What to do about unhappy uninvited guests?

Question

We went to a wedding for my fiance's friend this weekend and EVERYONE who didn't get an invitation was asking where there invitation was. People even handed me there address so I could send them one. I felt bad but don't have enough for everyone. What do I do?

Answer 1

I was THINKING about planning a wedding, and, even thought there were no concrete plans, everyone was inviting themselves and their mothers to it.

The b@lls!

Anywho, I told them we were having it in a cruise, and that they were more than welcome to join us if they wanted to.

I don't think many people will want to dish out $700 to go to a wedding uninvited...

The people I AM invited will probably get a $250 voucher to help with the costs of the cruise if the chose to attend....

I want a REALLY small wedding!

In your situation, I would say, "Sorry, but we had a limit set by fire marshalls at the reception site that we can't go over, and we had to accomodate the closest family members first. I'm sure you can understand.... We don't want to break the law!"

It's not rude (just a little white lie) but they deserve much worse, after being as rude as inviting themselves...

Just remember: You can't make everyone happy... It's physically impossible.... So at least make yourself (and your hubby-to-be) happy....

Congrats!

And where's my invite? (J/K!)

Answer 2

You don't invite people you can't afford to invite.  You do not have to explain to others why they weren't invited, but if pressed, just say you couldn't afford to invite everybody you wanted to come or there isn't enough room for everybody.  Seems to me that most people would understand how much wedding receptions cost.

In my case, we deliberately have both a small venue and small reception.  That prevents my guy's paternal family members who weren't invited from inviting themselves.

Answer 3

Just be honest with them. If it's your budget just tell them your having a smaller wedding with mostly just your close family and friends.

Answer 4

Those people are terribly tacky and rude, but you don't have to be. When people say "I haven't gotten my invitation yet," or, worse, "Where is my invitation?", all you have to say is this:

"Oh, we've decided to have a pretty small wedding, mostly family."

And then change the subject. If they keep pursuing it, keep saying, "Yes, it's going to be a small wedding. Mostly just family." That's the only explanation they need, regardless of what the real situation is.

Answer 5

It's typical lack of understanding as to what goes into a wedding.  People who have never planned one & don't understand the expense just don't get it.  They think it's the same as Monday night football.

I dealt with this A LOT when planning my wedding.  I would usually tell them it's going to be a small ceremony with close friends & family only and say that I'd hang on to the address for later in case we threw a bigger party afterward.  You'll never avoid offending some people.  You just have to do it with as much tact & class as possible.

Answer 6

I ran into this prob and I just told them we are keeping our ceremony/reception small just family and our closest friends will be attending.. people tend to come out of the woodworks for weddings for some strange reason.. I guess the open bar...LOL

Answer 7

Tell them that you are having a ver small, intimate wedding and that, unfortunatly, you will not be able to include everyone that you wished could be there.

Good luck and congratulations

Answer 8

My first instinct is to ignore all of these people, but I suppose that’s not nice.

At the time, I would have been honest. “We’d love to invite everyone, but our space/budget is limited so we had to limit our guest list.”

So if you don’t want to just ignore these rude people, you can reach out to them and tell them the honest truth.

Answer 9

Ouch...honey, that's tough. But the fact is, it's YOUR wedding. YOURS, not theirs. If you don't want to invite them, then they'll just have to get over it. Just because you're getting married doesn't mean that you owe them an invitation. Ignore it, and if they still call and ask for one (or crash it) you need to say, "I'm sorry, but I just have too many people already. I really care about you, and I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't send you an invitation."

Answer 10

It is rude of people to assume they are invited and push that onto you.  Invite who you can and leave out the others.  If they ask later, just explain that your budget/space/ church/whatever could not accomodate everyone that you would have liked.  Apolgize and leave it at that, there is nothing else you can do.  They will get over it.

Answer 11

They were VERY rude. You don't owe them an explanation but if the ask say you're sorry but your budget only allowed for a certain number of guests.

Answer 12

You make you list and send those invites out.  To others who are rude and impolite enough to demand invites and to even push addresses on you you simply tell them that finances have put a severe limit to the number of people you can invite and with the large family obligations you regret that you will not be able to invite them and you are so sorry.  That is more than good enough for people that obviously know nothing about good manners

Answer 13

You simply tell them that while you appreciate their friendship you are having a small intimate wedding.

Do NOT be bullied into inviting these people.

You have a guest list now stick to it!

Answer 14

Don't let these rude people stress you out.  Just let them know your having a small wedding.  They'll get over it.  We limited our guests and also did not invite children.  Most everyone understood and now probably don't even remember it.  So do what you want, it's your wedding not theirs.

Answer 15

Unless you are put on the spot to give an answer, say nothing at all and don't send them an invite.

If you are put on the spot, tell them that you were unfortunately limited in space and were not able to invite everyone you would have liked to invite.

Answer 16

First, these people are very rude for inviting themselves to the wedding.  Tell them that you are keeping the wedding very small and intimate, with only family and very close friends.  If they still insist on coming, send them an invite to the church only.  Good Luck!

Answer 17

People can be horribly rude, so don't let yourself be bullied into inviting anyone.

If they ask, simply tell them that you and your fiance' are having a small, intimate wedding, and unfortunately that means a small guest list, but you value their friendship and appreciate their well-wishes.

Answer 18

Explain why the reception is small, and then (without specifically saying "I'm inviting you for the ceremony only") remind them that anyone can come to a wedding ceremony, and that you'd love to have a lot of people there since you can't have everyone at the reception.

The above only applies if, even after they've been so rude, you do want them at your wedding.