What to do about my child?

Question

I am not sure what to do anymore.. and wondering if there are more people out there going through this....

what do I do with her? my daughter is 10 years old, and is so miserable, she is always moody and bored. she never plays in her room or with her toys. she is always pouting and complaining. I have to constantly tell her to clean her room, take a shower, brush her teeth. She listens to her dad, but when it comes to me its like I am talking to the wall. I have tried grounding, taking things away, nothing works.. she is only happy if she has a friend over to play all the time. how can I get her to entertain herself and be happy? I try to get her involved in reading books this summer, she fights me on that, tried to get her to get creative and decorate her room, that didnt work. we cant afford to put her in summer school this summer or go places, so she is home with me all summer. any suggestions? I am frustrated and she is frustrated.... help

Answer 1

I understand. My daughter is eleven and seems to need a constant friend to buddy around with.

I plan a lot of sleepovers and try to network around with other moms. But sometimes I can't always have someone over or make arrangements for her to go off with friends.

I realize you want her to play by her self or be happy entertaining herself but girls that age are so social and they judge themselves on what friends are interested in and "being in the know" on girl stuff.

Maybe when she can't have a friend over she could work on a  scrapbook of her with her friends.

Give her a disposable camera and buy $ store scrapbook stuff and let her make a book to share with her friends.

Answer 2

same thing happened with me..  have her tested for ADD or ADHD, she could have a learning disability.

Answer 3

Does the local library have a teen club?  Our local library has once a week teen meetings around crafts, books etc.  

Could she be a reading buddy to a younger child at the local library?  Are there any teen bible camps at your local church?

Would she go swimming at the public pool with you, kick a soccer ball around in the park with you, go for a hike with you?  Are there any free busker festivals coming near you to which you could go just the 2 of you?  (Try to google busker and the name of your town) Perhaps if you do something fun together, just the 2 of you,  you will be more than someone who is constantly telling her things. (I know I find myself not having enough fun with my kids.  I hate it when I feel like the family foreman all the time.)  

Perhaps around the house she would enjoy baking a cake with you, learning to sew with you or scrapbooking.  A shared activity might help her feel closer to you.   10 is early to be starting this behaviour to this degree.  You need to develop a good relationship to get you through the turbulent 12 to 16 years.  

Good Luck with your summer.

Answer 4

She is also going through puberty.  Stop harping on cleaning her room, it is normal for kids to have messy rooms, and believe it or not they will clean up...on their own time.  Have her help you with the meal menu plannings, grocery shopping and preparing the family meals.  Take her to the library and both of you pick out books with similar topics and discuss what you've read every day.  Find a new recipe and both of you work on it together.  Start a daily walking schedule.  Also you can start having "sleep over" nights where you kick dad out of the master bedroom, if you have a tv/vcr/dvd player in the bedroom get a bunch of movies she likes.  Pop mass quantities of popcorn, get soda, ice cream (all slumber party foods) Then YOU become a 10 year old as well and enjoy the evening as that 10 year old.