What to do for a wedding where the family is very christian and conservative but we want alcohol?

Question

We have friends and we also like to drink and have a good time but that will not work with our family and someone will get offended if there was alcohol around. How could we accomodate both and still have a great time? Not sure if we should have something one day and something else another day or do like an after party...I have no idea how to accomodate both without so much hassle and money.

Answer 1

I'm Christian and i don't drink but i don't expect everyone around me to be Christian, true Christians are not offended by it, have champayne why not--Christians do not expect the world to have their values-just the opposite.

Answer 2

Honestly,  you need to do what will work best for you.

If you want alcohol at your wedding then you should be able to offer it to the guests that want it.



If you have holier than thou relatives that will look down upon it, then that is THEIR problem.  Not yours.  

While I commend you for trying to please everyone, it's not possible.  Do not break the bank or your heart in trying to make everyone happy.

Who do speak with more?  Your family or your friends?

If the answer is your friends, then have the alcohol and explain to your family that not everyone shares their views.

If the answer is your family, then your friends will understand the priority put upon that relationship.

I would not do two parties...that's just taking out a toll on you.

Answer 3

Just offer wine with dinner and champagne with dessert.No one needs to get drunk but many people enjoy a bit of wine with dinner.

Your family has to realize that there way is not the way of everyone.

What does Christian and not drinking have in common ?

Didn't Jesus make wine from water ?

Have a nice day and don't make a big deal out of it.

Answer 4

The choice is yours. If you want alcohol there then set a limit. If you want it to be a sober event then don't serve alcohol. Its your wedding not your family or friends. Both should understand that the choice is yours.

Answer 5

Depends on who is paying. If the family is paying for the wedding, they have every right to refuse to pay for alcohol if they feel uncomfortable around people who drink.

If you are paying, they don't get to have a say since it's your wedding and your money. I seriously doubt that they'll miss your wedding because you served alcohol.

You could always have an "after-wedding party"  where you play more contemporary music and serve alcohol. you can either do it right after the wedding, when the wedding winds down and most older people leave, or you can have a casual party after you return from your honeymoon.

Answer 6

Your getting married!

You must be old enough to stand up to mommy and daddy!

Are you going to ask your family when and how you can have s*x, too!

Quit acting like a high schooler.

Answer 7

Are you sure you aren't making a big deal about their beliefs?

My mom's side of the family (my aunts, uncles, grandparents) are very religious and do not drink.

However, they understand that other people do.

The easy way to accomodate both would be to offer both alcoholic beverages for yourself and your friends, as well as non-alcoholic beverages for those who do not drink.

Unless the family has told you that they won't come if alcohol is there, then I would assume that they are fully aware that some people drink alcohol and don't think it is a big deal.

Answer 8

No one has the right to allow their own religious principles to dictate how you conduct your wedding. My brother is Christian (although thanfully not fundamentalist) and my sister in law is Muslim. At their wedding the Muslims drank soft drinks and the rest of the guests drank alcohol. The Muslims didn't make a song and dance about alcohol being served, they were charming and joyful, and we all had a wonderful time.

Answer 9

just have a cash bar, If people want to drink they will pay.

Answer 10

you can do them both at the same time.. have the bar at your reception but don't open it until after dinner that way the family that is against it can leave if they want but you can still party .. you would be respecting their wishes and giving them time to celebrate with you and having the reception you want.

Answer 11

How about you just don't drink for a few hours?

Answer 12

You just be good hosts and have an open bar. Those who choose to not imbibe simply don't. Have lots of non-alcoholic options.

Answer 13

Maybe have wine with dinner but no bar. Or else go dry. Lack of alcohol will not make people uncomfortable, but its presence might make some people uncomfortable.

The other side of it is that it's a party. How much attention are people going to pay to their stout(/ale/pilsner/wine/etc)? It's not an ideal environment for drinking.

Answer 14

If you are paying, you can serve whatever you want. If the parents are paying, you should defer to them. One compromise might be to serve wine and beer only, rather than hard liquor. Then give your friends a list of fun places to go out after the reception. They need to class it up for the wedding, they can let loose afterwards.

Answer 15

pay for an open bar. Then some can drink, others don't have to. Please don't do a cash bar though...it's kinda tacky.

Answer 16

Bottom line is, it's your wedding and you should have what you want

Answer 17

its YOUR wedding.....drink up, party on.....

if ur worried bout makin YOUR wedding acceptable for OTHERS, maybe you should not be gettin married at all.

Answer 18

have a party later,inform all that alcohol will be present and then get down. most of all enjoy YOUR wedding. let the bleeding hearts bleed somewhere else.

Answer 19

It's your wedding reception.  I'd just have the wine, though.  That way, you can still have your alcohol, but not the hard liquor. If they don't like that -either those who don't drink and those who do-, just too bad.  Heck, Jesus drank wine.

My guy's paternal family are very conservative Christians, but neither of us really care about it since he and his kids don't do that gig.

Answer 20

I am having the same problem. I think what I have decided it to have champagne for the toast and that is it. But my fiance says we should at least have a keg for the ones that do want to drink. So I guess it is still up in the air!

Answer 21

At the reception, have a choice of champagne or beer...That way, people can raise both at a toast or w.e...plus champagne (although costly) will make sure that everybody has something and will incorporate everone in the celebration. :)

Hope This Helped

Answer 22

At my wedding we had alcoholic punch, and non-alcoholic...and a keg of beer. The people who choose not to drink, are free to abstain. There is no reason to ban booze from the event just because some people don't like it. Just make sure there are non-alcoholic options for those that don't want to (or can't) drink, and that's that.

Answer 23

Clearly state that it will be a Cocktail reception- so they have a choice- also you can have the catering start serving alcohol say after dinner- and cutting of the cake-toast and thats a good point for people to ...leave if they are uncomfortable

Answer 24

Personally, I don't see the importance of alcohol at any time, especially at a wedding.

Is it really that important? What exactly do you want from it that you can't get otherwise? A buzz? Do you really want a buzz at the wedding where your wedding night is right afterwards?

If it's a matter of ceremonial toasts, etc... those can be done with non-alcoholic wine that are incredibly tasty and fizzy.

You can have your wedding and have a bbq (potluck style?) of your liking later with your friends.

All the best and congratulations.

Answer 25

do a non-alcoholic party and have an after party and invite those who drink but do BYOB to keep costs low and maybe pay for a keg!