What to do my mum caught me ?

Question

smoking a month ago and went mad and i tried veryt hard to quit but she was doin g the opposite of helping by taking my freedom and life away she wouldnt let me go college or work im 17! and i choose to smoke i know all the consequences so no lectures but she caught me the other day on the road and now she doesnt trust me at all shes saying shes pulling me out of college and im going to work becuase i cant be trusted, now ive never lied about anything else and i did a drugs test and passed but i dont know what to do i have a girlfriend i want to see and stuff and shes just over reacting please help.

Answer 1

I'm with your mother on the smoking, and she's only trying to stop you because it's bad for your health.

My father was a heavy smoker for years. He died of lung cancer 10 years ago.

Better to occupy yourself with something else that will take your mind off the cravings. It helps you maintain willpower.  

Answer 2

i see no problem in that

the only problem is your age,,wait untill u get to 18,then u can do whatever u like

Answer 3

She loves you and does not want not to have you here with her, cut her some slack, again she loves you.  True it is your body, your life, etc., but once you become a parent, you will see what all the hub bub was about.  Come on, make your Mother happy and proud of you, at least try to quit.    God Bless.

Answer 4

Problem here friend is the way you think.  You are making excuses and reasons for your smoking but they aren't valid or true.

You made a comment your locked into the house 8 hours a day that drove you to smoking.  Actually that can't be true.  If you were a smoker before that had quit and stress / tension / life caused you to go back to smoking its one thing and happens to most people who tried to quit but got back on the wagon.

I could make the same argument that being locked up in a house for 8 hours a day drove me to drink orange juice excessively, or bite finger nails or other things of that nature.  Just doesn't make sense, see?

What you have to do is take your punishment and get your mothers trust back by being respectful and overly helpful.  And for goodness sake stop smoking.  Your a kid, why in the world would you smoke anyway?  Its not the cool thing to do anymore not to mention the serious side effects that come with smoking.  And how are you affording these cigarettes anyway?  I don't even want to know but trust me you won't be able to afford them 10 and 15 years from now when your on your own, that is for sure.

Do yourself a favor, stop smoking, gain your parents trust back, study while you have a chance to do make something of yourself with a good education and several years down the line you will be grateful with what you have done with your life.

Answer 5

Mom needs to lighting up. Grounding you and puling you out of college is just a little bit of overdoing it. She needs to trust her instincts that you will make the right choices and if not, be there to help pick up the pieces. You know the dangers of smoking but you should get more "education on the dangers" than what she did. How is puling you out of colloege going to stop you from taking a drink one day? All it's going to get you is a low paying job flipping burgers. Doesn't she want more for you. If possible, you may need to get out of there and try to live your life without so much interference. You have to try before you can fail or succeed in life.

Answer 6

Smoking is your choice if you wanna stop then stop. If you wanna continue then continue. Just don't let your mother stop you. She is being selfish she is acting very immaturely. Sit down with her and chat and tell her she needs to snap out of this cos if shes just stopping you with smoking say she might try stopping you with something else that would change your life just cos she doesn't like it. Tell her she needs to move on and its your own life now and your growing up. Let her know you still love her though.

Answer 7

She is overreacting, but if you live with her and rely on her for support, then she can basically do as she desires in that regard.

My suggestion is to put them down at least for now, for peace at home. When you turn 18 get out and get your own place. You may have to find your own way to get through college (grants, loans, out of your pocket, etc) if she's going to pull you out.

Your life, once you turn 18 and are legally responsible for yourself, will go where you take it. To smoke or not will be your choice, but don't allow cigarettes to take away all the potential you might have had.

You might want to talk with your Mom and tell her you know smoking isn't a wise choice, but does she really feel taking away your current opportunity for a higher education is the best choice? You didn't commit a criminal offense...doesn't she want what is best for you?

Answer 8

Trust is a major issue with underage teens and parents.  It may be more the trust then it is the 200 plus suicide chemicals that are in the cigarettes.  To some parents... because they are so far withdrawn from the daily lives of their teen offsprings...they have to base their poor relationships on something like a "trust" issue.  And then, if they can't "trust" you...they can't relate to you....and if they can't relate to you...they aren't going to spend the last year of your "minor" life catering to you by doing things for you, and (to them)...slapping them in the face with your relationship with them.  I'm sorry that it has come to this...you might want to try to reach them....on a different level.  Having them see the YOU...in their lives... reaching out to do some things that they want to do...if they can jump that gap...maybe this issue (that you really should quit)..won't be so drastic.

Answer 9

There are two problems. The first is that you smoked, which is dumb these days. Sure, no lectures, but you are defining yourself pretty clearly when you do this - so don't be so surprised when someone reacts that way. Perhaps you should get  used to it, it will happen a lot as you grow up. Do something stupid - exepct to be treated a certain way as a result.

The second issue is the broken trust. You lied.  Why would she trust you again? She wouldn't.

Now, what don't you understand here?

Answer 10

i think that u are being a little too much. u should not do these things as u are just a boy (accept it). this time is for studying. follow waht ur parents say.  ur dedication towards them will earn u thier respect. they will trust u. alwys discuss things with them and u will see that they thierselves will give u freedom.