What to do about my mom?

Question

My mom is forty-four. She got divorced from my abusive father, and he's been in nursing school for the past five years and graduated this May(2008) . She really wasn't around when she was in school, I pretty much raised myself, she was really depressed and couldn't make ends meet. She was abusive to my brothers and I when we were younger, however now that we're all bigger than her, she's not. She's still really depressed, and has always been pessimistic about her dying. She's always been stressed and she's had heart pappilations alot. She keeps saying she'll probably die by the end of the year. Tonight she was nearly crying and apologizing about how me and my brothers have had such a horrible childhood, just saying how she wants to just "drop dead." I'm really really worried about her. She has money now, but I really need to do something for her. Is there anywhere I can send her? Not like rehab, she doesn't have a drug problem or alcohol addiction. I'm just lost on what to do. I want to help her before it's too late. Please please please, help me and my family. I'm from Boston, so if anyone can recommendd ANY places at all to send her, please, let me know.

Regards,

Dollie.

Answer 1

im so sorry umm try sitting her down and talking to her about it tell some lies to her about how youve had a great childhood and that she was the one who made you have a great childhood tell her is she wants to die and she dies it will really hurt you and ur brothers. some people dont have a parent, i lost my dad and it hurts so tell her you want her to stay and there is nothing she should be crying about she is a good mom reason with her do all that you can

Answer 2

Please, please do whatever is in your power to help her.  Ask her to come to family counseling or something.  I hope you all work through this together.

My father killed himself last year....I never heard a cry for help.

Answer 3

from what i read there was alot of abuse from your dad then her. as much as she put you through you have to try and forgive and stand by her take her to your local mental health office or to her doctor office they will set her up and if she is having problems going go with  her show her you love her after all that happened shes probably fellig bad about everything and it killing her inside.its not to late to help i hope you the best just love your mother it sound like one after your grandparent and before you ever did no man that hits his wife loves her iam so sorry youhad to grow up like that just make a vow to your slef that your kids will not have to i have a mentaly abusive father and its hard for me to get throw it and not do it to my kids.hang in there she will get better with love and help

Answer 4

you say she was abusive when you were younger and that now you are bigger than her this has stopped .. i must admit that this makes me wonder if shes moved on from one control technique to another "that of emotional blackmail"  

be very carefull in your dealings with her .. offer her support of course and assist her in seeking help but do not allow her to "guilt" you into things

esspecialy be careful that its not an attempt to monopolize all your time.  

Answer 5

If she has health insurance you can call them and ask what is covered and what places are covered. you can also look in the yellow pages for places in your area. If your mom seems to want to hurt herself just call the police and they will take her to the hospital. They would probably keep her to evaluate her.

As for the past, she was in a bad relationship with your dad and you probably suffered the brunt of her anger. Try to let it go and if you have let her know. She probably feels very guilty.

Answer 6

I just did a google search and this is one of the sites that came up.  You can do other searches to see if you like anything better, but hopefully this will help.  You need to get help for your mom sooner rather than later.  Even if this isn't the right number to call, I'm sure they'll know who to refer you to for local services or more personalized attention.

1-800-SUICIDE, 1-800-784-2433

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/...

Answer 7

Wow, I so feel for your family. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I think you should tell your mom exactly what you told all us yahoo users: that you really care about her and want her to get better. I don't think you should send her away to, like, live at a theraputic place, but get her in to see a therapist or psychiatrist a few times a week or even every day. (Check out that option by going to the hospital and asking about it.) I hope all goes well, and let your mom know that she is not alone.

Answer 8

take her to a doctor. my mom is in  the slightest way the same but somewhat worse. she needs to be on meds. such as xanax.

you just need to be there to make sure she doesnt do something drastic and abuse the stuff.

my mom wont go to a doctor anymore to be tested for her problems because she doesnt want to take meds.

do this and she will be a better happier mom.

:]]

my dad takes meds and he is the happiest and most calm i've seen in yeeeeaaarrsss haha.

well best of luck to you and your family :]]

Answer 9

Your mother is severly depressed and needs to be seen by a psychiatrist who can evaluate her to see if she needs admitted to a hospital or outpatient therapy and antidepressants. Is there another adult like an aunt, uncle, grandparent that could help you get her the help she needs? I pray that your mom gets the help she needs to get better. God bless.

Answer 10

sounds like she is suicidal take her to your local E.R. and have them evaluate her condition she may  hate you for it but she'll be around to do it . Good Luck. If she refuses to go then call the police and tell them she is talking about killing herself then she will have no choice but to either go to the doctors or jail where they will keep an eye on her. Misery loves company and sounds like she either wants help or allot of attention either way she'll get it  the end.

Answer 11

My husbands mother is the same way, with the exeption of the one abusive person, instead it was boyfriends over the years beating her.  I don't know how bad the abuse was,but she needs to konw and accept that it is NOT her fault that her husband was abusive. She did nothing to cause the abuse that he gave.   She needs knows that the people closest to her do not blame her for that.  A place that might be able to help at least give some advice to you or suggest somewhere for her would be maybe a domestic violence support group.

Good luck, but remember they have to WANT to help themselves before ANY body can help them.  

Answer 12

be more supportive is all you can can do now

Answer 13

I'm guessing your not at home. Good. Suggest she get some therapy with a psychologist. Tell her you love her and that you are fine and she should be too. It's not too late for mom to get life back on track

Answer 14

she is severely depressed and i am not sure if she will go to doctor but she needs to see therapits and get help quick. its hard to make someone go and then take the meds its even worse it will help alot and she would feel alot better. you could try and maybe call the docto and get her appointment and stuff maybe she'd go you are along way i guess but maybe this would help and get things lined up for her.

Answer 15

Your Mom is suffering from depression for sure. Just be supportive and tell her you love her, she is probably afraid if her employer finds out she will lose her job. That is so untrue, so many people suffer from depression including me, I take meds every day and even so some days are better than others. The heart palpitations are probably from anxiety which sometimes goes along with the depression. If she can get into therapy for this it would do her some good. It probably isn't you children at all, it's all the abuse she took from your father. Been there done that. Good luck to all of you.

Answer 16

Tell her that no matter what, you are there for her.

Bruises fade, but your blood doesn't.

call your local medical center / hospital,

and get her into some counsellling and go with her if she needs someone

Answer 17

Your mother is depressed.  Take her to family doctor and describe the symptoms:  depressing, thoughts and fears of dying, crying, guilt, etc.

Sometimes its as simple as prescribing a daily form of medication.  

Good luck.

Answer 18

Oh my gosh. Your mother is suffering from pretty serious depression. She's not really dying, it's part of depression. When people are seriously depressed they tend to have pretty severe anxiety as well, which incorporates physical symptoms like: hear palpitations, dizziness, trembling... and psychological symptoms like feeling like one is dying and/or worrying a lot before or during the time of the anxiety episode. You need to talk to her seriously and tell her that you will get her help and she will be like she used to when she wasn't depressed. The truth is, she can and will get help if you make it happen, and she will be back to her nondepressed self as soon as she gets treatment. Anti-depressants today work fairly well, considering that one taking them has depression. I really really really hope that everything goes o.k. for you guys. I will be thinking about you!