OK. This is a long story but I'll try to summarize. My questioning of my boyfriend started about 3 months ago when he emailed his ex one night and lied to me about it when I asked him straight out. I found out he did when he left his email account up one morning and I saw the sent email to her from that night. Since then that exact thing has happened again which made me question his honesty even more.
Lately, he has been emailing with a friend from middle school. This friend, we'll call her Sue, is a girl that he had a crush on in 6th grade and she found him again and began making comments about him being nice to look at etc. His emails to her contained things like calling her babe, love, and beautiful; ending the emails with "muah"; telling her that his girlfriend is pregnant but the relationship is "rocky" and he is "not married wink wink." When I found one of these emails I confronted him about it and he assured me that nothing was going on, they were just friends and he didn't realize saying things like that would hurt me because it meant nothing to him. He said he would email her and tell her that they couldn't talk anymore if they were going to flirt that way because it had hurt me. The next day I found this new email that supposedly was telling her not to talk like that anymore. Turns out what he really wrote was more of the pet names and even told her that he would like to hang out sometime "on the down low because" he "didn't need any drama from it." I confronted him about this email. He said he only wrote that to see if I would look again and that it was a set-up. We had a big fight and he promised not to write to her anymore if I wasn't comfortable with it. I told him I didn't know if I was yet and he said he'd wait until I was ready. Two days ago I saw him writing to her again from the kitchen. I asked what he was doing and he said he was writing to her to prove to me that I could trust him and that from now until I felt like I could trust him again that I could ask to read his emails whenever I wanted and that would be OK because he had nothing to hide. The email that night was innocent enough so I agreed to that exception. The next day I asked if he had wrote to her again and asked to read the email. He got defensive and said that I was jealous and stupid and ignorant and that I shouldn't have to read his emails to see what he was writing. I got angry and told him that if he had something to hide then that would explain him going back on his agreement and if that was the case then I was finished being lied to. He calmed down when he saw that I was seriously going to leave and let me read it. I wasn't pleased with his reaction and the fact that this time he was "trying to set her up" with "a friend of his" when she came down to the area. He has no single friends, I was suspicious of that but didn't mention it at the time. I figured I would just ask to read the replies the next day. Last night I asked him again if he talked to her during the day while he was home. He got defensive again and said he didn't but I must have snooped in his email. I told him that didn't make sense, if he didn't then it wouldn't matter if I looked or not, even though I didn't, and that he obviously was trying to hide something again. He stormed off and I dropped the subject for now. I'm planning on asking him again tonight to read them because the more he gets defensive and angry about the agreement that HE suggested, the more I suspect and worry that he is seriously planning on cheating. I want to be able to trust him and let him show me that I can do that again. We're having a baby together and he says he wants to get married but I can not pretend that none of this bothers me or forget that it's happening and hope it will just go away. I also can not assume that he is going to do what he says he is and not talk to her that way again, because based on his previous actions, he will do the exact opposite of what he tells me he will.. if he wants to. What should I do now? Do you think he is going to cheat on me, or could this really just be a friendly relationship like he insists?
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