Question:

What to do if u found that ur husband had a s*x video?

by | earlier

my husband and i have been married for a year now. i love my husband so much.-- but then just recently i have found out a s*x video on the pc. it was password protected,and i know its password so i was able to watch it. it shocks me to find out that it was my husband's s*x video. it happend 7 years ago. but still. i feel so disgusted. please advise me what to do. i feel so bad about it. i know i should'nt have watch it. i talked to my husband about it. and he's blaming me for watching it.

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I think everyone is missing the point, if you are married, why does he still have this s*x video of him and another woman. This isn't something you keep like a prom photo. Its a s*x video. I personally would delete it and when he flips out over it ask him why does he needs this video so bad, since he isn't with her any more and he is with you.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
What's the problem? My wife has several. We watch them together. You should actually be glad he was watching a video and not some little neighborhood girl. Men are visual dear. You might want to get used to that idea.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I suppose it could be worse.

   Could be using a scene from it as his screen saver.

   Could have been posted to the Internet. (Oops. I wonder.)

   His costar could have been dead.

   Could involve animals and/or small children.

Okay. Clearly he's a s*****k. The fool couldn't figure out how to hide it or protect it better? Oh,well. For that sin, he has to delete it and jump through his *** to make it up to you for allowing you to be hurt.

And, in the future. Remember the old hunter's saying: "If you go out hunting lions, be real sure you want to find one. They bite."

(Or you could insist that he delete it and replace it a grand new production - costarring you.)
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
So he was in the video?, or he was just in posession of a dirty video?

That would make a HUGE difference.

If he was in the video, then I could see why you were mad.

If it's just some random dirty video, then who cares. All men watch it, it's just that women don't always know about it.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
It sounds as though your husband has no respect for you.  As hard as that is to accept, it appears that he is more interested in viewing himself with another woman, instead of making a video of the two of you together.

I would take the PC and dump it into the nearest lake, then tell him what you've done, and if he does not like it, to pack his bag and go live with his co-star.  Good luck.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
Dear I have been in your shoes. Only in my case it wasn't a video they were photographs of him and some female years before we were together. I was absolutely shocked to see that he was capable of doing such demeaning acts and then to have evidence on film. I was just flabbergasted! I showed him what I had found. Said it was something that happened with a woman that was older than he was but nothing more came of it. That was just as ugly to know that he was into casual affairs. He proved that they meant nothing more than college show-off to the guys type of thing that he discarded them by burning them. I will say that I never quite looked at him the same. There was an uncleanliness to him.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Well this teaches you to stop snooping around. Its a video from before you were around so you have no right to be angry. Here is a suggestion. Make on of you and him
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I'd bash his head into that PC.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Make a new video with you in it. And make sure you do better than the other girl.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
if he is on it he should delete it. he is married now and you are the only one he should look at intimately.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Seriously...this is your own d**n fault! It was password protected...for a reason...to keep you out.

I think that you are incredibly jealous. You have stated no where in your post that you and your husband have made one together. So it makes you feel bad.

This video is making you incredibly insecure. And the moral of the story is...don't watch other people's s*x tapes...even if you married one of the people in it.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Why would you watch something like that? I can't understand people who boycott their own relationships by asking questions they don't want the answers to, or, pressing play on a video that they don't want to watch.

Edit: People, this guy is entitled to have a past. How many of you keep love letters, pictures, or just a fond memory of someone? He is allowed to have a past, he is allowed to have memories, and this woman should have not been snooping around. I'd be more angry with myself for being so nosey. He is not being unfaithful, yet, she is being untrusting.

Edit: OMG, I am now realizing why the divorce rate is so high... Guys are not allowed to have an individuality anymore. Nope, it's even worse, women actually expect men to not want to have an individuality anymore.

Most of you girls live in disneyland.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Why would it be your fault?it's his own he had it on the computer.He needs to be a man and stand up to what he did instead of blaming it on you.Your married and he does not have the right to have that type of c**p on the computer anymore.He needs to get an life and grown the h**l up.why would he want to even do that to his own wife?He should have known you would find it one day.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
ok if it happened before you came along what is he doing still watching him self having s*x with someone else he should have been honest in the beginning if he was going to watch it and you really shouldn't have been going through his stuff to find these kinda things out I'm sure if he was hiding this he might be hiding other things,i would be mad as h**l and i would let it go and snoop alittle further just to see if there was more c**p i didn't know about
Report (0) (0) | earlier
why has he still got this on his computer, with him blaming you i think he has got sumthing to hide
Report (0) (0) | earlier
If it was 7 years ago I wouldn't bring it up. It's not like it was recent, or during the time you were married. I would just let it go. He's probably upset you dug into his past and found something like that and it was embarrassing for him. I don't think he has anything to feel guilty about. By watching it you kinda put yourself in that situation.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
He really should delete it! Especially if it's HIM in the vid !!! And if he's not with you in the vid. That is just "common".!!! Personally, I'd delete it myself. Something is wrong with him if he is still watching it!! He's a newlywed!! He should very much into YOU!!! Good Luck!!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I agree that those s*x videos are very disgusting. I understand your feeling.

You can tell him frankly how you feel and hope he won't watch it.

Actually, you mustn't watch the video, it has password protected, because he knows that you don't like it.

Do you know most males like watching s*x video?

I can say it's normal.

If you don't like, you may not watch ... but you mustn't stop your husband, maybe it's his hobby. There's nothing wrong. If you don't want to affect the relationship between you and your husband, then, you must let him have enough freedom.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Oh jeez- sounds like my husband. After fighting a losing battle on that one I decided I would not allow that to be important to me. Just go and do something that bugs the h**l out of him. Like go shopping. A lot. And make him pay. Then you will feel a lot better. I do.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Personally, I don't think that's so disgusting. I think that if you do, and he doesn't, you are going to have some serious issues in the bedroom if you don't already. Sounds to me like he is a very open-minded person sexually, and you are a bit on the shy side. Yall better talk this out, and the fact that it happened so long ago should make it easier on you. Perhaps he is not into making videos anymore anyway.

Edit:

I agree with Gun Dream too!!!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
It's something that happened in the past. Leave it alone and stop over analyzing it. Everone has skeletons in their closet. That one was none of your business. If it had happened while you were married then you have a reason to be upset. Why don't you replace it with a s*x tape from you two so he can have that to watch instead.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
It depends.. were you married 7 years ago?  If so and he's porning himself out, then you got a problem.

If you werent serious with him back then, then let it go.  Everyone does things that are considered unfavorable when they're single.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
Show him some love.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
well, it's prior to your marriage, no biggie, the fact he didn't tell you.. is some what of a biggie. I would let it go, and work or rebuilding trust. Ask him if you two can make a video, in your own home, and top the one from 7 yrs ago, he is your husband, have fun!! Turn a negative into a positive.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I wouldn't care about him making a video in the past but I would be pissed that he still had it. He would have to get rid of it.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
so leave his ***. he should have told you about it.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
i know excactly how u feel coz even i knew something shocking bout my husband(not this schoking thou)but what u can do is just forget!i did a lot of things only this helped....it wont go away from u r mind....i know but do u wanna lose lovely present for a disgusting past?
Report (0) (0) | earlier