What to do about this lady at work.?

Question

Let me preface by saying that I began working when I was very young - so many years ago! :O) And NEVER have I encountered a person like the one I am about to tell you about. (Really - and I am normally a 'live and let live' sort of person).

In any case, NONE of us can stand her (there are about 12 people in the department and out of the 12 maybe three talk to her). She cries and whines about everything! Example: our company allows auditors to buy shoes in which to perform inventory counts and gives them $25 toward the purchase. She was whining that the shoes she bought were uncomfortable and could she buy more expensive ones. She whined that another auditor received their purchasing card before she did. She whines because there are no spiral bound notes pads, etc. Goofy things!!! She has had bigger run-ins with a couple of the other auditors.

Okay all good and well I guess because it didn’t involve me – UNTIL last week.

Answer 1

Wow ... I just love office politics.  Makes me sooo happy that I get to stay at home with my toddler.

Okay, this is the way it looks to me.  If everyone in the office dislikes her, A LOT, I guarantee she knows it.  It's a funny thing about working with a group of women ... there's always going to be a "bad guy" that nobody likes.  It doesn't matter if that person really is terrible, or just terribly misunderstood.

And the more you hear bad things about this person, the more you're going to dislike her.  That's how it happens.

She has to go into a work environment every day where she knows everyone hates her.  One day you send her an email putting down her idea in an insulting manner.  It doesn't matter if you say "no offense" ... you can't just say whatever you want and then say you didn't mean any offense in the same breath.  Your phrasing implied that you thought her plan was completely stupid, and it inferred that she's stupid too.  She's already stressed out ... so of course she's going to go ballistic.

And what you wrote was completely unprofessional too.  Save flippancy for your friends, it has no place in an office environment.

Of course your boss is not going to think much of it ... he probably doesn't understand the office dynamics and has also probably had a few other employees in to complain about her.

What makes you think you have the right to be cruel to her?  Because she complains about shoes?  Because the office elected her least popular?  Grow up!  And learn some compassion.  If I came into your office that girl would be the first person I would try to make friends with, just because I know she hadn't gotten a fair shake from the rest of you.  I would find out who she was on my own, instead of going on gossip.  And if that turned out to make me the unpopular one, well ... so be it.

Learn to think for yourself, and don't follow the crowd.  That's how you avoid situations like that.

Go up and apologize to her for your bad wording, and make her genuinely feel that you did not mean to cause offense.  And be nice to her until she gives you a good reason not to.

--edit--

Maybe my answer was too lengthy for you.  The wording of your email was unprofessional.  You should aplogize for it.  This is the least you should do.

If she truly is obnoxious, then you don't have to be her friend.  But you should be able to talk to her in an appropriate manner.  Don't lay the responsibility of your actions at her feet.  She did not "make" you go off.

See, I didn't react to your insult.  This is how mature people act in an office environment.

Don't ask the question if you don't want an honest answer.

Answer 2

Give her a wide berth, avoid if at all possible, and maybe get with your co-workers on an evacuation scheme when she snaps and starts shooting everyone.

Maybe leave a giant box of kleenex on her desk or something.

Answer 3

It is very difficult to deal with people who will go to any extreme to get attention. Especially, if you have to work directly with then everyday.

When she starts complaining again, just tell her you do not have time to listen to her insugnificant complainst and to take them up with your boss. Your boss will get tired of hearing them and maybe you can get rid of her. She is just trying to get attention. I have know several people like that and if you are not careful they will stab you in the back. so be careful what you say to her.

That does not mean to walk on egg shells, it just means send her so someone else to listen to her complaints or tell her you have heard enough of them and you do not want to hear them any more. You may have to take a hard stance with her and let her know you are not putting up with her BS anymore. Tell her that you do not have time to baby sit her and her petty complaints. Also, let her know that the others in the section are tired of it too and that if her attitude does not get better and if she cannot be a team player, you will call a meeting of everyone so your boss can hear from the others what is going on. Tell her is she is not satisfied with her shoe allotment or the shoes, she will have to buy her own because you cannot make an exception when everyone seems to be fine with them Also, if she cannot get enough pens and paper, she may want to consider buying a supply of her own since everyone else seems to have enough  supplies..

Just do not give her the attention she is trying to get, which she will do anything go get it.

Answer 4

i would say you are correct..at that age you should be able to make sound judgments without going over everything and she does sound annoying

Answer 5

lol dont think u should have called her a cry baby, i know u yankies like to express yourselves but that may have been a step too far! She sounds like we brits say a 'drama queen'

Answer 6

Since this is normal behaviour for her, it should be noticed by the boss. Just make sure the other 10 coworkers go to the boss with their complaints about her too. If you are the only one that has been complaining, then it only makes you look bad. A good manager would be aware of the issues with her and realize what it is doing to the morale of the team. Hopefully you won't have to go too long working with this stressful person.

Answer 7

Treat her with indifference. Get by just what's required for work, but no more, no less. If she whines to the boss again (surely he must realize what kind of dip she is), be straight up with him. Sounds like she's creating a "hostile work environment". Not a good thing.

Answer 8

Eventually everyone will get sick of her.  One can only hope.   She will lose all credibility and maybe then she will find some other job and inflict her personality on other people.

Answer 9

She has mental issues, keep away!

Answer 10

This might sound a little neurotic but you might want to start keeping a log about the significantly annoying things she says or does.  If none of you can stand her, chances are the day will soon come that management will get rid of her.  The "log" is to cover everyone's back because she may claim that everyone created a hostile workplace for HER.  You want to have back up of actual events that took place in which she was actually the one to create a hostile workplace.  Also, if you and/or your co-workers decide to approach management about her, you'll have details as to your concerns.  Don't make it sound personal, keep things on a professional level as if you're bringing these things to management's attention for the good of the job.  Definitely don't approach her personally anymore.

Answer 11

Don't worry...she'll be gone before long.  She's not the boss's relative, I hope.