What to do about my boyfriend's best friend?

Question

My boyfriend's best mate is really annoying me!! He always puts me down and then if you confront him, says he was only joking and I can't take a joke, when it's obvious he wasn't joking! He has on occasion made me cry, which is so stupid of me, letting him get to me but I can't help it. He acts like he's better and more good looking than everyone else and openly says he could be a model. (He's not that great in my book!) Even though my boyfriend agrees with me his friend's behaviour to me is unacceptable, he won't do anything. His friend seems to have a hold on him. He says nasty things about my boyfriend behind his back as well but again, when I tell my boyfriend this he won't confront him. Do you think his friend is jealous of our relationship? He had a girlfriend who he was very much in love with but it had to end due to her moving to another country... I've tried so hard to get along with this guy, I am easy-going and get on with most people. I'm not sure what to do to make the situation better. I feel like I'm being bullied at 21, which is ridiculous! I do let my boyfriend have boys only nights with his mates so its not like I'm being too clingy. I hate arguing!

Answer 1

There only put downs, I just can't believe how

this can influence you,  so what, he's not perfect.

You are too serious.

Answer 2

The Bf's friend is jealous oh so jealous of your relationship.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like your BF's best buddy is wickedly jealous.  Sure, let your boyfriend have is boys night  out now & then, but you don't have to let him in your house.

One suggestion is to tell your boyfriend that his best friend is not welcome in your house.  Doesn't matter what kind of excuses are used to argue the point.  Stay firm in this.  If your boyfriend can't see that his best friend is causing you a lot of grief, tension, & trouble, then maybe it's time to look for someone a little more mature to date.

Good luck.  I know it's not much but I hope it helps somewhat.

Answer 4

Wow, what a jerk!

As you mentioned, he may be feeling a bit bitter and resentful after his girlfriend left but he doesn't have to take it out on you!

I would speak privately with your boyfriend and tell him that it's becoming a problem. If he cares enough, he will have a word with his best friend. If nothing happens, I would just be very strong and brush aside his comments - he's got to be insecure or crazy or something.

If you have the courage, do what I do and fight back. If he thinks he's so gorgeous, just tell him point blank that he's not.

He's bound to cry or something.

Okay after reading that, that doesn't seem that great an idea haha, but if you want to get along with him, find common ground or even ask how he's doing ever since his girlfriend left. I'm sure he'll be touched that you care so much.

It's a really tough problem you're having, sorry if I haven't been much help! Good luck!

Answer 5

Ask yourself why are you spending any time at all in this persons prescence?! You are in a relationship with your boyfriend. There is absolutely no need whatsoever for you to spend any time with his so-called best friend. He's clearly not your friend, why have him in your life?

Choose to not be bullied, choose to decide who you spend your precious life time with. Announce your choices only when asked about them.

Sooner or later your boyfriend will tumble that his best friend is a destructive influence on his relationship with you if you refuse to go anywhere that this person will be and if you refuse to entertain this person in your home.

Good luck

Answer 6

I once had this trouble, in the end the only thing that worked was to be sickeningly nice to him; when he criticised me I would say "You know i really think you have a point there, I will try to address that, thanks for your honesty"etc. eventually he refused to go out if I was going to be there- job done.I think you should enthusiastically agree he could be a model/brain surgeon/king of the universe. Act as though you are his biggest fan, explain to your boy friend that you think his friend is insecure and needs support. Once you have really messed with his head he will crawl back under his stone. Watch out for the nervous tic, it is a sign you are really succeeding.

Answer 7

Your boyfriend is just an immature w@nker and scared of His mate taking the p*ss out of Him if He defends You. Get rid, or You'll be hoovering under His feet while He watches the match.

Answer 8

Hello!  First of all you seem like a reasonable girl from what you've told us here.  You could very well have hit the nail on the head with the 'jealousy' suspicion.  I would probably guess that this friend is feeling a little out of it especially as he has lost a girl he really loves.  The best thing to do is to talk to your boyfriend again and let him know that it is unacceptable for his friend to put you down.  It is up to your boyfriend to have a word with him.  You have to come number one in this situation.  I hope everything works out for you and best of luck.  

Answer 9

Maybe he likes you?!

And he's trying to split you guys up!