What to do about slack people who fail to RSVP?

Question

What should I do if some people don't RSVP to our wedding by the set date? I will have to confirm numbers and things soon so do I call them and politely say are you coming or not or should I assume that they won't be attending? Not sure how to go about this.

Answer 1

I agree with the first poster, however the problem with that is if you don't call they could end up showing up.

Perhaps they thought they mailed it in, or they did and for some reason it didn't make it too you.  You'd have "unexpected" guests.  Or maybe something happened and they didn't get the invitation.

It's best to just call and confirm.  Ask them if they received the invitation and if so, ask them if they are coming or not.  

Just be polite even if you are annoyed. :)

Answer 2

You should call them.  It's best to do it as soon as you can, and say something like "Sorry, but your RSVP seems to have gotten lost/we lost our list of people that have RSVP'ed and we we just wanted to confirm that you are coming".  Try not to make them feel bad for not doing it, some people have other stuff going on and really just forget (and yes, some are just lazy and rude!)

Also, don't assume that if they haven't replied they're not going to come to your wedding - they may well turn up and then you'll have the stress of trying to deal with that at the last minute and that's the last thing you want/need.  

Just give them a polite phone call and make it sound like the problem is at your end (like you've lost the list). This way you're letting them know subtley that they haven't held up their end of the bargain without coming across like a b*tch.

Good luck, it's a rotten situation, but it has to be dealt with.

Answer 3

I don't know.

But you just reminded me that I missed my friend's wedding last Friday.

oh man. I'm an ***.  

Answer 4

my wedding etiquette book says that you should call everyone who doesn't rsvp.  thats what i had to do too. i emailed or called everyone and asked them. you can't just assume they aren't coming because for me, there were a couple people who were planning on coming and had just totally forgotten to rsvp.  

Answer 5

Oh, some people are so rude to not rsvp...  Yes, you call them - a few days after the rsvp date. Keep it simple, say you must know if they are attending or not because the caterer needs the final numbers. And PHONE, don't email - talk to a live person.

Answer 6

Yes give them a call. Tell them to be honest, that you won't be upset about it, but that you need a final count.

Answer 7

Yep call them and say that you are just confirming the numbers and you need to know. oh and by the way, congradulations

Answer 8

You have to call them... you can never know without an answer.

Answer 9

if they don't answer, then cross them off... :D

Answer 10

Maybe if you can get 5 or 6 extra guests needs and then put 5 or 6 of your favorite people who did not RSVP on the list to get in if they show. Anyone else should be turned away by whoever is checking people in. It wont be you cause you are the main person & you will be busy elsewere! Get someone to check the guests names as they come in. I hope that made sense.

Answer 11

Give them a polite phone call. It is best to do this because there could always be a chance that one or two invites got lost in the mail.

Answer 12

Don't assume that they are or aren't coming.  Receptions are expensive and you don't want to pay for someone who won't be there.  When we got married my husband's cousin was supposed to bring a date and at the last minute he didn't and it was too late to change the count so I had to pay for her even though she didn't attend. You shouldn't have to call and ask because you gave a response date and people should be mature enough to answer but I would call.

Answer 13

You need to call each person if they  dont respond on time.

Answer 14

Hi Darl, Congratulations! If You Are Calling Them Slack It Seems To Me They Aren't That Important And Certainly Not Worth Chasing Round After. If I'm Wrong And They Are Friends That You Would Miss Having At Your Wedding, Then I Think You Know What To Do.

Either Way Have A Beaut Day Darl, I Bet You'll Look $1,000,000!

;)  ---,'---,--<@ Champaign Roses Times 12 Dozen.

Answer 15

Don't assume they aren't coming.  I have done this in the past, with social gatherings, only to have them show up.  When I have commented that since they didn't RSVP I wasn't expecting them, they almost always say they thought RSVP was for regrets only.

I would suggest that you divide the list among family members or your bridesmaids and start calling.

Answer 16

well... you could do  a couple things

you could just assume there not coming

you could make room for them at yur wedding

you could call them and ask them

or you could pretend you dont know them.

Answer 17

Are they people you really want there? If yes- ring them and just politely ask them, if no- forget about it

Answer 18

People who fail to RSVP are a fact of life. If they are people you truly want there, than call them: "Hi, I noticed that you and George hadn't RSVPed, and I'm working on a final head count...Will you two be attending the wedding?" etc.