to pay for half of her cigarettes when you don't even smoke.