What to do about serious mental condition.?

Question

I have been living with my girlfriend for eight years...at first she just seemed, I would say...maybe a little slow and a little "unaware". Before I met her she lived in a very isolated setting...basically just the parents, a younger sis and classes at an art's school/college. Since graduating college she has been completely negligent with her jobs (getting fired from most) missing time, being late, doing poor quality. She is angry alot and blames everything on everyone else...I mean stuff that I wouldn't give a second thought to she just goes off on. For example, today we went out for dinner...out of nowhere she started talking about how when she was 5 (25 years ago) her Mom didn't pick her up from school and that is the reason why her life is so messed up...she got really angry and started crying out loud in the middle of the restaurant. This type of behavior is normal. I don't know what to do...I have never believed in psychology as a beneficial science...but my girlfriend's situation is really starting to scare me. Other than me she really doesn't have any friends to talk to (her parents and sis moved out of town a few years back)...and she will never admit there is anything wrong. Can anyone offer me some help/suggestions? I thank you in advance for your advice...

Answer 1

I agree with the other person saying Depression.  Your gf's life points to that. Let me tell you, I was at a level of Depression many years ago and I too had some of those very symptoms, living isolated-like, negligent with jobs, etc. only I blamed myself for everything and I didn't have good relationships in my teen years, I was a "doormat" and I grew up very, very insecure too.

  Depression leads to negative things, and is also lonked with many anxieties.    This whole mess runs in my family.     I have 2 Daughters who fight anxieties and Depression and the best thing they do is get Counseling, for someone to talk to who is trained in this area and who can help overcome the problems and working at it too.

  My younger one she too will act out in public places!  I can't take her anywhere when I see she is in a mood.

  I'm in the process of getting her to a Neurologist at this time because she was seeing a Psychiatrist and they did NOTHING for her except prescribe medicines and all it has done is build on her anxieties more., besides she can't shake off the side effects of them.

  So, avoid the Psychiatry dept. of medicine and if your gf will go have her see her regular Dr. and discuss some of the problems she is having and the Dr. can direct her to a Dr. in the field she should seek out.               I am very sure your gf is miserable inside and she is being cheated in her life by living with being irritable and it doesn't have to be this way.  

She isn't admitting anything is wrong because she is just afraid that there is and at times, a person can feel so lost!    The first step to feeling better and living a normal life IS admitting something is wrong and wanting to change it.        Life is too short to miss out on happiness and you don't want her to drag you down with her!

Thats nice that you support her!  Good for you!  she needs that.

Hey, I have been all through Psychological problems so if I can help with any dilemmas, please email me and we can talk.

As I was saying, a regular family Physician is a good start.  And I had a Physical exam just because it had been years but they did blood work and the usual tests, and I recommend this before anything else.  BUT, it is important at some point that your gf see a Dr.ok?  A good consultation is the best step with what she is going through.  She can get through it.

   Sorry for what it is doing to you, but when you understand more how deep the problems go, and many start in childhood, you and your gf can learn together and work through it.            Life will get better the minute she does something about it now and I really believe the best bet is a family Dr. to talk things over with, and the rest will fall into place from there.          

           Your support will do wonders too!

Answer 2

my mind used to go all over the place but it now thinks of one thing at a time.

sorry about your problem.

Answer 3

I'm not sure about a disorder,

but I believe she is depressed, well, obviously.

Maybe she has anger problems and she has deeper conflicts that needs to be talked about. Let her know that you are there and let her open up to you. It may take a while to open up but if she does, she may depend on you. If you truly love her and want to help her, then dedicate yourself to helping her.

Maybe something happened to her when she was younger, or the whole time, she felt rejected by her parents. It can be many things, but if she doesn't open up to you, try sending her to a counselor so she can let out her feelings.

Answer 4

Sorry, this is a very serious problem, and one to which I can relate.

I'm not sure how to convince you, but I believe (based on the text of your question) that you will not be able to solve this problem without the help of a mental health professional of some sort. My experience is that the best way to do this is to offer it as a suggestion every time she is upset. When she is crying and upset you should suggest that she might feel better if she talked to someone. This won't work in one shot, you have to keep pressing until she is willing. It may help if you go with her.

Another option for getting her to see someone is to talk to a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist, and ask them for advice on how to get her to come in.

Note: the onset of schizophrenia is often in the late 20s. This is a serious condition, and at the very least should be ruled out. Lots of good people out there who have dedicated their lives to helping people, you don't have to "believe in psychology as a beneficial science" to believe in the desire and capability of others to help (you obviously believe that is possible, as you have posted here). Clinical psychologists work very hard to try to understand how to help people, and there are many successes.

I wish I could suggest something else, there simply is no easy answer. If you feel you really love her, and you want her in your life, you have to make her behavior fit with what you can handle. Otherwise, split.