What to do if your ex is still in love with you?

Question

it started back in 2001. i met this guy who was my first love by the way and i wasn't his. anyways we were dating until about 2005. through out our relationship we always had fights and problems. he was the one that was always getting mad at me for reasons that i didn't know myself. he would be so messed up to me. he didn't cheat on me or anything but the way he treated me, i was burned in my heart because he would go days staying mad at me for something i didn't know and not call me at all or come by to see me. with him being my first love i cried so much because i was deeply in love with this guy. anyways in the year 2005, one day he came to pick me up at work and he had this mad face on. and yet again he was mad at me for a reason i didn't know and every time i would ask him he would tell me that i am niave that's why he's always mad but what the heck?? anyways i was still stupid enough to see that because i was love blinded. i gave him everything i had. so he picked me up at work and had this mad face on. we came to my house and he just stood mute. i tried talking to him but nothing worked so i gave up and watched t.v. then he got up and left so i didn't care anymore because i was so tired of the way he was and how much pain i went through for him so i thought to myself that very same day that i wasn't going to be with a guy like this anymore so drama happened i dumped him and he tried getting back with me ever since 2005. i've told him that i could be his friend but he can't accept that. he wants to be with me and is willing to change but i've moved on. after my ex, it took me a while to find some one else and i did. my new boyfriend is so much better and we have been with each other for almost 3 years but my ex is always coming around asking me back and it is driving me CRAZY because he can't seem to leave me alone after many years. he tells me he loves me but i don't love him. my new boyfriend hates it and wants me to deal with it and tell him to back off because i am now engaged to my new boyfriend. anyways my fiance have told him to back off and if not we will call the cops because my ex has gone crazy when he found out that i was getting married soon. he became obessed with me even more and i'm afraid that he might commit suicide or some thing which i don't want him to do because i do care for him still.

long story i know, but please any ideas???

Answer 1

Some police depts have special groups that deal with stalkers.  the average cop isn't that interested in it.    Threatening suicide is a controllers device.  It would eliminate the problem.  But most controllers are to ego-centric and too lacking in confidence to do it.

My exwife , for years kept me from dealing with her ex directly.  It did affect our relationship.  Then one day I went out and was really ready and eager and I challenged him to come out of his car.  He closed the window when I grabbed for him and drove off, he stoppeddownthe street and I ran down toward him wanting finally to get a piece of him.  He drove off and never bother us again.  she was teed off at me but made a point of telling her daughters never to tell him when I wasn't there.    Don't get married with this unresolved.  Overpower the weasel. If your current guy can't physically take him or find subvertive ways to problem his existance on earth, maybe "Vitto" can talk to him.