What to do to break your child laziness

Question

I don't want to say it but I have an 11 yr old who has a laziness about him. He is funny and a intelligent individual except for this one thing. I have considered trying to find a boot camp to put him in if this is even possible to break this laziness. I do not want this to be with him in his teen and adult life. I am seeking serious suggestions that will break this laziness. I would like to thank everyone in advance for your suggestions.

Answer 1

I'm lazy too so this is hard for me. lol I'm a home body.

We homeschool our kids plus i have some serious health issues so we are home a lot.

But, if I see my kids laying around for a long time.I put a stop to it right away! First I'll give a warning. I'll say something like "You guys need to find something better to do than sitting in front of the tv. (or computer)." I'll give a suggestion or two.

If they don't get moving I put them to work. I'll get them to clean up the livingroom, fold laundry, do dishes & so on. There is always something they can do. If they can't find it then I help them.

I remind them that homeschooling isn't an excuse to sit around once school is done. If we are going to be family we need to work together.

This works also with a mom with health issues. I use to feel bad and blame myself, but I hope to teach my kids that they can help mom feel better know that when I can't fold or put away laundry they can help me  out. Or if I am in a lot of pain my 12yr old can help watch her little brother & sister instead of playing on the computer all day.

The key is balance. I know some homeschooling families who put their kids to work and sports and so on all day long. Kids need time to play and enjoy relaxing in front of the tv for a bit. But, they can also learn when they see mom struggling with a bed full of laundry to sort & fold that they can get off their bottoms and ask if you need help.

I've often rewarded the kid who asks by saying "No thank you. But you can play a computer game while your sister comes to help me." lol

Reward those who do help. I dislike paying kids for chores. Chores is a part of family life. When your son moves out he isn't going to get $5 for cleaning his room or mowing his law. ; )

Answer 2

Why don't you want to say it?  Call a spade a spade.  

We have the same problem with my 7 year old.  You HAVE to be disciplined about setting expectations, and what happens when he doesn't meet those expectations.

He must , or there will be no (whatever).

You force him to choose work, because the consequence of not choosing work is too great.  Over time, hopefully he'll have a better work ethic.

Answer 3

Do you give him allowance? You may want to make up a chore chart with two chores per day to do and then pay a small amount of allowance for each chore done. If he doesn't do the chores he doesn't get the allowance. if you don't want to pay allowance then make it a consequence if he doesn't complete a chore.

You need to have some things set up for him to do. Make your own boot camp and unplug all the electronics and tell him it's time to do some chores.

My kids all have two chores per day to do and extras when needed. They even do their own laundry (my older three). How do I get them to do it? I just don't make not doing it an option.

You can do fun things together like bike ride, go for walks, sign up at your local community center for mother/son activities, go to the Y for family swim night, etc...

Answer 4

If your son is an exceptionally bright child, you are not going to modify his behavior easily.  Your concept of laziness may mean his thinking time to him.  Not meeting your standards for work accomplished, chores done and/or cleanliness may be completely irrational to him and a bright kid will rightly refuse to do something irrational.

You are going to have to pick your battles and settle on a couple of the things that are most important to you and focus on them.  Sit down with your son and in a logical way explain what you want done and why.  (The WHY is critical.)

("I want you to pick up your dirty clothes and leave them in the hamper, so that A) you won't have to spend time picking them up all over the house, B) they don't accidently cover up something else--can't find your sneakers, they are UNDER the pile of clothes, and C) they are more likely to be damaged from someone stepping/tripping over them...."  You get the drift. You want him to see how his actions fit into the big picture of how the family unit operates efficiently.)

When he makes an effort to do what you have asked, notice and praise him.  If he actually does something you have asked without prompting, praise him extravagantly.

You may want to set up a reward system, something that doesn't have to do with food or money.  Ask him if there is something he would really like to do, that is normally off limits or rare.  The point is, if he is doing something to make you happy, he should get the benefit of something that makes him happy.

Putting him in something like a boot camp will just trigger creative ways to rebel and won't get you where you want to go.  Engage his intellect, limit your requests, praise his efforts and reward the big stuff.

Congradulations, you may well have a future engineer/inventor/creative adult in the making.

Answer 5

take away all his electronics

help?

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Answer 6

I had this same problem with my 8 (almost 9 year old...) and after much deliberation, we (my husband and I) decided that if he was going to be lazy, we would show him what it meant to be lazy. Let me explain...if you are lazy, you can't possibly have toys in your room b/c you are too lazy to play with them or put them away; if you are lazy, you can't possibly play PSP or Gameboy b/c you are too lazy to push the buttons; if you are lazy, you must just stay in bed all day and do nothing; if you are lazy, you can't make it to the dinner table to eat - you have to eat in your room bc you are to lazy to come out of your room. At first, my son was like "OK, whatever" but after a few hours of his new "lazy life" he was getting very bored...we explained that being lazy was in fact, being very bored. Freedoms that he had taken for granted were given back to him one at a time, and he began to appreciate them. It was very difficult to stick with it, but my son has not been lazy about much since then. (And he had told me he was too lazy to ride his bike! He also said he was too lazy to listen to his teacher!!)

The important thing through this process is to be patient and loving in tone - make sure he knows it is not a punishment, but an effect of his "condition". When my son would start to complain, I would tell him "I know that it is no fun to be in your room with nothing to do, but you are lazy and lazy people can't do anything because they are too lazy!"

This process actually broke him of the electronic games (he no longer plays them or really watches TV). HIs interests now are riding his bike and playing actively outside! So much for laziness! (And it worked in less than a week!

Answer 7

I would try to give him something fun to do! Outdoor activities would give your son some air and something to occupy his time. Here are some suggestions

Football

basketball

soccer

painting

drawing

etc. etc.

Also, you could try to be involved a little more by asking him to come watch a soccer game with you, or to come to the store and help you shop for groceries.

You should also explain to him your concern about him being lazy and give him some alternatives instead of just being lazy.

Hope this helps!

Answer 8

I would make a list of acceptable chores for an 11 y/o (making bed, tidying room, dishes, taking rubbish out, feeding pets etc). Put a dollar amount next to each chore EG. dishes $2.

You then tell your son how often you expect him to do each chore. If he does it, then you give him the cash at the end of the week. If he doesn't, then he owes you the amount of the chores he didn't do, as your payment for doing his jobs. (If he does 4/5 chores, then he only gets paid for 3 chores, because he would owe you money for doing one of them). If he has no money to give you, then you take away television or electronic games.

My 2 sons hate having to go to bed earlier than their bedtime, so you could also take 15mins off his bedtime for each chore he doesn't do.

I hope this makes sense. Good luck.

Answer 9

What makes him lazy?  I would venture to say that he has entered puberty.  You should have been setting limits and boundaries a long time ago to instil  discipline in him.  Now it's a little late to change him.  There should be a limit set for how much television, how much video games, how much computer time.  He shouldn't have a television game system or computer in his room.  They should be set up in an area where he can be monitored and supervised.  If you've allowed him to have telvision, games, compute unlimited then it is your fault he is as he is.  Not his.