What to do about my... "special" friend.?

Question

So I just started highschool and it's really fun but I'm having trouble with this "friend" of mine... she's really short, REALLY skinny and has trichlomania (you pull your hair out) and a.d.d. and these huge bulging eyes, glasses, and acne. She pities herself a LOT because of this and tends to sulk and act tragic until someone coddles her. She has a strange obsession with being "asian" even though she has thin blondish grey hair. She can also be really mean to people, for instance she called my friends brother a vampire to his face for no reason and when a kid was talking on his cellphone ludly close to us, she screamed, "CAN YOU SHUT THE **** UP?!" She tries to be funny and thinks she's hilarious but she's awkward. She tends to rant and forces me to look at every single.. for example, pencil she found online that she wants to get. She also is sort of obsessed with me because i was nice to her when she came to our school as a new kid. And now it's starting to creep me and my other friends out because she constantly says how she loves how i dress, and how cool i am, and she told my friend that she liked a certain pair of underwear cause it looked like my underwear and now she says she wants to dye her hair my color. Soooo... for a really long time I've been sorta putting up with her cause I don't want to make her feel bad since she doesn't have many other friends, but lately my friends have been getting uncomfortable and say they don't want to come to things if she's coming which makes things hard because if she gets wind of a party or a trip to the mall, she will flat out invite herself, and she kind of ruins these fun things and makes everyone uncomfortable. Now, my other friend has started hanging out with the "special" friend and they are ignoring me a bit because i'm not very fun when the "special" friend is around. I'm happy that they took her off my hands but I'm losing my other friend because they're with "special" now. I know theyll eventually grow sick of her but what should I do? Dump the odd friend, because then the other friend would get mad at me, dump both? dump none? please give details! Thanks!

Answer 1

LOL YOU WROTE A LOT!!! Anyway just put up with it lol... (didnt read but 1 sentence)

Answer 2

so you are saying that you didnt want "S" around but now that another friend is hanging out with her, you are jealous?? Either be friends with her or not. Just explain to her that she doesnt always have to be around you. or use this other friend spending time with "S" as an advantage, hang with your other friends when those two are hanging out. make time for everyone.

Answer 3

sometimes you just gotta cut some friends off i think you should just ditch them both until they stop hanging out with the weird girl atleast

Answer 4

Its good that your not just wanting to dump her as a friend cause of what your friend think. You just can't deal with her any more and that's ok. Its also good that you were nice to her when she was a little different from everyone else. You should tell her how you feel. Try just sitting her down and telling her that you want to be your own person and that she should be her own person too. Be honest but nice too. Tell her that you feel like you guys are spending too much time together and want to spend some time away from each other. If she invites herself next time say nicely that "we wanted to go with just the ( whatever #  ) of us but, maybe you can make plans with some of your other friends". That may sound mean but encourage her to go hang out with or make other friends that she can be with. That way you guys can kind of part ways for a while find yourselves.

Answer 5

I don't think you should stop being friends with one person to make another person happy. You need to treat all your friends the same. I would talk to your friends about how they make you feel though, and if your not enjoying their friendship then you should be honest about that. I would never dump a friend just because someone else didn't like them though.

Answer 6

can you tell me exactly what your friends think about her?

because once you said they're with her most of the time that they are not with you anymore and they almost enjoy spending their time with her

but now you say your friends avoid you because of her

I would leave this person alone anyway

if you think she's kinda abnormal or is trying to be different and you're not enjoying this then why should you two be friends?try to avoid her little by little so that she doesn't get sad

don't make your old friends think you don't want to be with them anymore because you have found this crazy new friend lately

if you really wanna help this new classmate you should ask other students to help you,tell them what the story is and that you think sh needs attention

then,maybe all you can get somehow close to her and after that you can tell her she needs to change her behavior

it takes a long time but it'll pay finally

I hope

Answer 7

I knoww exactly what you mean!!! There's this girl and she thinks im her best friend and it drives me nuts cause shes crazy around everyone but then one day i told her like to calm down and she actually took my advice and uhmm then she forgot and became all hyper again. So my friends were backing down on me, so i first asked my friends to hang out with me and so i got them back on my side and i tried to act like i wasnt friends with her so she would leave me alone... but not so alone, so like dont laugh at what she does, smile is good enough and when the girl does stop tell her what you felt about her ... say that you was sorry that you was telling her this but sometimes she did things around you that you didnt want... like if you dont invite her somewhere,she shouldnt come and crash the place. and tell her she takes things to the max sometimes

you could do that, or either just what for the response to come too you which i did and it worked .

well that was confusing, but i hoped it helped =D

Answer 8

To your friends:

*Explain to them how much she creeps you out and copies you

To your "special friend"

* Tell her if she carries on being nasty to people and copying you that you think you guys can't be friends because 2 things you have always valued about yourself is your individuality and niceness and she's taking that away from you

Answer 9

I think you need to talk to an adult about this problem. Tell your parents or student counsellor, if you feel it is hard to talk, try writing it down just like on this web site, and please do not let all this hassel get you down, you have a lifetime in front of you. Get help, and say a prayer to God, asking his help, if you talk to him each day, he will answer.