What to do as a step-mom about situation with husband's ex?

Question

A few weeks ago, my husband and I went camping with our 5 month old and his 7 year old twin girls. One of the older girls fell and got a little scraped up. She was fine and played the rest of the weekend. We took them back to their mother's (we get visitation every other weekend) and she called the following Monday saying that the little girl's arm was broken in 3 places. We knew it wasn't broken, but did a little calling around to find out for sure, and its not broken at all. Their mother has always gone out of her way to make up stories in order to try and make my husband mad. She is currently denying us visitation and is still trying to tell us that the little girl's arm is broken. She even has the little girl believing that its broken in 3 places. I think that this time she's gone too far and am curious about what you would do if you were in my position once we get visitation back. I don't feel comfortable telling her that her mother lied to her, but I also don't want to be a part of lying to her and treating her like she has a broken arm. Serious answers appreciated.

Answer 1

Your husband needs to step in and take control of this.  It is not your responsibility.  He needs to file contempt orders against her and get the visitations back.  Then, for a while, you need to make sure someone other than a family member needs to see the condition of the children (in a non-shallot way) before they are taken back to their mothers.

Answer 2

You gotta go to court. The judge will make the determination.

Answer 3

YOU need to step back and let your husband handle this. It is his family and his issue, has nothing to do with you as a stepmother.  Sad but true.  Legally, it is not your concern and the last thing you want to do is start badmouthing her mother when she comes to visit, that may get your visitation reduced for real through the court.  If she denies visitation, call the police, document the incident and see her in court for contempt.  The truth will come out in court.  If the arm is broken the kid will be in a cast, you cant really fake that one.  

Answer 4

I would have your husband request x-rays or a Dr's report of some kind, she cant just go around making up things to take away visitation. He needs 'proof' and if she cant/wont provide, I would take her to court. I bet she would stop making these claims then.

Answer 5

"your mom thinks it's broken but it's not. if it was broken... these would be the symptoms {symptoms here] but since you don't have these, it's not broken. i'm sure it still hurts and we'll take care of you until you heal. on the bright side, you'll heal faster since it's not broken."

don't tell her it's not broken and then treat her like it's normal even if it is since her mom led her to believe it was broken. even if she realizes that it isn't broken, she'll probably still think it's injured or at the very least, expect it to be treated as such. she's seven. be sensitive.  

Answer 6

First of all, if your guy is paying child support for the twins, and there is an order of visitation set through the courts, the ex wife is in contempt of court for denying the father's visitation time.  

She is also bitter and evil and abusing her daughter at the moment.  It's abusive to do this to a child (both trying to convince her that her arm is broken, and keeping her from visiting her father).

While you care about your husband, this matter is between him and his ex, not you and him and his ex.. it's about their child.  I'd say the father needs to assert his visitation rights by talking to the child support people, or his attorney.  I'm sure the attorney would give advice.

Answer 7

With situation its best that you sit back, calm down and let your husband handle everything. I grew up with a step-father and he had other kids and their mom's weren't always nice. The thing my mom had to learn was the best thing to do is let him handle it and just let matters stay the way they are because has that child gets older, they will learn that their mother is crazy. My step-dad kids learned about their mother and they actually became closer to my mother.Please don't tell that child that their mother is a liar because it will create more drama than you probably want. Just be calm and pray!!!!

Answer 8

Tell her to meet you at the doctors. Have the doctor examine the child. Of course her arm isn't broken, kids are tough but not so tough as to play through a broken arm. Also see a lawyer. It might get messy.  

Answer 9

She can not deny your husband visitation.  Go to court make her prove that it was broken (doctors note and x-rays).  Forget trying to explain the broken arm to the little girl.  If the child brings it up just say her bone is all better and kiss it.