What to do what a needy 3 year old? ?

Question

I'm currently a nanny for a family that I have been working for for about a month now. This job will last into the next year if not more. I love the family and their two sons. Aiden is 3 years old and Kale is a little over a year. The only problem I have is that Aiden is extremely clingy. I can't do anything with out him jumping infront of me and demanding that I do something for him. When he asks me to help him with something he really wants me to do it for him, even if it's something that he normally enjoys. An example would be when I sit at the table with him and he's coloring he asks if I will "help" him color and then hands me his crayon and just watches while I color and dictates how to color. Other times he will start crying when I'm doing something such as changing his brother's diaper and Aiden screams that he's scared. If I sit on the floor and play with both of them Aiden either sits on my lap so that I can't move and help his brother or he'll tell me that we're playing a game and his brother can't play with us. It's extremely hard for me to stay patient with him. I need advice!

Answer 1

Is he always needy, or does he just have needy days? My 3.5 year old is like that, too -- not constantly, but she gets pretty needy if she's tired or worn out.

The best thing is to assure him that it's okay, that you're right there. If he's clingy, get him to help you. Give him tasks to keep him occupied. If you're changing his brother's diaper, ask him to hand you the wipes or bum cream. The best thing is to redirect him and engage him in other tasks.

And if you're busy, tell him that you would like to play with him/hold him/pick him up, but you can't at the moment, but you will when you're done.

My daughter always wants me to draw for her or take over whatever she's doing. I help her a little bit, and then just say, "Wow, look at what you did. You can do it, too."  I think they're at an age where they realize they aren't as capable as they would like to be.

I think it'll wear off -- you've only been with the family for a month. He's probably still transitioning.

Answer 2

Sounds to me like Aiden is a little jealous of his brother and the attention he gets. If the younger one takes a nap when the older one does not, maybe take some time to do "big kid" things with him that he can't do with his brother around. Like maybe making cookies, or a snack to share with his brother when he wakes up. Or things like playing with Play-Doh or finger painting. That may help him feel a little less jealous and look forward to his "big kid" time.