What to do about my mother, she has a new boy friend?

Question

I am 31 years old married and have an 10 year old, my mother and I do not see eye to eye on many things she has terrible relationship choices and as a result stopped dating for a long time, she has in the past blamed me for "causing men to walk out on her" because I would misbehave when new men were around ( I was a kid and was probably upset at the constant disruption) inevitably they would leave so I refused to get close to many of them

recently she told my son that she had a surprise for him that it was something that he always wanted but it would have to stay at her place, and that she wanted to go out for a movie, he was excited for 2 days.

My son and I go over and she says surprise and there is a 35year old guy with tattooed sleeves sitting on her couch! She is 50. She said to my son that he was going to take care of nanny, then she expected me to just leave so they could go out to a movie together,

I apologized to they guy and said I mean not disrespect but I do not know you and I am a bit taken aback, he asked me not to judge him on his appearance, I laughed pulled up my pant legs and revealed my not yet completed tattoo "socks" My mother then threw a hissy saying that I don't want her to be happy and that I never wanted her to have a boyfriend and why I don't trust her judgement

I told her that is was stupid to tell my son that and that she has no right to introduce anyone to my son unless it is ok with me, my concerns are that this will not last long and maybe my son will become attached or this guy will hurt her and he will have a hard time with it, I think it is inappropriate until the relationship is a bit more solid (a month or so old) she told me to get off my high horse.

was I wrong? I am just at this point looking out for my son, and why after being a single mother for all these years would she not want to be without a child to have dates why all three of them go out? without any disregard for my authority as a parent or my sons comfort level.

Answer 1

I think you did right to be honest. You are the mother of your son, not your mother, she shouldn't expect you to leave him with herself and another man who is a total stranger to the both of you. I think that yes she should have waited until the relationship was quite stable, rather than just pressing it on you immediately. Don't worry, you did the right thing to look out for your son and (even though im 15 nearly 16) i understand why you wouldn't feel that your son would be secure in an environment with a man neither you or your son know well and that your mother is just an aquaintance of.

Hope i helped :)